For any Yakuti readers who might not know who you are, please tell us a little about yourself.

I’m a 27-year-old Kenyan, married to Richard Dede and mother of one boy, Zuriel Dede. I am a performing artist of dance, music and drama. I am a lecturer at Kenyatta University in the department of Theatre Arts and Film Technology- School of Visual and Performing Arts and I am pursuing my PhD in Theatre Arts.

I was brought up in the humble town of Homa Bay in Western Kenya, being the eldest in a family of seven children. My parents [are] both Christians, my father a lawyer and my mother a businesswoman. I went to Sango Academy, then to Asumbi Girls High School and later to Maseno University where I did a BA in Drama and Theatre Studies and graduated in 2005 with First Class Honours and proceeded to University of Nairobi to do an MA in Gender and Development Studies, graduating in 2008.

I am passionate about Youth Issues and I give talks especially to High School Students on issues of Love and Sex, Career Choices, Reproductive Health and Building a Positive Self Esteem.

I love to be happy, sharing moments with family and friends, cooking, watching movies and performing.

You are a university lecturer, singer, speaker, wife, and recently a mother – congratulations again! And you’re not even 30 yet! What is the secret to being an achiever at such a young age?

I credit it all to God. I never thought I could be this at this age, and somehow I never feel it because I am doing what I love and that is theatre. Performance is my life and my great joy. I lecture theatre arts which I love with passion. Singing and Pubic speaking is also performance, thus all these are co-related. Being a wife is my full time job, the rest are part time. And through God’s grace I am now a mother, which is the biggest responsibility anyone has ever bestowed on me.

I’m also grateful to my mother and father who are such an inspiration to me and keep telling me to aim higher and that I can be anything I want in the face of this earth, and to my husband who has never ever stopped me from attaining the highest achievements despite ‘African sentiments on ambitious women’. My husband has given me a shoulder to lean on, he is my dearest friend and greatest critic, which challenges me to even dream bigger.

Above all, I think its all about asking God in faith and working hard towards that goal that you want to achieve. I remember there have been lots of times when I felt like God was not answering my prayers, yet after a period, most often when I have lost hope in getting something, God opens a way that is even greater than what I asked him for.

What is an average day in Zippy’s life? How has this changed since you now have a new “boss” [Zuriel]?

I wake up at 6.30am, pray, exercise for fifteen minutes then shower and groom myself. I have breakfast, watch a programme on TV until 9am then go to work (when I have lectures to facilitate). I study for 2 hours daily, either doing research for my PhD or teaching material. I’m home by 7pm, I sleep for an hour, call friends and family, shower, have dinner, watch TV, study and sleep at midnight. On weekends I make time to be with my family, no books, no internet at all at all.

Since I had my new boss, so much has changed! I cannot keep to any schedule at all except to attend meetings and lectures (we’ve got to pay bills!). Otherwise, I still study for two hours daily and my morning routine is still much the same. I call friends and family twice a week. Outings with my husband are shortened, we don’t stay out late like we used to. I am like an ambulance, ready for an emergency anytime.

How has music shaped the woman that you are today?

Music has given me a voice, confidence and a self esteem beyond compare. As I grew up through primary and secondary, everyone, teachers and students included, used to make fun of my deep big voice. Being in a girl’s only school it was ridiculous to hear a teacher say “Are there men in this class?”  It was until I joined University that my lecturer Otumba Ouko gave me a singing role in a play, insisting I could sing and that I should stop listening to people. He was right because the audience loved my voice. I was amazed! With Professor Okumu’s help, I learned to sing better and together with other students and staff we formed The Maseno University Band, where I was the lead vocalist until I left in 2005.

I believe in turning your weaknesses into strengths. I may not be the best today, but when I keep my heart to doing something, I will achieve it at all costs. Music has made me believe that all is possible. I am a role model to a lot of young girls in my home town. I feel flattered when approached by young girls asking me what to do to be great singers, and I tell them to work hard and to believe in themselves. No one can believe in you if you do not believe in yourself thus it all starts from within oneself.

Many of the songs you sing would be considered secular; however, from the song “Singedhani,” we derive that you are born again. How would you explain/defend your secular music to the Christian community?

My secular music is what I believe every person, Christian or not would derive a teaching from because I sing about everyday happenings, the social ills and love for one another. My music is not dirty, and can be comfortably listened to with people of all ages sitting together. My love songs are about the beauty of pure love, of marriage and how we are a blessing to each other.

I often say, let’s be practical Christians. We live in a society where we cannot ignore the community around us. When we see ills and wrongs taking place, as Christians we have to be like the voice in the wilderness. Each of us has the ability to use their talents and gifts to change the society. If I have to praise God each day, I have to speak for that woman who is battered and cannot attend church service because her husband is abusing her. I have to speak for that person who is so helpless and hopeless because they are raped, forced into marriage, or abused in any form, so that they can be free of all this pain and serve God without fear. It is until we are free indeed that we can fully serve God with all our might.

A person who is in pain, can only serve God in the hope that all the pain will go away soon. But when we are free of pain, then we are able to praise and exalt God’s name and be of influence to others to serve God too. I have been through moments of turmoil and as much as it drew me even closer to God, I still believe when we are happy, we serve God better.

You sing about love and social issues. Are your love songs derived from your own experiences?

Most of my songs are derived from my experiences and of those who are close to me.

How do you handle mistakes during performances?

I just tell the audience, mistakes are human. There was this time, my voice was getting very dry on stage and I was having a bout of flu. I just told the audience, “This microphone is playing games with me and I cant blame it because it is made by man, and everything made by man has mistakes, let me give it a rest before we continue.” I then paused and took some water as the band continued to play the instruments. Thank God I do live band shows; the band just goes on.

What is the biggest thing you hope to achieve with your music?

I hope that someday, someone will come up to me and tell me that listening to my music changed their life, gave them hope and strength to move on, to find the energy within and to realize their potential. I hope that my music will touch people’s life one at a time and to make them realize it’s all possible through God, if only we believe and ask God for help.

You are passionate about social issues, especially sexual violence and child abuse. What would you say to someone who comes to you and says he or she was abused as a child and is seeking healing?

I would tell them “You are not to blame for what happened to you. What happened, has happened and you have to forgive your offender so as to move on. You should not hate or blame your parents or guardian either. Life has to go on and as much as you cannot forget, forgive him and ask God to forgive the person. Also ask God to open a way for that person to either stop abusing others or pray that the person gets arrested and punished for sexual abuse.

You look beautiful in red lipstick. What is the one make up item that you cannot leave the house without?

Lipstick. My mother says, the brighter the colour, the younger you look. Lol! I don’t know how true this is but I can’t bring myself to wearing dark coloured lipstick.

A little bit about your personal life: how did you get born again?

Through Hope FM, during Wambui Mburu’s show in 2007. I then rededicated my life to God in church in April 2008 at Ruaraka Baptist Church where I fellowship to-date. You know this verse about don’t be ashamed of the Lord or the father in Heaven will also be ashamed of you? That is the verse that made me step forward, with courage I walked to the front and the pastor’s wife held my hands as I gave my life to God. Life was even harder after that because I did not know what to give up about my life and what to carry on with. I prayed every time about everything because I was so scared of loosing my faith and most of all of being seen by other Christians as not being of faith.

With time, through the guidance of my bible study group, I got to start understanding how to walk in the Lord, I am still learning though. Each day I become a better person, and even when I fault in my steps, my conscience warns me. Most of all, being born again has really, really helped me in my marriage, its impossible to accept someone fully and unconditionally while yet forgiving and forgetting without God. God is amazing. Each day I learn something new about God.

Describe the three happiest moments of your life thus far?

The day I graduated with my Bachelors. My father came for my graduation and I hugged him. I don’t come from a hugging family and to me this was a great gesture of love from my father. Something I only remember doing when he visited me in school once in Form One.

The day I gave birth and held my son in my arms, looking into those big eyes and seeing God’s miracle and blessing. He was so delicate, so innocent, so sweet, I held him so close I slept with him and refused the nurses from taking him away from me. I wanted to watch him and I kept pulling his fingers so he could jerk so I [could] be sure he was breathing. I called him Zuriel (Hebrew for God is my rock).

The day I boarded a plane for the first time. I had told myself that 2007 would not end without me boarding a plane even if I was just going to Kisumu town. I had been saving for this adventure. Then came this peer educator’s training workshop I had to attend in Uganda and they booked us into flights. I called everyone at home and told them how excited I was, I even bought a new suitcase for boarding the flight. Funnily, when inside the plane, I didn’t feel any difference from being in a comfortable bus. I have since traveled by plane to Europe (Germany).

The day I got married, legally. I can remember saying my vows as I cried and laughed until I choked. My best maid, Salome, whispered to me “Zippy stop laughing, these vows are serious,” but I just couldn’t hold myself, I don’t know where all that flow of emotions came from. I was choking with laughter and my eyes were draining wet. Lol! I married the love of my life.

What about the three saddest moments?

Every time I part from my husband when he is going to be away for a long period of time like three months or more, I cry. Even though we communicate and talk everyday, I can’t help but cry.

The times when my father was hospitalized for severe coma for four months in 2001. He had suffered stroke, and his life was saved because of immediate alertness. He is now just being treated for hypertension and is so much alive and strong you would never know he was once in a severe coma. I praise God for his loving goodness.

The day my husband was hijacked by robbers. We were supposed to go to the clinic at 3pm and he had just called at 1.30pm to tell me he was on his way. I waited until 6pm and when tracking the car on the computer, I realized the car was in Mathare Valley. I couldn’t sleep. I called all the police I could and told them where the car was and they did not do a thing, they kept telling me there was no incident reported the whole evening and night. I couldn’t sleep, I cried and prayed all night, and in the morning I called a taxi friend and with the car track device we traced where he was and got him in the car blindfolded not knowing where he was. He was safe and not hurt at all but all the money he had was gone.

I know it’s God’s miracle for saving all the people in my life.

How did you meet your husband? What is it about him that made you decide to forsake all others?

He saw me on a magazine cover in 2004 and fell in love with ‘the girl on the magazine’. Lol. He kept the magazine and four months later, coincidentally his cousin, who was my former classmate, said he knew me. They struggled and got my number through a connection of other friends. One year later after much pestering from him I decided to go on a date with him and from there I can’t tell much, we are still together.

I think he was the most patient man I ever met because he asked me for a date persistently for a year without loosing hope. He is also very humble, hardworking, respects me as a person, and he encourages me to pursue greater heights. Most of all I believe he loves me and I love him.

What is the biggest risk you have ever taken, and did you regret it?

Travelling by taxi at night in August 2007 from Jinja Uganda to Busia Kenya border to meet my boyfriend, currently my husband. I was facilitating training on reproductive health and peer education in Uganda and my husband (then boyfriend) was due to leave Kenya in two days’ time to go to Germany where I would see him next in four months. I finished facilitating at 6pm, got to my hotel room, called a taxi and we reached Busia border at 10pm, we ate and talked all night and at 4am I crossed the border on foot and got into my Uganda taxi and was back to Jinja at 8am to facilitate the training.

I don’t regret it at all. My husband is the love of my life and I thank God everyday we are together.

What would you say if a young woman walked up to you just now and said, “Zippy, I want to sing!”

I would tell them to follow their heart. I would also tell them not to do it for fame but for the love of singing and I would ask them to think deeply of the message in their songs.

How about if someone said, “I want to quit school!”

Education is still important no matter what profession one is in or the fear of lack of jobs. Education gives one access to information, gives one confidence and positive self esteem.

What is your definition of a virtuous woman?

One who earns the respect of others by how she behaves and interacts, a role model to other women.

What is your favorite scripture, and why?

Philippians 2:14 “Do everything without complaining or arguing” (Good News Bible). As a woman I need this reminder constantly. It helps me have peace coz arguments may make us say hurtful words and it wastes time to complain instead of starting to work.

What big things should we look out for from Zippy?

Before I turn 45, I hope to be the first woman Professor of Theatre in Kenya, and then to be a UN ambassador and a member of the UN Secretariat in Africa.

I also hope to release more music albums with messages that will touch people’s lives.

Other dreams will be surprises to me and to everyone else. Sometimes, God’s plans are not our plans, he sees far ahead than we do.

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First woman professor of Theatre in Kenya, UN ambassador, member of the UN Secretariat… impossible? I think not! Let’s keep Zippy in our prayers, ladies!

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Photo credits

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Paula: Your latest album is amazing. Thanks for raising the standard among Christian artistes.
Lara: Thank you.

P: Five adjectives that describe Lara George?
L (laughs): I would say… fun-loving…

P: We can come back to that later, it always catches people unawares.
L: Yes, let’s come back to that later.

P: What is one thing about Lara that would surprise us?
L: Well… a lot of people see me and think that I am very soft. I am not as soft as people expect.

P: How did your upbringing influence your passion for music?
L: I grew up in Yaba in Lagos. I have five siblings. I grew up very sheltered, somewhat. What that did for me was it made me look inwards very early in life. Very early, I discovered songwriting and started exploring all kinds of musical styles. I started to write a lot, both music and poetry, prose sometimes. For me, that has gone on to help me to be really comfortable with music. Now music and songwriting are things I don’t even think about. It just comes naturally for me.

P: How did you feel the first time you heard yourself on the radio as a member of Kush? Was it any different when you heard your first solo single?
L: Well, it’s pretty much the same whether one is part of a group or whether one is a solo artiste. There are so many other artistes out there and I never take it for granted when I get airplay. I get very excited. It never stops amazing me.

P: You are an architect, musician, businesswoman, singer, wife, mother – with a number of awards to your name. Do you have any regrets?
L: None whatsoever (laughs). Absolutely none.

P: How do you balance it all?
L: To be honest, I still don’t know. I just take each day as it comes. I’m grateful to God because I still have a small family. My husband is very involved in the work that I do. I also work together with him in the business. I’d say that my life is extremely convenient and I feel extremely lucky because not many people have it the way that I do. I’m not saying that I have everything that I’d like to have, not yet… but so far I am grateful.

P: How do you handle the accolades?
L: The accolades are good. You know how it is – it’s always easier to dwell on the negatives than on the positives. So when I get the accolades, they actually help. I enjoy them like a drug (laughs). I get high on it. Every single time someone walks up to me and says “What God has done for me,” I can’t describe the level of encouragement that it gives me.

P: What would you say is the secret to your success?
L (laughs): I’m not sure that I would really describe myself as being successful yet. I feel like I’ve just started. I’ve had a lot of ups and downs. I haven’t even gotten back to where I was when I was with the group so in terms of feeling successful, I’m not sure that I quiiite feel that way yet. But I do believe that I’m on the right path; I think that I’m doing what I’m meant to do. I’m encouraged to keep on keeping on. The secret to where I am right now in life and the level of peace that I’m experiencing, it’s nothing but God. I know that that sounds very cliché but God has always existed from eternity to eternity so He will never stop being the reason for everything good that exists. I’m learning a lot of principles from God, because God operates by principles.

P: What do you hope to achieve through your music?
I want my music to get to the point where they become anthems worldwide; any time that people hear songs of hope and of encouragement, that they will think of Lara George. I would like for my music to be that reference point to getting back to God and being able to see life through God’s eyes. I want people to be able to say, “If you need God’s point of view on any topic at all, listen to Lara George.”

P: A couple of controversial questions. First of all the song ‘Run With You’ – a few people have been asking why you did a collaboration with a secular artiste [Lord of Ajasa.] You have explained it before but just for anyone who still does not know or doesn’t get it: why would you do a collabo with a secular artiste…
L:  I chose to do that collaboration with a secular artiste because I believe that with music just like with life, as you walk the walk, you don’t live your life as though you’re living in a bubble. Every day we interact with people of all kinds of faith. It doesn’t stop us from what we’re doing. If we’re working in the same organization and we have the same values and the same goals that we’re trying to achieve in that organization, we don’t push people away and say “Sorry, because you’re not a Christian you can’t work in this organization.” With music, if I write a song, and the purpose of that song is to turn people towards Christ, to make them see God’s point of view on a particular matter, and I say to a secular artiste, “Would you come on this song with me?” and he says “Yes,” and then in the song, he says stuff like, “E fe b’Olorun rin, iyen l’o matter,” which means “I want to walk with God, that’s what matters,” and he literally speaks God’s words in that song, does it make him a bad person? That is the question that I have to ask people.

When people are so quick to judge, I don’t understand. Does it ever occur to anyone that we’re all Gentiles, and God has clearly given us favour and allowed us to become a part of the body of Christ, before now it was only the Israelites that had permission to even access God like that. Are you saying that [a secular artiste] can never come to Christ? Are you saying that there is nothing that can ever bring that person to Christ? I’m sorry but I don’t agree. I’m not going to  comrpomise on my values and my ideals. But if I go to a secular artiste and say “Would you promote God’s values with me” and that person agrees, then why not?

P: …and how would you explain the fact that you are a fan of people like Béyoncé and Lady Gaga whose music does not promote a godly message?
L: The Bible says “Let he who thinks that he stands take heed lest he falls.” It’s very, very easy to point fingers at other people whereas the truth is many people who are doing the finger-pointing are nowhere near living their lives according to God’s standards. The Beyonce’s and the Lady Gagas and all those other people… there is something to learn from every one of them. They are highly successful artistes and they have business models that are extremely successful. I do humble myself to know that there is something to learn from every person. Our professors in school are not all born again, but we sit under their teaching, don’t we? People who are Christians have a way of isolating themselves from everything that is going on around them. I’m not of that school of thought.

I believe that we’re in the world but we’re not of the world, and I believe that every one of us who is a Christian has the responsibility to uphold Christ in what we do. But Christ did not say we should live our lives alone. Our responsibility is to make sure that we are the light in the world. You can’t be the light when you’re hiding yourself under your bed because you don’t want to relate with anybody and you don’t want to find out what’s going on in the world around you, you don’t want to talk to secular artistes – your life is never going to impact anybody else. That’s what I believe.

P: Where do you get the inspiration for your songs, are they mainly about your experiences?
L: Well, different things. Sometimes it’s just something that I feel that God has been impressing on my heart. I’ll give you an example. When I wrote O Ti Se, that was a song that I literally woke up in the middle of the night to write. I was dreaming and I heard that song in my dream, and  I had to wake up and put the song down before I forgot it. Some happen to me like that. I really struggled with putting that song on my album. I thought, “People are going to think I’ve been hanging out with herbalists and all kinds of people.” I still don’t know why, but for me to have heard the song in a dream like that, had to be from God. Sometimes it’s just from personal experience. I write songs about love, the Nigerian situation – i’ve just recently written a new song, a new single that will be on the new packaging of the current album. It comes in many different ways.

P: ‘The Nigerian situation’  - that reminds me of the song I Am Glad. A lot of artistes, a lot of African musicians usually move to the US or other countries in the west as soon as they decide they want to grow. Have you ever contemplated relocation or are you okay in Nigeria?
L (laughs): I consider relocating all the time! The grass always looks greener on the other side. I love the life that I’m living, like I said. I think I’m very, very blessed with my life. What makes me uncomfortable about the Nigerian situation is the insecurity of life, there’s poverty, there’s a high rate of robbery, we don’t have the kind of infrastructure that helps make life comfortable even for the average time. I wish that I could be in Nigeria and be in an environment where things work so that I don’t have to buy a ticket every time I really need a rest. Those are just the things that make me consider relocating but every time I think about it the thought jumps right out of my head because I want to stay in Nigeria, I want to be part of the new Nigeria, I want to be part of all of the new growth that is going on at home. Nigeria is a country with amazing possibilities and I just want to be there while it’s happening, so I’m not planning to go anywhere.

P: You and your husband are amazing. How do you manage to balance marriage and business?
L: That is an everyday prayer. It’s not very easy, but when it is good, it is beautiful. I strongly believe that for a husband and wife to work together is God’s original plan for man’s existence. In the first place, why was woman created? When God saw Adam, He said “It is not good for man to be alone,” but nowadays we find a lot of men who are married, the wives don’t know anything about what they do, their wives have no idea how much they earn, their wives have no clue about anything about them. I don’t see that as an ideal situation. A man should let down his guard and allow his wife into his personal space. That is what marriage is meant to be. Adam and Eve were meant to work together in the Garden of Eden.

I’m having a great time, for me to wake up in the morning and know that I’m going to work with my husband, this is the only situation where it’s fantastic to be able to say “I’m sleeping with my boss!” (laughs heartily.) Something deep down inside of me tells me that that’s the way it’s supposed to be and I’m telling you, it is fantastic. It is a lot of fun.

P: Do you ever get tired of each other?
L: (laughs) Oh, it happens, it happens… a lot of time people marvel at my husband and ask how he can share an office with his wife. But my husband is a different kind of guy. There are times when just being with each other all the time can become a bit of a strain, but that’s just how it is with every relationship. Some men don’t even need to work with their wives before they get tired of them. The thing is, like any two human beings, we have our differences and we are constantly having to go back to God. Sometimes – I have to be very honest here – sometimes it gets really, really hot; not funny at all. But the beautiful thing is that somehow we always find a way to overcome our differences and come back together again and when we do come back together again it’s a million times better than before. It’s great.

P: When you get home, do you leave work at work – when you go to work do you leave home issues at home or does it all mingle together?
L: It’s all mingled together. Sometimes we argue about that, because sometimes as a woman I just want that us-time. Sometimes I don’t even want to talk about work… but we work for ourselves and the pressure is on constantly, to make sure that the business succeeds so we’re kind of working round the clock, weekends, all the time. Sometimes we go out and we’re supposed to be hanging out but it becomes a business meeting. But because we’re in an industry that we love, it’s very easy and almost as though we’re having fun – except for a few times when we’ve missed out on personal time or when there are really pressing issues that we need to sort out as husband and wife, most of the time I’m just happy to flow along and enjoy working out everything concerning the home and the business together with my husband.

P: What about friends?
L: Lagos is an extremely busy place to live in. It can be hard but my husband and I love to take time out and enjoy ourselves, so we try to create bonding time – invite our friends and their children and all go out to a spot where the family can hang out together, and we just have a great time. We seize every opportunity that we can – birthdays, naming ceremonies, weddings…

P: Are you always this bubbly? Do you ever get angry?
L (laughs): Here’s another adjective. I’m extreme. I’m intense. When I’m happy, I’m over the moon. When I’m sad, I’m down in the dumps. I once had an encounter at the airport and people were trying to jump the queue and there were three of us woman who just got angry and formed a barricade and insisted that everybody get on the line. And one woman was shouting “Repent!” (laughs) “This is Nigeria, get on the queue!” I do get very, very passionate about whatever it is that I believe in. The only thing that I would say is many times I try to make sure that whatever it is I’m passionate about is what God would do if He was in flesh and in the same situation. I try to make sure that I’m never the one on the airing side. I want that if anybody sees me in that scenario, they can say “It’s okay to be that way.” No, I’m not always happy and excited and bubbly. In fact, many times, I’m just more introverted and quiet. I sound bubbly because you sound bubbly.

P: What is the most-important thing you think every woman should know?
L: We women hold the key.

P: To what?
L: To everything. If you’re married, and you’re a wife, you hold the key to your husband’s heart, and therefore you hold the key to your home. If you’re a mother, you have children, you hold the key to your children’s lives, and therefore you hold the key to the future of your nation and eventually the world. If you are a single woman working a job or just building a business in one career or another, you hold the key to changing the entire landscape. God has a way of keeping checks and balances in place in life. He puts the man on top and tells him that he is in charge, but the woman who appears to be just like one step beside the man is the one who really holds that power. Because she wields so much authority, I think God places the man at the helm, just to keep us women in check, because women can go haywire (laughs). Women, we hold the key.

P: You said something about the single woman. What would you say to the single ladies who say that there are no men left, or no men like your husband who you say is different?
L: There’s no perfect man out there. In my interviews I try to be as honest as possible because I don’t want people who read my interviews to be misled and think I’m living some kind of Cinderella type life. My husband and I, when we have issues, those issues can be major – marriage-threatening type issues. But everything that we pass through in life builds character in us. When you meet a man, it is important that you be able to see into the future and see who that man will be, because often times God does not give to us the full picture of what we ask for. We say “I’m looking for a gorgeous man, tall, handsome,” – God is probably going to bring us a not-so-great-looking guy – with a great future! So it’s up to us women to be able to see that tomorrow, and to be able to see that “this guy will become who I would like him to be or very close to that image.” There is no perfect man out there, just like even women are not perfect ourselves. I would say to them, while you’re single, enjoy your singleness.  It’s not going to last much longer and when that right guy comes, you will know in your heart. There is that special somebody out there. Don’t settle for less just because you’re afraid for tomorrow. God is going to bring you your own man and He will do it sooner than you think.

P: So! You said you’re fun-loving, and you’ve also said you’re extreme/intense. Give us three more adjectives that describe Lara.
L: Fun-loving, intense, a little bit enigmatic – I find that most people have a hard time understanding me. Extremely happy. Detailed.

P: Detailed. So you like to analyze things, to make sure they are done as they should be done…
L: Yes. I’m extremely detailed, almost to a fault.

P (a little cheekily): Does that mean you’re a bit of a perfectionist?
L: I am very, very, very perfectionist (laughs).

=

End.

Explains the quality that we see in her albums, doesn’t it, ladies? Let’s continue to keep Lara George in our prayers.

*Image credits: Lara George

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Inspiring Us At Home

Inspiring Us Away From Home

Media: Bridgitte Tetteh – Ghana/UK

Submitted by: Correen da Silva

“Before I changed jobs I listened to Premier Drive on Premier Christian Radio with Bridgitte Tetteh and Dave Rose. I appreciate her because she makes Africa, specifically Ghana proud whilst working in a Christian field. She is a humanitarian and passionate about issues that affect women and she also supports upcoming musicians. For this reason I am inspired by her.”

Yakuti Link Pick: Bridgitte Tetteh’s page on Premier Christian TV

Yakuti Video Pick: Bridgitte Interviews a lady on dating. Between this and the Desmond Tutu interview, of course we were going to pick something about dating!

Music: Tselot Seyoum (Tselot Siyum; Selot Siyoum; Selot Siyum) – Ethiopia/US

Submitted by: Seble Mengistu

“The first time I saw Tselot Seyoum was at an Ethiopia Evangelical Church event. I looked for her on the internet because I knew that she was a worshipper. I feel that every time when I am low this music can lift me and help me in worshipping God. I don’t say that I know much about her but she been an impact in my life with her voice.”

Yakuti Video Pick: (We have no idea what she’s saying but we can tell it’s worship!)

YAKUTI PICK: Brigitte Kitenge – Rwanda/US

Submitted by: Pétite

“I discovered Brigitte Kitenge on YouTube one April a few years ago as I was thinking about the Rwanda Genocide of 1994. I watched her story and was amazed that she had such huge reserves of forgiveness within her. Reading about her really got me thinking about forgiveness, peace, and the restoration that God can bring, no matter the impact of hatred people pour out. God is always there for us. I came to find out that Brigitte is the founding president of African Global Mission and the president of Future Hope for Women International. She inspires me because she leaned on God for strength to keep moving on with her life.”

Yakuti Video Pick: Brigitte’s story.

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Vivian has been a writer for as long as she can remember. Her first book was written and stitched together when she was seven years old. By the time she was in middle school, she was writing articles for local newspapers. “I’ve always loved writing, it’s the best way I express myself,” she informs me.

The title of her book, My Virginity Is Ruining My Sex Life, came about when she was hanging out with her cousin and friends in Florida. “We were having a conversation about virginity, men, the whole issue about sex, should we wait, stuff like that. One of the ladies, was so upset because some guy had broken up with her, and she said ‘My virginity is ruining my sex life!!!’ That was actually how the title came.” Vivian asked the lady to repeat that statement and told everyone that she would write a book with that title. Nobody believed her at the time but she wrote it down and there was no turning back from that point on.

Vivian believes virginity is about more than just sex, and this is one thing she talks about in her book.

“The book also talks about how the only way you can actually save yourself [for marriage] is through God,” she explains. “Virginity involves a lot more than actual sex. A lot of people say ‘I’m saving myself,’ but they do other things. They masturbate, they touch, they do a lot more than a Christian should do – my question is, are you still a virgin if you’re doing all these things? The Bible says if you look at a woman lustfully you’ve committed adultery in your heart. Purity should come from the inside out, it’s really not about the actual act of sex. Spending time thinking about sex or doing things that you are not suppose to do – I think that is the true essence of being a virgin or not.”

Virginity, in Vivian’s view, is “being completely pure. A virgin to me is someone that is keeping themselves pure from whatever type of sin. Is that possible? Yes. Is it hard? Yes. It’s about purity. Holiness. It’s about living a holy life. If you’re living a holy life, you’re trying to do everything to please God.”

Although Vivian enjoys marriage, she is adamant that the single years are a wonderful opportunity to pursue holiness and is convinced they lay a foundation, whether strong or weak, for marriage. “The way you treat God is the same way that you will treat your husband,” she says, in a motherly tone. “Jesus is the Lover of our souls. When you’re single, you’re supposed to focus your attention on Him, not rushing to get married. He is the one who will teach you how to treat your husband. Focus your attention on Christ and let Him teach you so that when you meet that man, you will know how to treat him. Do you respect Christ?”

She pauses and shifts slightly: “Some people choose to be single but I think a lot of people desire to get married.”

If we should pursue holiness when we are single, then where does the desire for marriage come from? “The desire to get married is from God, definitely. The church is the bride of Christ. It’s a beautiful thing. [And] marriage is a beautiful thing. But at thirty-one, or at thirty-five, or at forty, you begin to lose hope. I believe that there is a time and season for everything. Open yourself to God to bring the right person. God may have something completely different frm what you think you want. The Bible says that His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways. Some people are still single because they said ‘Oh, he’s too short, he’s not rich enough,’ and they keep waiting and waiting for the knight in shining armour that never comes. When Jesus came, people expected a prince riding on a horse with an army, but He was a normal person. Don’t be picky. Open your heart to God. Just pray but don’t be bitter about it because God has a time for everything.”

Sometimes we meet great guys who are everything we dreamed of except for that one superficial dealbreaker – tribe, height, wealth or rather the lack thereof. Prayer at such times usually involves beseeching God to let the man see that he cannot be the one for us. Ladies are often confused in such situations and have no idea what to do. Vivian gives her take: “If you pray, you’re going to pray him out of your life. What I tell people is just be a bit more be open-minded. If he approaches you and is interested in you, give him a chance. Talk to him. Maybe go grab a cup of coffee with him. Sometimes we focus too much on how a person looks or his tribe – tribalism is from the devil. We can have preferences but I think tribalism is from the devil. Give the man a chance. Find out more about him. There are some amazing short men. What if you marry a tall guy, and he beats you up, emotionally abuses you, or he is not good in bed? What if you marry this short guy, and he’s an amazing provider, and he is an amazing father to your children, he loves you, you trust him and you are at peace in the home? I’ve dated tall guys that I thought were men of God and it was horrible. Horrible, horrible, horrible. If someone comes and you think it’s not the right person because of their physical attributes, or because they don’t talk right or don’t know how to use chopsticks, or you speak two different languages but they can’t speak French, or they’re not tall or they don’t dress too well – so what? Give him a chance. I’m not saying if they’re not saved. That, you can’t change. That’s not what I’m talking about.”

Although Vivian’s virginity did not ruin her sex life, and although she maintained it well into her twenties, during a dark period of her life she fell into fornication, something that she regrets but does not allow to get her down. This period, when she was what she defines as “lost”, was the darkest moment of her life. “Sometimes as Christians we feel like we have that out-of-body experience, there are words coming out of our mouths [that we never thought we would say, and we are] doing things that we never thought in a million years we would do. [This period was] me being completely and knowingly outside of the will of God; me being completely opposite what Vivian is. To me, Vivian stands for something and Vivian has this standard and principles and ideals. Vivian is a chosen vessel. Before I was born God knew me and ordained me. Not being that, and to portray myself as something completely different from who I know… to act just like everybody else, I think that was the darkest moment of my life. I’m just recovering from that. I got lost and I didn’t know how to get myself back. There was some regret, of course. I’m definitely happy that I found my way back.”

The fact that she held on for as long as she did is enough to convince her – and probably anyone – that it is possible to remain a virgin until marriage. Being a virgin had become a source of pride for her, something that allowed her to take confidence in her flesh and in her own abilities. Breaking her virginity before she was married put a damper in her spiritual walk, but she did not allow it to break her spirit. She finally decided to move on and forget the past because she realized she could do nothing to turn back time. Learning to forgive herself was one of the best things she ever did. “It’s the most-amazing feeling. Just letting everything go like it never happened before. You have this peace that is just amazing. The day I was able to finally do that completely… I’m not entangled by my past.”

But the top three happiest moments of her life were when she had her son, when she got married and the day she went home to Nigeria after thirteen years.

We shift gears to marriage. She has many wonderful things to say about her husband, and I try my best to get a sneak-peek of her married life. Vivian enjoys being a wife. “It’s fantastic!” she says elatedly. “You can pour your heart out to this person. He is someone I can confide in.”

However, we must also remember to be humble and wise: “The key is remembering to have a humble heart. Putting God first in the home. God being the head of the husband, the husband being the priest. Be patient with each other, nobody is perfect. Women need to be understanding and encouraging. Stand by your man, when he has, and when he doesn’t. When God blesses him, he knows that his wife is a humble woman. Be supportive. Men have feelings too. They need love too. Don’t expect too much. Don’t compare him to your father or to other men outside. Do not share your problems with other people. Whatever is between you and your husband, keep it between you and your husband. Some of these friends don’t have good intentions. You have to be careful. Even the good things! Don’t tell people how good your husband is in bed, or what he does or what he bought you – you’re inviting the devil into your home. Just leave it at ‘My husbnd is an amazing guy.’ Don’t go into details. People are envious, they want what you have.”

Even when people do not feel like loving each other, or when there is no money, divorce is a no-no. “If love is over then it was never there to begin with. There are different levels of love. It changes, but it’s still love. If there was money at before that means there can be money again. If a woman complains about this then they didn’t really love the person. If you love this person, you’ll be there. If a man loves a girl because she has big breasts or she’s really skinny and has hourglass shape, she has a baby and she loses that shape, then what happens?”

She knows about love, because her husband has taught her how to forgive and how to grow in love. “I’ve learnt how to be more quiet and to try to think more [instead of] just speaking all the time. I speak my mind but I do it in a more quiet way. He’s a really quiet person. He’s a really private person. I’ve learnt so much about forgiveness. I expected love to come in a certain way, to come in some kind of package but he taught me love in a different way and stripped me of all these ideas I had of how love should be and how it should feel like. He taught me how to love in a different way.”

Because of her busy schedule and the fact that she has a young son, Vivian’s radio show has taken a back seat. However, she is seeking God about it and it should be back soon. She is working on another book; a play, The Shackles Off My Soul; and a movie called The Marriage Pact. She is trying to get into the media aspect of her ministry in relationships and marriage.

Vivian believes virtue is possible and offers final thoughts to every young woman out there: “Any relationship that doesn’t make you a better person, is not the right relationship. Any relationship that puts you down is not the right relationship. Any relationship that makes you feel less of yourself or less of a person is not the right relationship. If you want to know what the right relationship is, look at God and the way He treats us. When you want to find out what love is, look in the Bible and see how God loves us. That’s what love is. It’s not about the butterflies or the flowers. It’s a relationship. Get closer to God. God will enable you to lead a virtuous life. If you’re single and waiting for that person, don’t rush into it. Pray to God to lead you and put you in the right place because He will fulfill the desires of your heart when it comes to marriage and God will bring the right person. In the meantime just focus on Him because that’s all we need.”

Let’s keep Vivian in our prayers, ladies!

Grab a copy of My Virginity is Ruining My Sex Life by clicking here.

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I could tell you about her academic qualifications – and, as you will see, they are many. We could talk about her beauty – she has that in abundance. Her ministry is powerful. We could go on for days about such things, but I would like to share with you the one thing that stands out the most for me when it comes to Emily Mutea, and that is that she is a prayer warrior and has a passion for encouraging people to build on their personal relationship with Jesus Christ through intimate and continued communication with Him.This month, we discover that prayer is the lifeline for every virtuous woman.

Image: Emily at her ACCA graduation dinner

ON EMILY – THE BASICS.

Childhood:

 Troublesome Tomboy.

I come from a family of 2 parents, mom and dad and 3 wonderful brothers. My family both nuclear and extended is male dominated so I have grown up with boys. That has had implications. With boys there is always a fight for something, whether its food, or time in the bathroom, et cetera. My childhood was so much fun. I grew up in an estate in Nairobi and had more friends than I could count. I was a very playful child, I got in to trouble a lot and I loved it. I made friends easily and I had many friends. From what I can remember I spent most of my childhood playing!

My dad worked out of the country a lot so my eldest brother, Eric, took to being the “man of the house”. I hated him for it, at the time. Looking back, [I now see] he did a good job of protecting me. My teen years must have been the worst years of his life! I was curious, adventurous and downright rebellious! Trouble was my middle name. I had my first alcoholic drink when I was 15. In high school I preferred to spend time playing basketball and practicing for drama festivals than to read. I even got suspended from school once for leading a school strike. It was that bad!

Education:

“Striving to Excel.”

I attended Primary School at Lavington Primary, where I met [Yakuti's] editor Paula, who is now a dear friend to me. I then went to Moi Girls Nairobi High school were I completed my “O” levels. I was disappointed with my mean grade after high school; I regretted having wasted so much time and not taking my studies seriously. So I promised myself that I would take my academics seriously in future and make up for lost time by excelling.

In 2004 I enrolled for an accounting course at Strathmore University. I completed my Association of Certified Chartered Accountant (ACCA) certificate in 2006. While pursuing my ACCA at Strathmore, I got the opportunity to do a degree by distance learning with Oxford Brookes University in the UK. I took the opportunity and graduated in 2008 with a Bachelor of Science in Applied Accounting. In 2006, while winding up my ACCA I began my Bachelor of Commerce degree at the University of Nairobi, and graduated in 2009.

Work:

Which race counts?

Beginning the year 2008, I worked for an accounting consultancy firm. I did this full time while studying for my degree part time. Consultancy is very exciting. I got to do interesting accounting work for a variety of clients. In my first year on the job I handled three assignments for East African Breweries, the leading brewer in East and Central Africa. The assignments revolved around performing inventory checks on the companies’ assets. I was a team lead and the work was quite involving but I was enjoying the experience and exposure too much to care. However, I must admit, it was a challenge balancing work and school. In my second year of working I was a team lead in accounting outsource assignments. This involved managing the accounting and finance departments of clients who had outsourced their accounting services to our firm. I also performed the task of preparing financial statements for external audit for different clients. By the time my second year was coming to a close, I had handled about six clients. It was an amazing time, a steep learning curve and yet a great learning experience. My job has been a blessing from the Lord in many ways. Through it He has affirmed me and proved to me that His favour is real.

My work experience was enriched by my two directors, Mr, Ndegwa and Mr. Wambua who supported me and gave me the opportunity to grow. They taught me all I know about the profession, supervision and other work related issues. I honestly feel very blessed to have started out with them.

Come my third working year, which is this year, I began to feel tired and weary both physically and mentally. On reflecting on my life, I realized that ninety-nine percent of my life was being spent on my career and that I felt imbalanced. Worse still, my life was moving so fast, I couldn’t hear that Still, Small Voice that had always guided me. I wasn’t sure what the Lord wanted of me regarding my career and its place in his overall purpose for my life. It was time to slow down, rest and listen. So last month I resigned and in the next few months I plan to rest and listen to Lord.

ON EMILY – A LITTLE MORE PERSONAL.

How did you come to know the Lord?

Growing up in Ngummo estate, we had a weekly Bible study that we attended as children. Our Bible study leader was a man of the Lord called Jeff Mbaka. He taught the Bible to us at a young age, together with a mom to one of my friends whom we called “Mama Karanja.” The Bible studies were hosted at Mama Karanja’s home. We sang songs, we read the Bible and we prayed. As a child, I did not understand the importance of this. But I really enjoyed the time. Every year we would attend Daily Vacation Bible School – a one week Nairobi Pentecostal Church program to the children’s ministry. For one week we would learn songs, read the Bible, memorize scripture and pray and have lots of fun with our friends. When I was 11 years old, during an Easter Vacation Bible School session lead by a Pastor called Pastor White, an alter call was given and it was then that I accepted Christ into my life. Later in my teenage years, I rebelled against the Lord. My heart was like the thorny ground, in the parable of the sower. The word of God was choked by my desire to have fun and to be in control of my life. After I left high school, I felt desperate for the Lord. I felt if I did not rededicate life to Christ, I was headed for doom. I rededicated my life to Christ and joined the fellowship of the Navigators. In the course of our extensive Bible study, this is when I really began to know the Lord.

What one memory makes you want to jump up and down with praise, and why?

I thank God because I have so many such memories. The most recent that comes to mind is when my prayer partner and best friend, Lin was invited for an Internship at the International Criminal Court at The Hague. I remember when she called to tell me that she had gotten the word, I was in a movie theater and I had to stifle my screams of joy. So immediately the movie was done I rushed out of the movie theater and called her and screamt my lungs out! It was an answer to prayer . An answer exceedingly, abundantly more than we could ever have asked or imagined! Her passion is Human Rights. Her calling is noble, justice and being a voice to the voiceless. For a long time we had prayed for her future and her career and that the Lord would bring opportunities to nurture her passion. We had celebrated many successes in this regard, but we had reached a point of uncertainty, we weren’t hearing the Lord’s leading in this area any more. And so many doors of opportunity had been closed. We felt like God had forgotten our prayers. With this internship to The Hague, with this Miracle, the Lord showed us that he remembers our prayers. His promises are true!

*Image: Emily (center) with close friends at her graduation party*

How has God changed you since you became born again?

Wow! I could write a book on this one! I plan to, but not here on Yakuti I am a new creation in every sense of the word. My value system is different, my priorities are different, I have a deep and growing compassion for people especially for their salvation. My ultimate source of security, confidence and beauty is that Jesus Christ died for me! The gospel has a transforming power and I am evidence of that.

Before I re-dedicated my life to Christ six years ago, I used to take pride in my abilities, particularly my intellect. I also valued my popularity which came easy. My potential to achieve was at the core of my identity and I lived to make people around me proud.

After Christ, Christ is the centre of my life. He is the only one I seek to please. My greatest joy and fulfillment come from serving. In the last six years, I have served and continue to serve through prayer, bible study and mentoring teenagers. God has loved me to a point where I can say that if I had nothing, no papers, no family, no friends, no hair and I had Jesus Christ in my life, I would have more than my share of blessing!

ON WOMANHOOD.

How can a woman maximize her potential? What is a woman’s potential, anyway?

My favourite lady character in the bible is Deborah, the Judge. One of the challenges that I have had as a young woman is thinking, I cannot have it all. I cannot have a successful career, family, ministry, et cetera, all at once. When I was 20 I attended a lady’s fellowship and heard the story of Deborah. Deborah was a judge, a prophetess, a wife, a mother all in one. And by the look of her story, she was having it all. She was balancing all her roles, responsibilities, gifts, talents and above all to the glory of the Lord. Deborah in my view is a woman who had maximized her potential.

I believe that a life well lived is a balanced life, a life that incorporates service and sharing of ones life with others in love. As women we are blessed with the powerful role of bringing forth life, in birth. This role is sheer divine! To be a mother is to take part in creation. Today, society tells us that we must chose between motherhood and career. Not True. Not for Deborah. Not for you and me. We are the children of God, we can have it all!

How can a woman guard her heart?

By guarding her senses. Remember the song we used to sing in Sunday school? “Be careful little eyes what you see, be careful little eyes what you see, for your father up above is looking down below so be careful little eyes what you see.”

Guarding our hearts means, committing to righteous[ness], that sin may not take a strong hold in our lives. Job demonstrated an understanding of this when he said, I have vowed with my eyes not to look lustfully at a woman. He was guarding what he saw (one of the senses) so as to guard His heart against the sin of lust.

*Image: Emily (center) leading a Bible study at Moi Girls’ School Nairobi.

What we take in, what we see, what we hear, where we go and generally the experiences we expose ourselves to are what contribute to who we become and in this case to whether we sin or not. Sin is conceptualized in the mind before it is manifested in the physical. So by guarding the gate ways to our mind, we guard our minds and ultimately our hearts.

And this is true for all Christians both men and women.

What do you think is the biggest threat to womanhood today?

An identity crisis. We don’t not know who we are and yet every body wants to brand us with one identity or the other. The media brands us as sex symbols, the traditionalist male – especially in African society – brands us as purely a domestic care taker. And society in its truest form has termed us “the weaker sex” who should know better than to get involved in the affairs of men. This is expressed by oppressive laws, mostly cultural, on women as well as structures in our public and corporate sectors that have made it difficult for women to penetrate to strategic decision making positions. Sex is increasingly being used as a medium to sell almost anything and we as women are the symbols of that medium.

Why is all this a threat? In regards to the exaltation of sex, some of our precious girls grow with the misconception that there greatest worth is in between their legs (forgive the harsh tone). These girls disregard the discovery and development of their gifts, talents and abilities and use sex to get what they want in life. The result is a sinful society, a lost generation.

In reference to societal oppression of women, when women experience an oppressive system, they rebel against their deemed oppressors; men. This leads to broken homes, women who have been hardened so much that there demeanor has turned from a feminine one to a masculine one. They do this to defend themselves. The mentality being that if femininity is a weakness, well then lets be more masculine to get what is rightfully ours.

How can this threat be overcome?

There is only one solution, an intimate relationship with the Lord. Our true identity is in Christ. The Lord created us and so He knows us best and any definition and affirmation of who we are should only come from Him. We can only experience this divine identity if we have accepted Christ and are relating closely with Him. We can only truly “find ourselves” in Christ. Jesus said “I am the way the truth and the life…”. Remember Mary the former prostitute who washed Jesus feet with the perfume in her alabaster box? Mary had been given a new identity by Jesus and she rewarded Him with a precious gift.

There is hope that even in an oppressive system, we as women can know who we are in the Lord and live to our full potential. I love the story of Deborah (Judges 4); she was a woman in a patriarchal society yet she judged over Israel for 40 years. While doing so, she was balancing the role of wife and mother. We can have it all, my dear sisters, all we need to do is to know God and to trust in him.

ON PRAYER.

What is prayer?

Prayer is simply conversation with God.

What does prayer do for us?

Generally, it allows us to express ourselves before the Lord. In the same way that conversing with a friend does. Prayer is not a one sided activity, as we speak the Lord listens and he responds to us through His word. The focus in prayer is therefore not “us” but our relationship with the Lord.

Who taught you how to pray?

The Lord taught me how to pray. Let me explain. In relating with Lord in his word I have come to appreciate the sufficiency of scripture for all of life, both our spiritual life and our physical life. 2 Timothy 3:16, All Scripture is God Breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness. Prayer according to Matthew 6 is an act of righteousness. I sought a deeper understanding of prayer a few years ago and it was through the word of God that the I learnt how to pray.I studied the Bible on the teachings on prayer as well as the prayer lives of men and women of God such as Moses, Deborah, Daniel etc.

*Image: Emily in Uganda

How can people have their own personal bedroom worship? How does it start – are there any steps to follow?

I am glad that we live in the era of grace, where we can access God anytime and anywhere! Personal worship is possible; there are no hard and first rules about how to go about it. However I feel that I must mention that worship must include in take of the word of God. In take doesn’t mean only reading, it could be studying, memorizing or meditating on the word of God. Our focus in worship must be God, and the bible is the form that the Lord takes on this side of heaven.

What would you say to someone who doesn’t feel like God is real to them; someone who knows God exists and loves her but cannot connect to Him in a personal, relational way? How can God become real to us?

God became real to me when I began to commit to my relationship with Him, when I became deliberate about knowing Him. I did this by setting aside time to listen to Him in his word, talking to Him in prayer and sharing about him in fellowship and witnessing. The bible says that He the Lord desires for us to seek him and He says that if we do so we will find Him. (Acts 17:27.)

God sees your desire to connect to Him , the bible says that He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it Phil 1:6. The desire to connect to Him is a desire that He puts in us and He has given us the Holy Spirit to work out that connection. So don’t sweat it, just make time, read your bible and pray every day and the Lord will make himself know to you.

What is the best way to touch the heart of God?

Let me share something that I learnt about God’s love language. We all speak and respond to different love languages for some its gifts, for others its touch, for others its words of affirmation. For God it is obedience. “John 14: 21 Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my father and I too will love Him and show myself to him” I remember praying, Lord I know that you love me but I am not sure that I love you the way you want me to, teach me how to and then I got this word. Our greatest demonstration of love for our God is by obedience!

How can we pray powerful prayers that influence big miracles? Is there a formula to powerful prayer?

One of my favourite prayer scripture is James 5:17-18. Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops. Hallelujah! Elijah was a man just like us! How can we pray powerful prayers? By just praying!

What are your thoughts on fasting? Is it necessary? Is it just for aselect few? Who should fast, and when?

Fasting like prayer is communication with God. The difference is that fasting is non-verbal communication, like holding Gods hand. I think it is necessary; it communicates our devotion to the Lord above our comfort and pleasures. Fasting like prayer is for all who are in a relationship with the Lord. Mathew 6: 16-18 touches on fasting. It does not mention when to fast, so I guess that detail is left to our discretion. It however elaborates on how. That in fasting, we must conduct ourselves in humility.

How about tongues?

Speaking in tongues is a spiritual gift. 1 Corinthians 12:4 [tells us] there are different kinds of gifts but the same spirit. Verse 10, [says] to another speaking in different kinds of tongues. The scripture from verse 7-10 gives examples of different spiritual gifts. It speaks of gift of healing, gift of miraculous powers, gift of prophesy, gift of distinguishing between spirits and then the gift of speaking in tongues. We all have varied spiritual gifts. Speaking in tongues is just one of them.

Aside from the prayer for salvation, what is the most important prayer a
woman can say in her life?

I believe in times and seasons and that the Lord has given us the dimension of time that we may live purposeful lives. As women we go through various seasons – singlehood, marriage, motherhood etc. Different prayers will be essential for different seasons.

As a young unmarried woman, this is my most important prayer. 1 Corinthians 7:34

An unmarried woman or virgin us concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and Spirit.

Heavenly father I desire to be devoted to you entirely in this season of my life, show me how. Amen

The Bible says we should leave our gifts at the altar and reconcile with those who have offended us before we go to God in prayer. What does this mean?

It means that one of the prerequisites for answered prayer is forgiveness of those who have wronged us.

Why do some prayers seem to go unanswered?

When we pray, we pray with expectation of a particular outcome. Usually we expect a “Yes” answer. But we must learn that sometimes the Lord says “No” or “Wait”. Sometimes He answers the prayer in a different way from how we expected Him to.

We should pray for wisdom and insight that the Lord may open our eyes that we may “see” or perceive things the way he wants us to.

One of the interviewees shared about asking God for something just once. Is it wrong to ask God for a job today, and to repeat the prayer tomorrow and the day after?

Not at all!! Remember the parable of the persistent widow in Luke 18?

This is one of Jesus’ teaching on prayer, that we persist! In fact the bible says Like 18:1 Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. Keep on praying!!

At what point should we stop praying/give up on praying about a particular thing, if we do not see the answer we desire, yet our prayer is Biblical?

Firstly, what do we mean when we say that prayer is Biblical? The promises of God, including the promise of answered prayer, come with conditions attached to them. These conditions are the prerequisites to answered prayer. Lets look through a few.

Prayer must be in line with the will of God. 1John 5:14-15, “ This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask we know that we have what we asked of Him.

We exercise Faith in prayer. Matthew 21:22, “If you believe you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer”

We must not be blatantly living in sin and disregarding the Lord-Psalm 66:18-If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened

We must ask with the right motive. James 4:3, you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on you pleasures

Husbands ought to be living right with their wives. 1 Pet 3:7, “Husbands in the same way, be considerate as you live with you wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers”

Secondly, the answer that we desire may not be in line with Gods good pleasing and perfect plan for our lives. We should follow the classic example of the Jesus Christ and submit our will to the Lord. Remember Jesus at the garden of Gethsemane (Luke 22:42)?, his desire was to live and to for go crucifixion but He submitted his will to the Lord.

Thirdly and lastly, at no point should we stop praying that is what the bible says.

1 Thessalonians 5: 17 [says] Pray continually.

How does God speak to us?

Primarily through the word of God: the Bible. John 1:1 – in the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God. The bible is God in black and white. God desires that we seek after Him and know him so he equipped us with his word which would reveal himself to us in a way that we could understand. It breaks my heart that in our rushed generation we have little if any time to spend in the word. We have increasingly delegated the in take of the word to the pastors. This is not the way that Lord intended it. With the inception of the The age of grace the Lord’s desire was that we would experience an intimate personal walk with him. One might ask, why? Isnt the Bible the same for all of us? Yes, the Bible is universal , but we are unique and the Lord who created us knows this and so He speaks to us individually in a way that ministers to our individual reality.

As our walk with the Lord grows, as we begin to interact with Him in an intimate way, He could speak to us in other ways e.g. through dreams.

God knows all things. So why pray specifically?

As an act of obedience. Because repeatedly in the word of God, God calls us to relate to Him in prayer. Our prayer is a sweet melody to His ears.

Also, there are different reasons why we pray. Aside from asking God for stuff, we pray to experience the presence of God.

Why pray every day, why can’t a person just say one prayer today for everysituation and circumstance for the rest of their lives?

Allow me to respond to this question with a paraphrase of the question.

Why should I talk to a person that I want to get to know and relate to closely, why not just have one major conversation with them and let that be all?

Well because by so doing, I limit my knowledge of the person and the growth of my relationship with this person. God is multifaceted, he has so many dimensions and even with all the time that we have on this side of heaven we will not fully know Him. To interact with the Lord in word and in prayer is to know the Lord. And as we continue to know Him, he who created us reveals to us our true identity, what he had in mind when he put us together. But to understand this we must understand that prayer is not a religious ritual, it is not a delivery of a wish list. It is relational practice that allows us to interact with our friend Jesus Christ.

What is your prayer for women today?

My prayer for women today is that they will understand that Jesus Loves them, that they will experience the reality of this truth at a heart and mind level. All women desire to be loved and the love of Christ is the greatest love off all! The love of Jesus Christ is the surest source of the security that we seek. I pray that all women will know this love and that it will liberate them to live out the good, pleasing and perfect plan that the Lord has set for them.

What is the biggest lesson you can share on prayer?

There is power in prayer! As we pray let us not be preoccupied with ourselves but pray for others as well. Let us intercede. We are the hands and feet of Jesus Christ here on earth and prayer is on of the tools we have been given to fight the good fight. So let us use it, let us pray for our loved ones, for our enemies for our nation. God will use your prayer to deliver His blessing.

Anything else you’d like to add?

Yakuti, Keep on praying!

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Let’s keep praying, and let’s keep Emily in our prayers, ladies!

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Great book! What made you decide to write this?

I was actually training to be a part of a community response team for domestic violence situations in the community I resided in. I learned so much from the training that I received. After receiving that training I became a member of Teens Experiencing Abusive Relationships. The knowledge that I received from both trainings encouraged me to reach teens that are raised in Christian households. It is my belief that Christian many pre-teens and teens face difficulties filtering what they observe in their households, in schools, information from peers, and making a commitment to have a transparent walk with Jesus Christ. The statistics show that Christians are not immune to unhealthy relationships. I decided to write this book to encourage teens to maintain or re-establish a transparent walk with Jesus Christ by sharing my story. My mother has always told me that prevention is better than cure. I hold on to that belief as well. I believe knowledge and testimonies are tools that empowers and may prevent an individual from making poor choices.

What went on between the first thought, “Maybe I should write,” and the day you actually flipped your laptop open and began to type out this book (or opened a notebook and began to write it)?

My book started out as a journal where I was keeping track of the things I learned, scriptures I studied, statistics I gathered, and correspondences that I was having with teens and their parents. I prayed about it a lot and I asked God to make it clear if He wanted me to write this book — and I believe He did. When writing this book I was very nervous because it is written, Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. (James 3:1). So I prayerfully made certain that my book was a tool of encouragement not a teaching or preaching tool.

Did you always want to be a writer? What’s your “day job”?

I began writing songs when I was seven years old. Then it progressed to writing poetry in high school. I never had any intention to write a book; however the desire to write this book pervaded my thoughts for a long time, actually two years before I wrote this book. My day job is that I work as a patient liaison of a Emergency Room Department and I am a nursing student scheduled to graduate soon.

How did you come to know the Lord?

I never thought I would actually commit my life to the Lord. Growing up in a Christian home frustrated me as a teen. I hated going to church and I would purposefully make fun of many if not all the ministers I saw or heard. One day, when I was fourteen years old, my mother purchased DirectTV for their 24 hour Christian station called TBN (Trinity Broadcasting Network). We had four televisions in the house at that time all the televisions in the house were tuned to TBN all day. I had no choice but to watch the ministers preaching on the television. One day, I heard a minister on the television preaching and I remember feeling like a dagger went through my heart. I prayed willfully for God to come into my life for the first time and since then I made a conscious decision to pursue a relationship with God.

What has been the most victorious moment of your life so far?

I have had several victorious moments in my life. But the one that sticks out to me is a revelation in my thought life. I realized that the devil is a liar and that God has broken that chains and has set me free from every bondage. So with this mindset that I have, whenever legalism, discouragement, condemnation, fear, and other things creep into my mind and environment, I have learned that those things are not fruits of the Holy Spirit.

In my twenties I have started to develop a character of perseverance in the midst of confusion and discouragement. My greatest victory is coming to the understanding that I do not have to be a perfect person to be a vessel or instrument of God. I believe that I am the clay and God is the Potter and He is continually molding me.

We all feel like giving up every once in a while. What is the one Bible verse that keeps you going at such times?

Quitting is not an option for me because I know God is real and I know that God is ever present. What I constantly struggle with is discouragement, especially when I am challenged to increase my faith and not dwell on what is actually in front of me. The Scripture that encourages me and keeps me going is 2 Corinthians 4.

In your book, you say a few things that may be a little controversial. For instance, you say “believe in yourself and stand by your feelings.” One might say, “but the Bible says believe in God (John 14:1, 1 Peter 1:21, etc), and the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9).” How would you respond to this?

I didn’t intend for anything to be controversial in the book. The Lord says the following [in] Matthew 10:16, I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. 1 John 4:1 [says], Beloved, do not believe every spirit, But test the spirits, whether they are of God… 2 Timothy 3: 13 [says that], evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived. In 2 Timothy 3, it talks about the character of people that will be present in the last days and it instructs women in verse 5 to turn away from such men, which is an action. In verse 6, it indicated that women were taken captive and deceived by ungodly men because they were weak-willed and silly. In verse 15 it discusses that the only way to build wisdom is through the knowledge of the scriptures.

Situations have to be tested and tried against the word of God. I believe it is dangerous for an individual to negate their ability to make sound decisions. I said to believe in yourself because self-doubt many times can cause an individual to do unwise things such as elevate another person over themselves. [This] may expose them to being belittled and/or controlled, which is ungodly. To do anything against your conscious is not a good thing. That person has to hesitate, find out why their red flags are going off  and analyze if the situation or circumstance is unhealthy, goesagainst their standards, or needs to be discussed with a spiritual elder for advice.

You also say, “You have the right to be mean, it is okay!” What do you mean by this?

There are cases when an individual may go along with a situation or circumstance that they do not feel comfortable with; because they did not want to appear mean. The Lord says to submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you, James 4:7. It also says in Ephesians 6:12, For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. 1 Corinthians 5:11, But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.

The definition of resist is, “refuse to comply or stand up or offer resistance to something.” There are situations and perhaps individuals that you may have to walk away from. Peers or family may classify that as being “mean” whereas you are being wise and resisting an avenue for the devil to enter your life.

Your book is directed at teens and pre-teens, since the majority of teens in America begin dating at age 14. Would you recommend dating at age 14?

No I do not believe any one at the age of 14 should be dating. But the reality is that some teens are secretly dating or having unhealthy friendships unbeknownst to their parents or guardians. I believe dating is intended for individuals who are seeking marriage. At the age of 14, teens should be figuring out what direction they want to go in life and should be focused on developing and maturing their relationship with God.

What is the purpose of dating?

I believe dating is intended for individuals who are seeking marriage. It is also an avenue to build a stronger friendship with the person whom you are dating.

At what point is it alright for a woman to begin dating?

I am uncertain, that individual needs to seek godly counsel from a trusted minister or elder.

Many Christian women are resolute in their teens about remaining chaste. However, they get into their twenties, and sometimes into their thirties, and begin to get frustrated by the wait. Can you honestly say it is possible for a woman to abstain from sex before marriage? How can she do this?

It is possible for woman to abstain from sex before marriage. It is all about being strong-willed. If an individual commits their life to the Lord after having a godless life or comes back to seeking Him after walking away from Him, they can definitely recommit to abstain from physical intimacy until marriage. Many are doing it. It is written in Psalm 27:14, Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD. Romans 10:11, Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.

A man that respects you and serves God will wait for marriage. I, as a single lady, am also in the waiting period. I am waiting for the Lord to lead the right individual into my life; however, until that time comes, I am working on my soul to make sure it is healthy. My soul, meaning my mind, my will, and my emotions. I want to be a spiritually and emotionally healthy individual and that pursuit constantly occupies my time and thoughts. I am not an expert and this book was in no way to be an instruction guide but a tool of encouragement by sharing my experience.

What is an abusive relationship?

Abuse is any behavior that is designed to control and subjugate another human being through the use of fear, emotional attacks, verbal assaults, mind games, and humiliation.

As you have mentioned, you work with an organization known as TEAR, Teens Experiencing Abusive Relationships. The Cycle of Abuse is similar among teens and among adults. First of all, it is shocking to know that teenagers are being abused, and in many cases by fellow teenagers. What are teenagers looking for – why are relationships starting out so early these days?

Teenagers are following trends. Their parents may have set an unhealthy or bad example or they may not be educating, teaching, or monitoring their children properly. Teens are also bombarded by standards that the media places via movies, magazines, music, and other avenues. Also, I truly believe there are a lot of broken homes nowadays and children are not getting the proper emotional, mental and spiritual guidance. Therefore they are more open to falling prey to unhealthy situations. Job 1:7 says, The LORD said to Satan, “Where have you come from?” Satan answered the LORD, “From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it.” 1 Peter 5:8 [tells us to] Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Teens are easy prey because many of them if they are not properly guided by parents are guardians are not able to withstand the tricks of satan.

How do women get into abusive relationships?

The same reasons as teens; many are deceived and were unable to recognize the warning signs. Some bypassed the warning signs, deceiving themselves, thinking that they can change the individual. Therefore getting caught up in an unhealthy cycle of abuse, in which the partner is controlling the individual through either emotional, verbal, or physical abuse.

Are women abusive, too?

Yes, they can be. Abuse is about power and control. The gender of an individual does not dictate abuse.

What causes a person to become abusive in a relationship?

The desire for power and control over another individual.

You say you went through an abusive relationship, but stayed there for years. You are confident and headstrong woman, and so are many women who end up in abusive relationships. How does this happen?

Deception. I was deceived and I was also very young 18 years old. I was away from sound counsel, I wasn’t attending church regularly, and I had the wrong friendships around me. My friends at the time were secular Christians they weren’t very devout in following the Lord. Since I did not wisely control my environment or surround myself in a healthy Christian surroundings and fellowship, I fell into one of satan’s traps. While I was in the friendship stage with my then ex-boyfriend I did detect unhealthy behaviors and beliefs, but I did not take a break to seek godly counsel and I did not understand the urgency to turn away from such individuals who exhibited ungodly characteristics or who were manipulative and controlling. I also put too much unearned trust in my ex-boyfriend.

There is a scripture in which Jesus spoke and said, “You are going to have the light just a little while longer. Walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you. The man who walks in the dark does not know where he is going. (John 12:35).” It is also written: It is better to trust and take refuge in the Lord than to put confidence in man. Psalm 118:8.

I always say when in doubt, take a break and pray it out. And I believe that an individual has the right to walk away from any situation that may cause confusion or is chaotic, while they are able to recognize the dysfunction. God is not the author of Confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33), and I did not know that at the time. One thing that I was led to believe by my friends and ex-boyfriend was that conflict was normal and I was also led to believe that if I changed the relationship would get better. This is a cycle of brainwashing and emotional abuse. Many times in unhealthy relationships it begins with emotional abuse then proceeds to verbal and physical abuse.

The Bible says that the only situation where divorce is acceptable is adultery (Matt 5:31-32, Matt 19:3-9). What then is a woman in an abusive marriage to do?

I would personally separate myself from someone that is capable of harming me. Statistics show that thousands of women are killed by their significant others each year. I believe God is a just God and He is full of Compassion. I do not believe the Lord wants us to be martyrs for the sake of maintaining marriage vows with an individual who is of no self-control, manipulative, and etc. Such a person is not a man of God. 1 Corinthians 5:11 [says], I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.

I like to refer to 2 Timothy 3, where it commands that women should not subject themselves to abusive men but should turn away from them. I am not a minister, therefore I would advise any woman in an abusive marriage to seek godly counsel. However, if I were in an abusive marriage and if my husband had no desire to change, divorce would be an option for me, especially if I had children. I would not want my children to grow up assuming abuse was normal and having that abuse imprinted on their minds.

These are some scriptures to consider along with 2 Timothy 3: Matthew 16:19 and Matthew 18:18.

Does dressing have anything to do with date rape?

From the cases that I am aware of that some women unknowingly placed themselves in a dangerous situation. Date rape many times occurs by someone that the victim knows. I am certain that a victim of date rape had no idea that the individual would assault her.

I do believe provocative clothing is not wise, for it is written for women to dress modestly. 1 Timothy 2:9, I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety… Unfortunately the fashion nowadays is anything but modest. But the victim is not to be blamed at all for any rape case. The act of rape is pre-meditated, the rapist makes the conscious decision to assault the victim against their will. Dressing has nothing to do with the act of rape, the rapist does not exercise self-control and purposefully assaults the victim. Blaming a victim for dressing in an unscrupulous manner is merciless and unwise. To blame a victim would be saying that the victim asked and welcomed the assault and therefore deserved it. That is almost never the case.

What would you say to Tamar (2 Samuel ch. 13) if she came to you right after she was raped?

Tamar’s situation was very sad. If she was present in 2010, I would listen to her account of the situation, be a great friend and confidant as she seeks medical, psychological, and spiritual counseling. I would advise that she go to the hospital within 24 hours after the assault to receive medical treatment and file a police report. I would then advise her to go to receive counseling from both a professional counselor of a rape or sexual sssault crisis center and a trusted minister. Rape is a tragic offense and I believe only counseling and the Holy Spirit can help to properly heal a victim.

Do you think Christian women today are desperate to be in relationships?

Yes! Women in general are desperate.

If there was one thing you could tell Christian men everywhere, what would it be?

The Christian community tends to focus a lot on the Proverbs 31 woman. The men need to realize that there was a prophecy concerning how they would be in the last days in 2 Timothy 3. Christian men need to rise a higher standard in regards to their character and set an example to the rest of the world, instead of following the world’s example.

The Bible says whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap (Galatians 6:9). How can single women sow now, so that they can reap bountifully in marriage?

I am not married at the moment, so I don’t believe it is wise for me to give my opinion. I can only speak about myself at the moment. Right now I am focusing on myself and God. I am focused on casting down every thing that tries to take the place of God in my life–this is the hardest task of my life. I want God to be my Father, my Lord, my friend, my brother, and my shield.

What are the marks of a man of honor?

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23

How can a woman know if God has called her to be single?

I am uncertain.

Is it realistic to think virtue is possible in 2010?

Yes, but it is hard. I struggle all the time especially in this society that many times what is wrong is right and what is right is considered to be archaic and wrong. Examples: Cursing, gossiping, excessive partying, foul music, and etc. But to serve the Lord we have to deny ourselves and take up the cross and follow Him, Mark 8:34. I am challenged every day to do that. Sometimes I fail, but I get back up again and continue pressing forward to strive for perfection. Proverbs 24:16, Phillippians 3:14-15.

Should Christian ladies expect more books from Ms Jessica Martin?

I really do not plan [to write] another book, perhaps in the future, 5 years from now (God-willing), I will re-release the book with more information or if I get married I would write an account of the marriage. I do plan [to create] and publish a magazine.

Click here  to visit Jessica’s website.

Click here  to buy The Christian Lady’s Dating Constitution on Amazon.

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Erere Abayowa, née Ojakovo, is a writer who has blessed many with her words on Light Her Lamp, a blog she has been running since 2006. In this written interview, she shares her thoughts on life, love and literary things. I ‘met’ Erere in 2007, first on Blogger and then on The Early Risers’ Call (TERC), a prayer conference call that takes place at 5am EST every Friday.

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Congratulations again!!! And a belated happy first month anniversary. How is marriage?

Thank you Paula. It’s been a very lovely first month learning new things with my husband and also renewing and igniting the earlier aspects of our relationship. We are closer than we’ve ever been before, and we look forward to many more anniversaries.

Your name Erere is interesting and pleasant-sounding – what does it mean?

It is an Urhobo name (a tribe from Delta State, Nigeria), and it means “profit” or “gain.”

If you were to choose just one word that defines you, what would that word be, and why?

I had to pause and think about that one, because I’m not a one-word person. I, more often than not, tend to say one thing in several ways, maybe because I think it’s fun to conjure as many images as possible, and less restrictive. After much thought, I still couldn’t come up with just one word.

What was your childhood like: where did you grow up, go to school, describe family life back then.

I grew up in four different cities: Sapele, Benin [City], Port-Harcourt, and Lagos. I attended several schools in these cities, and then travelled to the United States for College and now my Masters. I’ve been quite a mover! Family life was really sweet back then as a kid. I loved the long holidays the most because I and my siblings were in boarding house, and long holidays were the times where we could create our very own special childhood memories—eating together as a family, telling stories when there was no electricity and when it was dark, bringing our uncle’s dog into the living room when my mum was not around (she hated dogs), and having our cousins come over to visit. I also remember when we started attending this fantastic vacation Bible school at Ikoyi Baptist church, I remember being surprised that we were having as much fun in a place that I thought would be boring. They really did a great job with the kinds of activities they dished out every day, and the jollof rice and chicken was also great for lunch!

What’s your testimony; how did you come to know the Lord?

When I was younger (less than ten), I remember having a form of “religion” but not experiencing anything more than that. As time grew on, I remember that my mother talked to my dad about having family devotions and making our lives more meaningful. It actually worked. It was so exciting to start something like that in my family. Slightly after that, I got introduced to music by Ron Kenoly and Don Moen, and I began to have a feel of what “real worship to God” was. The first time I sang Don Moen’s “Draw Me Close,” I can honestly say I felt God’s presence. I wanted Him to draw me closer to Him. But I still was very young and naïve. One day in High school, I ran up to the altar to give my life to Christ. I was moved by the preaching and worship. I gave my life many times after that as well, LOL. I kept learning more and more about God by going to church, but my closest moments of knowing Him was when I started attending the Temple of Praise International Church at Beltsville, Maryland…I met someone who changed my life, Pastor Nike Daramy. She pretty much made me see God the way I’ve never seen, and in 2004 I rededicated my life again.

What family member do you quote the most in your speech?

My dad. He has said a lot of funny things in my life-time.

What has been the darkest moment of your life so far, and how (from what your finite mind can fathom in this realm) has God used it to get you to where you are?

When I was very young, I remember having a sinister fear that my nuclear family was going to get torn apart because of so-called “family wars,” but I’m here now, and we’re still together…as tightly knit as can be. God has shown me that He is indeed my SHEPHERD, He has kept my family together up until now, no matter how hard the devil worked at trying to pull the family apart.

What gives you the greatest joy?

God’s love. I don’t understand how He can love people who go against His word…every time I do something that cuts His heart, He still forgives me. I’m in a continuous training to make myself please Him with everything I do. It’s a race. And I’m winning…

Do you like being called a writer?

Yes, I do. It makes my heart skip a beat, actually. Because I love the creativity I can pull off from writing.

How did your very first blog post come about? How do you feel when you go back and read it?

Ha ha, my very first blog post was as a result of me finding a world of joy out there (called BLOGGER.COM) and wanting to post something on my blank page really fast. I went back to read my first post called, “One Day of Dominion.” When I was writing it I was only exploring the world of blogging and trying to be poetic. I also remember that I had heard Pastor Nike preaching about the dominion that God gave man back in the garden of Eden, and how we’re still supposed to have dominion till this day. Now that I think about it, I obviously had no clue what the blog was going to grow into, but I know that God knew what He was doing. Wow.

You have managed to keep your blog up, consistently posting through the years, while other bloggers have changed usernames, gone private or quit blogging altogether. What keeps you going?

Knowing that my blog is not just for me but for many people out there inspires me to keep writing. The Light-Her-Lamp blog is not a personal diary, although I reveal little snippets of myself occasionally so that people can relate to me on a normal level, since I’m just like the average person out there. It is mainly about how God inspires me constantly through His word, and I tell what I experience or learn by using fictional stories that people can relate to.

One of the first things about your blog that struck me and stayed with me was the word M.E.T.A.M.O.R.P.H.O.S.E.S. I am sure it would be accurate to say Erere today is not the Erere she was in 2006. Describe the change for us.

Yes, I am not the same. In fact, I believe that I am not the same person as I was yesterday because in just one day I’ve learned some really cool things. I’m always striving to improve. I’m always striving to be better. There will never be a time where I’ve got it all, as far as the bible is alive. Do you know you can read one passage a million times and it could mean a million things?

You touch many people with your writing, but you still seem to be a very private person. Is this true? Is it a writer thing?

I’m a very private person. Most times I want to vent or something, but I can’t because I’m private. In fact, my entire family likes privacy too. Although I don’t know if having 889 friends or thereabout on facebook is serving a private purpose right now, LOL. I’m still anonymous to some, but not to others.

Which writer inspires you the most?

I don’t have a favorite writer and I don’t think I ever will because every story is different. A single writer could have five books, but only one would speak out to me. But I am so in love with Francine Rivers and the way she told the story in “Redeeming Love.” Don’t think I’ve ever read a book like that before. I’m currently reading the Mark of the Lion series, also by Francine Rivers.

You’re currently in grad school, which means you must be a very busy person. How has your typical daily schedule changed in marriage?

I am currently doing a Masters degree in Health services administration, and I guess after one month of marriage my schedule is still the same as last year. It’s not more stressful or anything.

What do you think Jesus thinks of your blog?

I love this question, I think Jesus would enjoy reading it if He reads blogs. Oh, I think He’ll love the comments section too.

What is the biggest challenge you face as a writer?

Publicity.

What is the one thing you hope your readers gain from your blog?

That they will be saved and not miss the mark.

What’s a single lady to do this Valentine’s Day?

Go out and splurge on yourself (treat yourself to a spa and some nice Thai food, and some chocolate cake). And don’t say Jesus is your husband, that line is getting old.

Tell us about TERC; were you one of the founders?

No, the founder is the lovely Yewande Sofolahan, who has grown to be my TERC pal over the years. TERC (The Early Risers Call) is made up of a group of people who take the time to be on a conference call every Friday for fellowship and prayers. We have formed this unbreakable bond and I believe God brought us together because every member is unique in a weird way. To join us on Fridays or to listen to any of our back-dated conversations, please visit http://tercblog.blogspot.com/

What five things would you never leave the house without?

I know only one thing I can’t do without right now: MY LAPTOP. See, the laptop connects me to every other thing I need.

What is your favorite Bible verse?

Psalm 1:1 (although I’d say the entire chapter of Psalm 1 is my favorite). “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.”

Aside from the praise of her husband and those around her, is there anything at all that a woman gains by being virtuous?

I think a woman gains self-worth by being virtuous. And that feeling is…priceless!

Anything else you’d like to add?

You can be different, even when the odds are against you. You can do what God wants you to do, and you can be who God wants you to be. Who says you can’t? The world will tell you otherwise, but only you can choose to believe. I always say that even when it is hard, it is still doable! ? It gets easier when you’re in love with your first Love.

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In 2010, by God’s grace, I will begin to remind myself of the fact that if God has not called me to be single, then I am created to be someone’s missing rib. I will conduct myself appropriately. I will no longer flirt, as this is careless and disrespectful to God and my husband. I will learn the things I need to know about motherhood and being a wife. I will understand that trust is earned, and will earn the trust of my husband. I will also take advantage of the ability to serve God fully and wholeheartedly, without reservations, as a single woman. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband (1 Corinthians 7:34).

Stir up the gift and exercise my calling (Proverbs 31:17).

In 2010, by God’s grace, I will stir up the gift of God which is in me. His Word tells me that His gift and calling are without repentance. I will remember that I am special, and there is, there has never been and there will never be nobody exactly like me anywhere in the world. I will remember that I am like a key in a vast keyboard, and nobody can take my place or do what is supposed to be done by me, exactly the way I would do it. I will seek to honour God in my actions and serve and edify others with the blessings He has placed on my life. Neglect not the gift that is in thee, which was given thee by prophecy, with the laying on of the hands of the presbytery (1 Timothy 4:14).

Learn a craft or skill (Proverbs 31:13, 19).

In 2010, by God’s grace, I will learn something new. I am growing and progressing and God created me to live life abundantly. I will seek God about becoming the woman that He has called me to be and ask Him to guide me in the creative skills He has endowed me with. Creativity is a gift from God and my skills are for His glory. See, I have called by name Bezaleel the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah: And I have filled him with the spirit of God, in wisdom, and in understanding, and in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship, To devise cunning works, to work in gold, and in silver, and in brass, And in cutting of stones, to set them, and in carving of timber, to work in all manner of workmanship (Exodus 31:2-5).

Be kind to the poor (Proverbs 31:20).

In 2010, by God’s grace, I will remember the poor and understand that mocking them is mocking Jesus. I will do my best to be unselfish, and try to think of others before myself. I will ask the Lord to guide people who need me my way, and to lead me to people that I can bless for His Name’s sake. Whoso mocketh the poor reproacheth his Maker: and he that is glad at calamities shall not be unpunished (Proverbs 17:5).

Be prudent (Proverbs 31:21).

In 2010, by God’s grace, I will think about my decisions before I make them. I will not commit to anything without prayer. I will remember that there is a way that seemeth right to a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death and I will not consider any decision or situation too small or too big to be brought before God. A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished (Proverbs 22:3).

Dress decently (Proverbs 31:22, 25).

In 2010, by God’s grace, I will be a kingdom lady in my appearance and composure. I will not be found exposing the parts of my body that should be seen only by my husband. I will carry myself with grace and elegance and refuse to be swept away by every trend-wind that blows beside or around me, because I am royalty. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price (1 Peter 3:3-4).

Monitor my finances (Proverbs 31:16 ,24).

In 2010, by God’s grace, I will apply the financial principles I learnt in 2009. I will do as God requires of me with the money that He has blessed me with. I will refuse to be sucked into debt and remember that God is my Provider. I will not worry about tomorrow, because the lilies and the sparrows remind me of my value in my Creator’s sight. I will consider a field and buy it by God’s grace. The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want (Psalm 23:1).

Speak wisely (Proverbs 31:26).

In 2010, by God’s grace, I shall watch my words. I will open my mouth in kindness and refuse to speak evil over myself or any of God’s children. I will not gossip, lie, boast, brag, use foul language, or spend too much time on the phone, and I will try to hold my tongue even in difficult circumstances. I will ask the Lord to bridle my tongue. I will fill my heart with wholesome things so that only wholesome words come from my mouth. He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction (Proverbs 13:3).

Refuse to be idle (Proverbs 31:27).

In 2010, by God’s grace, I will not waste the time that God has given to me. I will not be found idle at any time. I will mind my own business. I will do God-glorifying things with my time and I will see projects through to completion. For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies. Now them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, and eat their own bread (2 Thessalonians 3:11-12).

Fear God.

In 2010, by God’s grace, the Word of God will be branded on my heart and I will love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. I will remember who He is and where He has brought me from. I will remember where He is taking me and the importance of living a life that glorifies His Name. I will walk in holiness and in peace and acknowledge Him every step of the way. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever (Psalm 111:10).

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It is already almost a year since we talked about having a virtuous 2009. Time has truly flown. Here we are again, evaluating our year. Have we loved others and stayed true to ourselves and to our God? Are we still carrying the issues we purposed to get rid of at the end of the year? It’s time to evaluate 2009. Let’s jog our memory and see what we have learnt in the past year.

Get the order right (Grace Kageni).

“I was taught one thing. Not everyone likes it, but it works. Master, Mission, Mate. You have to know your Master. Who’s He in your life? You have to know the Creator. Why is He important? Have a walk with Him – it has to be steady. Learn what He likes and doesn’t like. Connect with Him. Get your mission. We all have a purpose in life. Basically everyone was given one mission in life; to worship Him in everything that we do. But He has given each and every person a [nother] mission. Each and every person depends on the other – so you have to get your mission. And the last one is mate. He’ll bring the right person to you. Someone who’s mission correlates with you. Since God is going to give you your mate – He knows what is in you. He’ll give you the person who’s just right for you.”

Redefine beauty (Enid Moraa).

“I would generally describe beauty as a property that makes the subject in question irresistibleIn the years that I got to know and interact with  [Mercy Kigame], even on her very bad days I knew without a doubt I wanted to be just like her in every way. If other people can be encouraged to be better people just watching you live your life – that’s beauty, baby! Looks do not make the woman. What lies within eventually comes to the surface and it’s in your best interest if it is something nice like kindness. The African woman is beautiful in every way. God has given us beautiful skin that isn’t prone to disease, curves that are the envy of many… we need not worry and focus too much on the outside, it’s there already. Why not spend that time doing the important stuff like being better Christians, better employees, wives, sisters, friends, and mothers?”

Connect with God and believe Him for what seems impossible (Nkatha Gatuma).

“He is not this Batman in space. This is somebody that I walk with the whole day. He can talk to me; I can talk back to Him. The times that I have really connected with God are during my times of difficulty. The Bible says that when you go through the fire, I will be with you. At that time, when you have a difficulty, God manifests Himself in your life. These are times when Romans 8:28 becomes clear. When you are going through that, you know and believe that this thing, you can’t even figure it out, you don’t know how it came, you don’t know even how it will go out of here, but all you know is that it will work out for your good. When we pray, most times, we’re in the position of asking. Most times people do not move from the position of asking to the position of receiving. God is not somebody that we’re playing with. He is the Almighty God. He is not deaf that He cannot hear. When you ask, ask once – that is my policy as Nkatha. I go on my knees and ask once, with faith, and I believe. From there, I say ‘thank You, I receive in Jesus Name.’ The Bible says that whatsoever things you have asked in prayer, believe and you will receive the things you have asked for.

I know a testimony of a sister who was asking God for a husband. She was praying, ‘God, send the man, send the man.’ One day, the revelation of asking once came to her. After she prayed, she said, ‘This is the last time I’m asking for a husband.’ God told her: ‘Now that you’ve asked, believe you have received.’ She said, ‘I believe I have received.’ From that day, she changed her life into a life of receiving her miracle. She went to her closet, moved her clothes, arranged her dresses and everything, and left a section for her husband in her closet. Every time she had her food, she did not sit all over the table. She sat on one side like her husband was next to her. This sister started parking her car on one side [of her garage] and left the other side for her husband. Every day she thanked God for her husband. One day, she came to New York for a meeting. This handsomest man walked in to the room and they had eye contact. The guy sat next to her and gave her his card, saying she must give him a call. He asked her out for a date. Remember, she had always believed her husband would be next to her. She lived like he was next to her. Well, this lady did a wonderful and glorious wedding with her husband – next to her.”

Be you (Imat Akelo-Opio).

I would like every man, woman and child to know that no matter what you are going through, God is right there and that, that same pain, that rain is showering you to prepare you for un?imaginable growth because you are precious and on your own journey with him. Forget what the world says, seek the truth, value who you are and don’t be afraid to walk away even if you are left with nothing. Have faith and keep trusting him, He will return more to you than you could ever dream of, just hold onto his living word and seek his guidance and wisdom. I know I am living proof and testament to this advice that I give you.

Understand your role and stand on the shoulders of others to implement it (Jackie Mugane).

“Womanhood today has been taken on a very material note. A woman is defined by the clothes she wears, the makeup she has on and the designer perfume she is wearing. But what does God say about women? How does God give woman their identity – is it based on their careers and their material well being? I don’t think so. God’s identity of the woman is a helper to the man. Helper meaning that she gives life to the vision that God has given the man, she encourages the man until the vision is brought forth and birth in to reality, she uses her influential power to birth his dream on her knees. God gave the woman a womb for a very good reason. In as much as she carries a baby for 9 months, in the spirit she is the one who should carry the vision that the man has been given in her spirit until it brings forth the kind of fruit God intends for it.

That is why I think a woman should not marry just anybody who has no vision of sense of purpose in life. She will be frustrated because she has the power to bring forth a vision but the man she is married to has no seed of vision to impart in her spirit. It is a high standard, I agree, but when we trust God for the very best, he will bring us a man of purpose and vision. Young women who are models in their societies have a huge role to play in imparting their wisdom on other young women, That is why I believe in mentoring so much, because my journey with the Lord in term of self identity is something that i impart to many who are struggling with the same issue and others that are bound in the cycle of materialism as their identity definers.

I believe mentorship is very important because it allows us to stand on the shoulders of others who have walked the journey and can most definitely help us, especially when it comes to the place in ones life when you need to be understood and to disclose certain things about oneself without the fear of been judged or betrayed. I always tell people to ask the Lord to lead them to people who can mentor them, and not assume that a certain person is good to mentor them. It wise to allow God to lead you to such a person. It may be someone you do not expect.”

Whether virtue has been possible in your life depends on your willingness to exercise the principles of the Proverbs 31 woman. One thing all five women above agree on is that it is indeed possible by God’s grace.

Have a wonderful Christmas season!

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This month, Yakuti spoke to Jackie Mugane, the Assistant Senior Pastor at the African Nazarene University (ANU) Chapel. Jackie holds a B.Th from ANU and is currently enrolled in Daystar University’s Masters in Media and Communications programme. She is passionate about mentoring young women, spiritual development in people of all ages and most importantly, God. Here are her thoughts on life, love, and lessons for women.

What are five words that would describe Jackie Mugane?

Loving, sociable, perfectionist, risk taker and time conscious.

What is your favourite childhood memory?

I guess I have many but one of the most vivid memories I have is when a mental bar hit my head and I thought I would die. My mum was screaming for help since she also thought that impact must have heard a lot of damage, but there was not much damage on my head and I was out and about the next day playing with my sisters as if nothing had happened to me.

Did you ever think you would attain this level of education? Was it always
your aim?

With the kind of supportive parents I have, there was no reason why it seemed impossible to achieve anything. My dad was a trained teacher and he strongly beliefs in girl child education. We are three girls in my family and he always encouraged us and sacrificed a lot to get us the best education possible. Hence with so much support my aim was to do my best to achieve all that i could. My aim is actually to attain a PHD after I am done with my Masters program.

Why the degree in theology and not any other field?

At some point in my life I had a real need to understand and know God. I still do but I guess then it was stirred up in me. Hence I did theology. After some time i realized that in as much as theology has a lot to do with biblical studies what i was truly looking for was God. God was not found in the books because there was still something missing. God was found in a relationship with Him. I am glad that I did theology for am better equipped to understand certain biblical issues affecting our generation and our context.

I also feel that biblical ignorance is what is causing many false teachers and spiritual leaders today. Some pastors who may not have the necessary basics may be at a disadvantaged position of misinterpretation of scripture. This as you may know can cause a lot of confusion among those who are under the leadership of these leaders. A degree in theology is very beneficial for effective teaching and leadership.

Are you close to your mother?

My mum is more of a friend than a mum. We talk about anything. When we were growing up we were closer to my dad than my mum but now it seems Mum is the one I am closer to. When we were young, Mum [was] the disciplinarian and so we tended to avoid her but now [that] my sisters and I are all grown, there is nothing but friendship between us.

What is the best thing she has ever done for you?

The best thing Mum has taught us is to love God and to desire to know Him. I can confidently say the encouragement that she has given me concerning my personal spiritual pursuit is part of the reason why I am who I am today.

What is your take on mentorship?

I believe mentorship is very important because it allows us to stand on the shoulders of others who have walked the journey and can most definitely help us, especially when it comes to the place in ones life when you need to be understood and to disclose certain things about oneself without the fear of been judged or betrayed. I always tell people to ask the Lord to lead them to people who can mentor them, and not assume that a certain person is good to mentor them. It wise to allow God to lead you to such a person. It may be someone you do not expect.

What do you have to say about the state of womanhood today and the role
models young women have?

Womanhood today has been taken on a very material note. A woman is defined by the clothes she wears, the makeup she has on and the designer perfume she is wearing. But what does God say about women? How does God give woman their identity – is it based on their careers and their material well being? I don’t think so. God’s identity of the woman is a helper to the man. Helper meaning that she gives life to the vision that God has given the man, she encourages the man until the vision is brought forth and birth in to reality, she uses her influential power to birth his dream on her knees. God gave the woman a womb for a very good reason. In as much as she carries a baby for 9 months, in the spirit she is the one who should carry the vision that the man has been given in her spirit until it brings forth the kind of fruit God intends for it.

That is why I think a woman should not marry just anybody who has no vision of sense of purpose in life. She will be frustrated because she has the power to bring forth a vision but the man she is married to has no seed of vision to impart in her spirit. It is a high standard, I agree, but when we trust God for the very best, he will bring us a man of purpose and vision. Young women who are models in their societies have a huge role to play in imparting their wisdom on other young women, That is why I believe in mentoring so much, because my journey with the Lord in term of self identity is something that i impart to many who are struggling with the same issue and others that are bound in the cycle of materialism as their identity definers.

How do you spend your free time (do you ever have any free time)?

Yes I do have free time. I spend it at home with my family or with friends. When I am free, most of the time I am cooking for my family, which I love doing. I also love reflecting by journaling. I write a lot and therefore on my bedside there is always a note pad. [There is] another in my hand bag which I carry all the time. I easily find the Lord’s voice to me in journaling and writing. My mum tells me when i was small all I did was write on walls. One thing I am praying about is to compile a devotional book.

As the assistant senior pastor of the Nazarene University congregation, do
you ever encounter any opposition to women in the pulpit? How do you
respond to 1 Timothy 2:12?

Paul talks about his opinion that women should not talk in church. This has been a basis of an entire doctrine against woman leadership in the church to the extent that in some of the African cultures as a woman you can not stand and speak to men in a church because they have their basis both from culture and biblical misinterpretations. It should be noted that Paul’s opinion on women’s leadership should be interpreted in consideration of certain factors like the context, the cultural background, the historical overview and so many other factors. Aside from this, scripture should be interpreted in context of the whole biblical witness. [Don't] take a verse and interpret it in isolation. All these well studied can help get a balanced approach in one’s interpretations of that scripture.

Paul was not against women in leadership, he was addressing an issue in that context. A lack of this understanding has made many do injustice to this scripture and the bible has not been leant its authentic voice. I can not over-emphasize that the greatest challenge in biblical teaching is interpretation. I can not say that I encounter opposition from women. The pastors that I work with are very supportive. In fact, the general feel is that my being the Assistant Pastor allows gender balance in the church leadership. The church of the Nazarene advocates and strongly believes in women leadership, so with me I guess they got a chance to see how it all works.

How do you minister to “intellectuals”, i.e. those who are so well-read
that they find Christianity superstitious and foolish?

This is the greatest challenge in the teaching and pastoral ministry. I guess most of the intellectuals in my church are people who love the Lord and have walked with him for long, so they don’t pose a great problem. But I guess if I was to be challenged on that note, the principle of Love (which is the reason why Jesus came and the reason why I am serving him) is the best weapon against the intellectual’s mind that wants to resist the existent of God in their lives. No matter how well read you may be, Love will always strike a cord. Love as spoken of in 1Corinthians 13, is the key. It may take long but as long as it gradually brings down their walls it’s worth the effort.

Are you single/married? Do men find you intimidating because of your academic achievements?

I am single. Yes, men do find me very intimidating, which is something I have tried working on. I do not believe it’s of much benefit if they feel that way. My brother tells me that I am very confident and therefore intimidating. I always try to keep a smile on my face and greet people just to break the ice of tension if need be.

Do you think today’s marriages are in crisis?

For a long time women especially in the African culture were very oppressed and never had a voice in society. Things have changed a lot, and women are now getting educated and climbing the academic ladder of great achievements. This has worked to the woman’s favour but there is need for a balance because many women perceive marriages as a setback towards their ambitions. I feel there is need for marriage to be put in proper perspective in as much as career and education is a great priority to many women. It takes the grace of God to balance this out, and that is why as I said earlier if a woman can find her identity in God first then its easier to put certain things on a balanced platform because by getting married she is not losing out or her success as a woman for true success is self-identity which nothing or no one can take away from you.

What can young women do today to prepare themselves for their role as
wives and mothers?

They can desire and strive to love God and serve him in their singleness. It is out of this that they will understand their roles as wives and mothers. The world has its own perceptions of motherhood and what a wife should or should not be. However, God’s design for these two roles is what unmarried women should strive to understand and walk in.

In your opinion, should Christian women have careers? Why or why not?

Of course Christian women should have careers. The Bible says that we have all been given different giftings and these gifts are to be exercised in the market place, in the court rooms, in the fashion design centers, in the schools, in the catering business. Wherever a Christian woman finds herself, she needs to understand that God has positioned her in that place to be a witness to Him through the many gifts he has put in her. If we were all in church, then who [would] go out and minister to the lost? No one. Hence we need to be in the market place working out our gifting and realizing that there is a difference to the way we do things.

Where should women feature in Kenyan/African politics?

Women should be featuring a great deal in politics, not in a spirit of competition with men but for the sake of the other women who do not have a voice or the education. A woman truly understands the struggle of making her mark in the midst of a male dominated society. When she takes up political office she is not just representing herself but the many other women in her society. For instance, the issue of female circumcision can be well-addressed if woman are at the forefront of campaigns against it compared to men.

Who inspires you?

For me it’s not only who inspires me but what….Love inspires me. God has been my primary inspiration. I usually close my eyes when I am praying and I visualize the Lord holding my hand and walking with me every step of the way. Am inspired by the love of God in my life and in the lives of people around me. When I listen to testimonies of what God has done in people’s lives, those really inspire me.

What has been the darkest moment of your life so far? How did you overcome it?

My darkest moment was when I was confronted with the fear of dying in a war-torn country of Sierra Leone. My dad was working there for the U.N and one Sunday morning at 3:00am, [thanks to a coup d'état], my family was surrounded by rebels who would stop at nothing to get what they wanted. At that time, they wanted money and vehicles. It’s truly by God’s grace that we managed to escape from Sierra Leone into Guinea through a United Nations Food Program ship vessel without any harm done to us. I remember my mum telling us, “All that will save us is God so pray”. Prayer surely worked because the next day U.N security came for us at home and they took us on board the food vessel. We were not allowed to carry anything. It was all about saving our lives. We walked out of a fully furnished house and left with nothing other than the clothes on our bodies.

What is that Bible verse that keeps you going when you feel like you’re about to give up?

There are times the pressure just feels too much and the word that keeps me going is Philippians 4:6 “Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving make your request known unto God and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and minds through Christ Jesus”. Jesus paid a great price for my peace and joy and I refuse to allow circumstances to dictate my attitude. It took a long time to develop this balance in the midst of crisis but I finally did and it is a great place to be at.

Who is God to you?
God is the love of my life. I have known no other that loves me the way Jesus does.

Anything else you’d like to add?

God is always in control, no matter what we face in life as His children. He allows the pains, the hurt and the storm to refine us so that we can come to the place of submission to him and acceptance of his love that we crave for and look for in all the wrong places.

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Define “woman”, according to Imat.

Woman is truth, strength, love, integrity, the vine from which her family sprouts forth. She is wise, humble, understanding, a visionary, a true friend, good counselor a go getter, warrior of faith and protector!

Tell us about your childhood.

There are many fond memories and there were times that were difficult as in any home but both my parents gave us the best and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

How did your childhood influence your perception of the African woman?

I saw my mother every day, not knowing, watching her and being taught by her through her actions that a woman is worthy, she respects herself, she is intelligent, she loves and can achieve anything with the grace of God, despite what other people say.

My mother also made sure that we went to church and she has a faith outside of this world. She worked hard and demonstrated to us that hard work and determination are vital for success in life. It wasn’t easy for her but she shone in everything that she did, with such integrity, class, elegance and yet with so much humility. She was always paving the way, breaking barriers that no other woman dared try or even dream of. To this day, some of her achievements and pioneer have still not been broken.

When she had a mission nothing could or would stop her, it was her and her God. This has strongly influenced my perception of the African Woman in a lasting way. I live with the, the realization that I was blessed with an African mother, who prepared her children well through truth. Therefore I cannot say that I have a perception of the African woman but rather I know who an African Woman is. I have lived with great African women who have prepared me to be a new generation remarkable African Woman. Thank you Mummy I love you! Thank you Atat Pulu and Atat Karina I love you both so dearly!

Describe the first time you walked on a runway.

I had done a stint for The Body Shop, it was a Millennium theme. I was so very young, but it was really fun and all so exciting. I remember feeling proud that I got to represent people of colour. It was such a memorable day. However I soon began seriously pursuing other creative arts areas.

On August 20, 2009, you tweeted, “exciting times exciting times! all in God’s time.”  Why are these exciting times for you?

Oh yes I was excited, because of my NGO – Otino International. After months of red tape, I had made significant progress that day, though there are still some minor obstacles. I am excited for what the future holds. I could already see the smiling faces of the forgotten children that I was soon going to touch through the work on my NGO. It was both excitement and inspiration.

I have been blessed with an awesome family that is doing well in all their chosen fields. I also have been cast for the first ever production of Wole Soyinka’s Death and the King’s Horseman in Australia that opened 28th August. I played Iyaloja, the mother of the market, a strong African woman. It was an honour to be able to play this role. I am the first African woman in the history of Australian Theatre to play a role. It is so humbling as I am playing an older woman. At first I was a bit hesitant, but I guess God had other plans.

I have a book coming out before the third quarter is up. To top it all off I will be going home to Uganda in December this year.

Are these exciting times for Africa?

Yes. We are moving forward with the times, not just technology but we are changing slowly – look at the peaceful democratic elections that were recently held in Ghana and even the role that women are playing in African governments today. For the first time, oil, one of the most vital resources, is being discovered in many African countries, including Uganda. Economic growth has picked up although slowed down a bit by the current economic crisis. Millions of Africans own mobile phones and can reach beyond borders. We have the World Cup that will be held next year in South Africa and our movies are recognized by the world. An African Woman, Dr. Asha Rose Migoro from Tanzania, is the second highest official in the UN. The first female African Lecturer in Australia, Dr. Rose Aderolili, who now also is a very senior official with the UN is another role model. We are living in exciting, historic times.

You are a performing artist. Singer/songwriter, dancer, actress, poet, model, author – in what order did these come?

I believe that I started dancing first and then everything evolved into the one – they just came hand in hand. However I also have a degree in Biomedical Science and a Masters in Clinical Data Management that has given me a strong educational foundation, through which I am qualified international pharmaceutical drug monitor.

You are a natural in front of the camera. How did this come about?

I am not sure. I think being natural to me means being comfortable in your own skin. When you know that though you are different, unique, genuine and confident, you feel comfortable anywhere, even in front of the screen where people will either encourage or even try and pull you down. But when you know the I AM then you know who you are and the camera is just that, a camera.

Are you a natural behind the camera as well?

I believe that I am because I know the I AM, the Potter who has made me perfect in His sight and image. Maybe not to the world and according to its standards, but I am who I am and I love it because God’s standards are not of this world. I am as natural as African women driving with rollers in her hair all wrapped up in a kitenge to go to the shops, as I so often do.

Describe your testimony/journey in faith.

One word – redeemed. I have had a winding journey where I have been faced with all kinds of situations, but as we know no situation or circumstance is permanent. God has always been there for me, at my lowest times when I cried all night and at my peaks such as this interview.

Who is God to you?

He is my Rock, my everything. God is my Father, He is my Best-Friend, my King, my Saviour, my Redeemer, my Protector, my Strong-hold, my Shield. Without him I honestly don’t know where I would be.

What is/are your favourite Bible verse(s)?

I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me. Who can be against me when God is for me? I need not fear for they are only men, what can they do to me? He will blow away the wicked like chaff. He is able to provide exceedingly and abundantly. God so loved the world that he gave us his only son. I will be with you. You need not fear the arrows by day nor by night, a thousand will fall by your side ten thousand on your right side but no harm will come to you. Wisdom she is your best friend. No weapon formed against you shall prosper. Do unto others as you would like do unto you. The rejected corner stone became the corner stone of the home. Do not build your foundation/home on sand. Be careful the company you keep. Always seek good counsel and invest. For we have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power love and sound mind. He has taken away the sting from death and his heel has crushed Satan and he is seated at the right hand of the Father! Hallelujah! I have too many? each are for a season of life.

Do you consider it blasphemous to refer to yourself as a goddess? Why or why not?

Oh most definitely blasphemous, as to me and in Greek mythology the goddess was the female equal to their Greek gods and therefore to be a goddess I would have to be the Most High’s equal, a female counterpart. But clearly I am not as I was made in His image and therefore I am His child. I am a reflection of Him and not an equal to Him.

You are from Northern Uganda – were you raised there, or abroad?

Yes I am, I was not raised there but I went home every 2 to 3 years for at least a minimum of 3 -4 months at a time. I was raised abroad, but we were brought up as though we were at home, so when we did go home nothing was unfamiliar, not the food, not the language nothing it was all the same.

Northern Uganda has come a long way in 20 years – do you agree with this statement?

I agree that Northern Uganda has come a long way, but not in a positive way. It has been in a war that has claimed so many innocent lives, that has robbed people of the right to live in their ancestral land. It has killed the economy of the North; it has wiped out entire families and is killing traditions that were once passed down because there are no family members left. I know because I am one of those who could not go home where my father was born because of the Lord’s Resistance Army. People have been killed and are afraid of being raided. Millions of people spent 20 years in internally displaced camps, during which time thousands died from diseases and from raids by the LRA. Thousands of abducted children are still missing – not knowing whether they are dead or are still being held captive and forced to kill innocent people. Even now that many displaced people have gone back to their villages, famine has started to kill them. It is painful.

How do you feel about the developmental disparity between this area and the rest of Uganda, and what do you think can be done to facilitate the narrowing of this gap?

It is a concern because in any nation where inequality in opportunities and wealth do exist, there can never be lasting peace. I believe that everyone in a country should be given equal opportunities irrespective of gender and tribe. Unless the nation can treat everyone equally and make everyone feel included in development, enmity will be created, especially within the younger generation that often feel left out and see no future. All stakeholders – government, civil societies, traditional and cultural leaders, and indeed the men and women of Uganda need to aim and work very hard to achieve a common goal of restoring the North and the surrounding areas to the same level as the rest of the country, because we are one nation, regardless. There are some programs already put in place to fast-track the development of Northern Uganda, but these need to be expanded and deepened. The most immediate should develop agriculture and ensure food security. Many are already dying from hunger.

How does war affect the woman of Africa?

War has the most adverse effects on the female population especially in the Sub-Saharan countries economically, to the point where the UN and World Bank have even given the term “feminization of poverty” to describe the dire economic effect on women in conflict areas. War brings about gender equality issues. Women and girls are so often sexually assaulted and made to feel inferior about being attacked and are victims of repeated attacks. War brings about economic hardships for the sub-Saharan countries as women play a vital role in the economy as previously stated above. A thriving economy values its women. War brings about health concerns and issues, where women who don’t have access to medical care especially during pregnancy are subjected to high mortality rates. They also play an integral role in child healthcare which also causes increased mortality rates where women are not provided with vaccines, inadvertently once again affecting the economy through the future generations – labour force. War brings about educational stagnation; women are usually the first to be left behind with education and war robs the woman of her God-given right to be educated, once again affecting the countries’ literacy rate. Conflict has a negative impact on the vital role of women in the African society and it robs her of her pride as the mother of her nation- young and old. War removes able-bodied men from families, leaving the African women with the burden of bringing up the family alone. War has also exposed many African women to the HIV/AIDS through rapes, or through forced prostitution to survive when they find themselves displaced and as refugees.

How can the African woman recover from war?

African women have organized themselves first to ensure that peace is sustained, for without peace, there can be no recovery. Many women have formed peace-related NGOs to achieve these objectives. They have also fought hard to ensure that government reconstruction programmes do take into account the special concerns and challenges of women. For the Africans in the Diaspora, I believe that we also have a role to play. We can advocate for peace in our countries, create awareness of the situations in the countries in which we live outside Africa, and support peace-initiatives and reconstruction programmes back home. We need to also petition to ensure that our governments back home also do their bit in order to help re-build our nations, regardless of tribal backgrounds. We need to be proactive and help ourselves, which I believe that we are already doing, through NGOs and remittance.

How can women contribute to peace-building?

As I have already mentioned, African women have organized themselves to address the issues of peace and conflict resolution. However, women’s issues also need to be addressed in conjunction with Aid organizations and governments, and other development partners such as the UN and the World Bank. Gender equality issues need to be addressed whereupon women are given a voice by travelling to these conflict areas and getting them to share their true stories and how war affects their role as the woman. All governments need to put in their action plan the issues of the woman and ensure the women in these conflict areas are involved in the rehabilitative peace process.

What do you say to someone who asks where God is during times of war? For example, in what ways would you comfort one of the Aboke mothers if this was 1996 and their daughters were abducted two weeks ago?

This is my home area; my cousins themselves have gone missing. I can only say as we do back-home that our God does not cause pain and conflicts, and he does not see and turn his back. God is such a loving Father that he pains when his children pain, and that he has told us that in this world, we will go through tribulations, but that he will see us through it all. I can only say that our God has not caused this, he has not willed this for any of his children and that he will not let those that have taken away our children and loved ones go unpunished. The time for the wicked l come but for now we must continue to pray with force. We must support our leaders and continue to highlight this issue both nationally and internationally, with God’s Spirit. Trusting that our God the living God will avenge them

“Do not be the ashes from the flames of your parents.” What role do African women play in the progress of our continent?

This was part of my Miss Uganda Speech; however it was my mother that would tell us this proverb at the beginning of the school year, or after school report time reminding us that our future was in our hands. My father too would confirm, telling us that education is the only way. What they had done was the best they could for us and now it was time for us to take over and not be as ash when the flames burn out but rather to fuel the fire even brighter than they had done for us. African women are vital and play an integral role in the progress of our continent both back at home and in Diaspora. There are so many entrepreneurs’ back home   all realms of the business industry from small business to multi-million dollar companies, education, health, the arts and every viable industry. In Diaspora to compliment women back in Africa, we have educated women lecturing at universities, women making key decisions as part of the UN and world-bank, doctors, lawyers, activists, all re-sculpting and re-shaping the image of Africa and restoring her to her rightful glory!

How would you explain your poem, “King of Kings, Queen of Queens,” to someone who believes that only Jesus Christ is the King of kings?

I initially wrote his poem for the child that had no-one, no father, and no mother and to those that felt the world has thrown them away. I wanted to instill hope and encouragement to them reminding them that they are King of Kings and Queens of Queens being from the motherland, and the fact that the Bible says anyone who is of God is the same as Christ, the King of Kings, and the Lord of Lords. I believe that this principle can also be transferred to a believer. I want such children to know that they are significant and that they are from a lineage that they can be proud of, that they are made in the Most High’s image who is the King of Kings and so they should hold their head high and know that the Holy Spirit, that same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead has power to change their situation in a split second.

How should African women and men relate to each other?

There is a saying that a “bird cannot fly with just one wing”. Africa cannot develop either by men or women alone. A family functions well when both men and women in it work complementarily. Men and women should work and live together with love and respect. There has to be an environment where there can be love and mutual respect. We must instill in school systems the history of our men and women. We should educate our children from the youngest age of schooling so that they grow up respecting each other.

We must also as Christians seek [God’s] word and understand that Eve came from Adam’s rib. She was not from his foot nor above from his head. She came from his side and when you stand side by side you become one, you are equal. It is not a parasitic relationship but a symbiotic relationship that flourishes.

Is it possible to be virtuous in 2009?

Yes, I believe most definitely so, are we not the temple of the Holy Spirit? Once we get that revelation it is clear. But we must also know that we must also forge relationships that also value the Holy Spirit in order to be able to stay virtuous.

Any random relationship advice you’d like to give?

Watch, listen and learn from others especially close ones and their relationships even when it hurts. Also watch the person whether it is friend or potential partner and see how they treat others especially those that the world doesn’t place importance on. See how they treat their family and you will see their true character.

A good friend or potential partner will always respect you and never hinder you but help you blossom and help you reach your anointed potential.

Never make excuses for the other person and don’t be afraid to see the truth in the other person, because if they do it now they will do whatever it is as the relationship progresses in greater magnitude.

Finally, always value yourself first so that whatever type of relationship you enter into, you enter it with good intentions and with the wisdom of discernment that will eliminate a lot of heartache. Remember love is patient and kind; it is slow to anger and quick to forgive.

What advice would you give to women who would like to become performing artists?

Go for it! But first prepare – know who you are and set your standards as woman. Don’t let the world tell you what you need to be or look like in order to get a role – know you are unique and only accept criticism from those that are qualified, not nonsensical banter that will just confuse you and deflate your esteem. Know yourself and go out there and get it girl with God’s right hand upon your endeavours.

How can we use the arts to spread the gospel?

The living word is the best script ever. I just finished a production at my church called the Storms of Life, based on the psalms and it was so powerful people who were not even Christians that attended were moved. There is power in the spirit, there is life in His words and there are people that are hurting that just need to hear His words. I called my mother that same night and told her it was by far the best show I had ever done and not because I didn’t try my best at the others but because there was a higher agenda. There were people’s lives at stake and people were being touched.

Our God is not a boring God at all. Just look at the different nationalities, the vast flora, the assortment of wildlife that we have and the beauty of the oceans and forests…

Do you think these are the last days?

The events of the world are nothing short of what the book of Revelation states. I believe that we need to be ready, we need to prepare in everything that we do. I believe that we are in the beginnings of the end times, and all in all Jesus is seated at the right hand and he will come again in glory and every knee shall bow and confess that he is Lord.

Anything else you’d like to add?

I would like to thank Yakuti for this amazing opportunity. I would like every man, woman and child to know that no matter what you are going through, God is right there and that, that same pain, that rain is showering you to prepare you for un?imaginable growth because you are precious and on your own journey with him. Forget what the world says, seek the truth, value who you are and don’t be afraid to walk away even if you are left with nothing. Have faith and keep trusting him, He will return more to you than you could ever dream of, just hold onto his living word and seek his guidance and wisdom. I know I am living proof and testament to this advice that I give you. God Bless you, stay humble and Glory be to God!

Images:

Copyright Kipepeo Images

Copyright Alex Faulkner Photography

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None of these achievements have affected her humble but powerful outlook on life, and she does not draw from them when asked to define herself. Nkatha, in her own words, is “a resilient woman. I’m able to bounce back quickly when I see some setback or a hurdle in front of me. I’m not the type that sits and mourns about it for ten years. I also believe that I’m very humble and simple. I believe that because of the way I love people, I should be very comfortable and able to interact with people at all levels of life. I’ve met the elite – presidents and CEOs of companies in the states, in England too. But I am still that girl that will really sit properly with a person with a humble background in their community and share their plate of food comfortably, and this person would not feel uncomfortable around me because that’s how my mum raised me. I’m also very aggressive and very, very optimistic. I don’t believe in people who are pessimistic.” Most of all, as with all virtuous women, Nkatha loves the Lord.

Born in Tigania, Kenya, to an army doctor and an educator who “is the only human being that I know will not turn her lights off without praying for me,” Nkatha is the first of three children. She grew up in the city, raised by staunch Christians in a home where going to church was a must every Sunday. “There was no other option,” she says, laughing, but adds that she is thankful for that foundation because it is what has made her who she is today. She always knew that her destiny was to be a singer. She joined choirs in church and even started her own choir. “Most of the people in the choir, I didn’t know what their destiny was but I knew mine was to sing,” she says. And so she pursued it.

Nkatha knew within her that she was on a journey towards big things and refused to settle for a cheaply-made album in the then fledgling Kenyan music industry. So she took some time away from everyone and went to a place known as Katoloni in Eastern Kenya to fast and pray. Her prayers were not in vain. In fact, they were answered in a miraculous way. “When I came back from the fast, I met a friend of mine – and she always wants to be anonymous – [who] told me that when I had gone for prayer and fasting, God spoke to her to give me 200,000 Kenya shillings to go and pay for a recording of my album in Johannesburg, South Africa. This lady paid for everything.”

Nkatha went to Johannesburg, recorded her first album and began to tour Europe, performing her music.  Beautiful music videos were shot in Greenwich, London and Lake Nakuru, Kenya.

However, music was not it for Nkatha. She felt there was something more. “I had this passion to do charity work in a developed country. I wanted to understand what it feels like from a donor’s perspective. I came to the States visiting as a musician and I heard about Heifer International. They had a vacancy and I applied for the job.” Out of 120 applicants from different parts of the world, Nkatha was chosen for this job. Her experience with Heifer International exposed her more to hunger, poverty, HIV/AIDS, suffering and issues of women.

A major moment in Nkatha’s life came while she was working for this organization. “One day in June 2006,” she narrates, “I was seated in my office and I received lots of emails from my friends in Kenya, the States and England. They said they were attaching a document that was published by the BBC. This document was published about an issue in Tigania, Meru, where I come from. There was a mutilation shock, and there was a picture of a beautiful woman holding a little girl. A girl in Tigania had circumcised herself because of stigma, and because she was tired of being teased and being called names by other girls in the community. Her mom was crying in the picture and said she had refused her daughter to go through female circumcision. The girl cut off her genitals and haemorrhaged to death.”

…go to page 2

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When I ask why she sings, Enid says, “I can’t seem to stop even if I wanted to,” and smiles. Then she continues, “No, seriously, it’s the one thing that make me truly happy and keeps God around. He dwells in the praises of His people, remember? I like to keep Him around – it helps. No matter how low I am, singing about Him lifts me right out of it.” It is when she asks, “Would you stop singing?” that I realize I know exactly where she’s coming from and agree with her entirely.

Enid grew up in Kitale, a small town in Western Kenya. “There,” she says, “everybody knows you and you know everyone, it’s one big family and your neighbours’ parents had the right to spank you if caught being naughty. My immediate family, however, has five members.” Her mother, Janet, loved to farm. “My most memorable childhood memories are of harvesting maize. No one could escape that. We’d come back home tired and bruised and my mom would nurse every single scratch, only to put us to the same task the very following day. [I'm] glad she finally gave up farming. We also had tiny vegetable gardens my mother made us keep, at first, we did it begrudgingly but we learned to love it.”

Her father, David, read the family Bible stories every night. “I really loved that,” Enid says. “He would read with an animated voice and the effect was spectacular. Thanks to him I can still remember intricate details of most bible stories.”

Enid has two brothers, Abraham and Sam, and is the only girl. Her family members are her greatest fans and they help keep her spiritually grounded. She is confident that it is by God’s grace and by their support that she is where she is today. Her busy schedule is no excuse for her to escape the chores whenever she goes home. “Every day I spend with my family is the happiest moment of my life,” she says. “For most people, that is unimaginable but for real, you should meet my parents and brothers then you’ll know exactly what I mean.”

Enid, who worships with the Pentecostal Evangelistic Fellowship of Africa, knew what she was doing when she got born again on 5^th December, 1997, a date she clearly remembers. “I grew up in a Christian environment and the things of God were firmly implanted in me from a tender age so my decision to receive Christ was a very natural transition. The road has been rough, to say the least, and like every Christian I have had my fair share of struggles, sometimes to a point where I find myself asking God ‘why do You let me struggle with this, yet You have the power to simply take it away?’ He has on occasion spared me so much pain and suffering but most of the time He has reminded me His grace is sufficient and it has been more than sufficient for me.”

God’s grace was sufficient even during the violence that rocked Kenya in the months after the 2007 elections. Enid lost everything she owned. “I can’t begin to tell you what exactly I went through but I learned that it doesn’t matter how much wealth we amass. It can be lost in a second. We all need to learn to treasure God for who He is and not what He can do for us or what we can get from Him.”

The story behind Enid’s album, Wewe ni Bwana (You are Lord), is an interesting one, wrought with struggles, persistence and endurance. She recorded the album at Reuben Kigame’s studio while still pursuing her Bachelor of Science in Microbiology at Moi University in Eldoret, Kenya. She had to align her priorities and plan her time. Wewe ni Bwana, the title song, was written last. “I had almost run out of ideas – writer’s block maybe. But I remember telling God I need Him to give me one more song. Two days later, I wrote the song Wewe ni Bwana start to finish without editing anything and it’s amazing how God has used that particular song for His glory.”

I ask Enid about “Yakuti” issues like I call them. I try to get her definition of beauty. “I would generally describe beauty as a property that makes the subject in question irresistible.” She explains, citing the late Mercy Kigame as an example. “In the years that I got to know and interact with  her, even on her very bad days I knew without a doubt I wanted to be just like her in every way. If other people can be encouraged to be better people just watching you live your life – that’s beauty, baby! Looks do not make the woman. What lies within eventually comes to the surface and it’s in your best interest if it is something nice like kindness.”

We venture into dressing and make-up and she gets stern in her classic, funny way. “Hii maneno ya kuvaa nguo juu uliona nani amevaa na anakaa poa (this business of wearing something just because so-and-so wore it and looks nice) needs to stop. Find out what works for you and what you are comfortable in – you are going to be in it all day.”

Her advice to us? “The African woman is beautiful in every way. God has given us beautiful skin that isn’t prone to disease, curves that are the envy of many… we need not worry and focus too much on the outside, it’s there already. Why not spend that time doing the important stuff like being better Christians, better employees, wives, sisters, friends, and mothers?”

How do I know that Enid believes virtue is possible? All I had to do was ask her.”Being a woman of virtue is not unattainable as perceived by many neither is it easily achieved,” she responded. “It takes daily commitment and conscious effort but the results are so worth it. How do you know you are there? People won’t be able to shut up. Mercy’s been gone two years and I still talk about her.”

Enid used to play very good netball “till I discovered French fries. However, I have one solid belief. I can excel at anything I set out to do. God promises it and I have seen it to be true in my life.” In her free time, she plays the piano, listens to music, swims, or reads scientific literature. “When I don’t feel like doing any of the above… I sleep.”

Her journey is not about to end. She is not done studying, and would like to further her education. She says, in closing, “I am not where I want to be in regard to virtue but I am determined to get there and I will. Watch this space.”

I’m definitely watching prayerfully! Let’s keep Enid in our prayers, ladies!

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This lover of books, quotes, laughter and fun had a love above everything for the Lord and that continued into her adult years. She is now mainly involved in missions, and when I ask for a definition of that term, she says, “Missions is giving your time to people who need it, going out who people who really need to know about Christ. Maybe they do know about Him but they’ve not seen someone who lives out a Christian life to fully make the decision to be committed to Christ.”

Grace is young, having just finished high school over a year ago, but this fact does not hinder her in any way from serving God. She is grounded enough in her faith to have healthy (but not unequal) friendships with people who are not born again. “They already know my stand. I do this, I don’t do this. This is where I go, this is not where I go – I’ve made it clear.” Her mentor have helped to inspire her and keep her firm in her faith. She has a disciple. At her church, she is the usher, makes sure the songs are right for every Sunday, and serves the refreshments.

Because she is a pastor’s child, she lives in a home that receives visitors on a regular basis. “Some leave at 1am and some come as early as 6am,” she says. She has to help out with the guests but does not mind it. She loves people.

Looking at Grace, one might think that she is bubbly and happy because everything has gone well for her, but this is not the case. She, like every other Christian, has undergone trials that have helped to refine her and strengthened her for where she is now and where God is taking her.

One of the darkest moments of her life was when her elder sister passed away. Grace was only nine years old at the time. Because their parents were busy, her sister had become like a mother figure to Grace and their younger brother. It was a difficult period for the entire family.

The other dark moment, Grace says, was her adolescent years. “They were bad,” she says reflectively. “Really bad.I had a low self-esteem. I thought of killing myself so many times. I even tried once. I never thought I was worth it. I thought I was really ugly. REALLY ugly – so, what’s the use of living. I took [tailor’s] pins, drove them through my hands, looked at them, and when I removed them… there was no blood. I got a friend to walk with me through it all. It’s been a journey, a tough one, and finally, in form 4, I broke away from all that.”

It did not come from nowhere. Grace realized she had to deal with rejection she had faced from her peers, years before high school, when she was still at Nairobi River Primary School in Buruburu, Nairobi. “I was round. I was rotund. With big glasses. In Eastlands, kids can be mean. I was a geek. And I was saved. It didn’t make sense. This chick is always in books, she’s the teacher’s pet, she’s bright… and I was a tomboy. I’d be on roofs after class, on the walls… it was like, I was rejected when I was young, so I felt, I’m not pretty, I’m not worth it.”

She did not have much trouble dealing with it in primary school because she went home every evening and this was a source of solace. However, when she got to high school and had to board, she found herself all alone. “…it was just me. It was rough. And I didn’t think I had a life. So I’d talk about my friends. I didn’t think I came from a worthy family. I didn’t think I had anything to offer. I felt so alone. I didn’t have someone to lean on, and so the thoughts started growing and manifesting themselves.”

When she realized that her situation was affecting “everything I had,” Grace decided she wanted to come out of it. However, this seemed to make things worse and she began to sink even deeper into despair. “It was pain. But you cant put a finger to where the pain is. It was just a lot of pain and a lot of hurt. In form 3 I cried a lot. For days, for weeks, for months. Why am I so ugly, why am I not worth it…”

She overcame these tough years through “a lot of prayer, a lot of commitment, and proclamation. I had to tell myself you’re beautiful, you deserve to live, there’s nothing wrong with you, you have a purpose… and having a friend to walk with me through it all.”

One of the most joyous moments of Grace’s life was when a group of students she had been discipling at Senior Chief Koinange high school completed the discipleship course. The number of students who attended the studies had almost quadrupled. “When I went to the school, there were 30 girls and one boy – and it’s a mixed school. I kept on praying that God brings more of them to Bible study. By the time they were clearing, they were 48 of the fourth formers and 120 students. Later on when they had all cleared, we went together to Arboretum [forest] and they talked about how they had a wonderful time and how they were going to continue living the faith away from school.”

She has come a long way, and still has big dreams. She wants to be an economist and a statistician. But she does not hesitate to add that she wants to move to Garissa – very soon. Surprised, I ask what it is that draws her to that place, wondering in my mind why someone would study economics and statistics and move to one of the driest and most-remote parts of Kenya. “I want to become an economist and a missionary,” she elaborates. “I think I got the motivation from my parents. My father is a lecturer, he’s a pastor, he’s a missionary, he’s a jack-of-all-trades. My dream is to live in Garissa. I noticed since I was young I had a special connection with Muslims. Muslims are a bit reserved in how they relate to people, especially Christians. But with me it was different. Garissa and North-Eastern is mainly dominated by Muslims. I want to reach out to them and tell them, there is Christ.we have to tell them, even though they know. They want to see someone who lives what we’re telling them. I want to go there and live among them. You can’t impact someone by just telling them. At first I wanted to go to Saudi Arabia, but I moved closer home.”

Grace shares that there are differences between life in a boarding high school, and life after that. “I’ve grown more in how I relate with Christ. In school, it was like, you have to be this way because people are seeing you. This image is cut out for you. But when I came out I realized it was me to wak with Christ eveyr day. It was me to pray, read the Bible, make sure I have to go to church. Taking everything slowly and trying to understand why I’m saved.” It has developed her character. She describes character as “doing what needs to be done even when you don’t feel like doing it. Knowing what is expected of you and doing it despite what you think or feel. It’s required of you to live a godly life if you’re a Christian – even if you don’t feel like you’re saved.” Her favourite Bible verse is Matthew 6:33 – Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Her take on relationships is very interesting and encouraging. “Sometimes we’re not real. You want a Christian guy, but you’re not real. If you want someone who’s sold out for Christ, you have to be that. We should also believe that God has someone special for us. If you just trust in God – He knows everything that you want. It’s also wise, when you’re going into a relationship, to ask God if this is the person. We can avoid a lot of heartache if we pray – and listen! Seek God in everything we do, and be real.

“I was taught one thing. Not everyone likes it, but it works. Master, Mission, Mate. You have to know your Master. Who’s He in your life? You have to know the Creator. Why is He important? Have a walk with Him – it has to be steady. Learn what He likes and doesn’t like. Connect with Him. Get your mission. We all have a purpose in life. Basically everyone was given one mission in life; to worship Him in everything that we do. But He has given each and every person a [nother] mission. Each and every person depends on the other – so you have to get your mission. And the last one is mate. He’ll bring the right person to you. Someone who’s mission correlates with you. Since God is going to give you your mate – He knows what is in you. He’ll give you the person who’s just right for you.”

I ask her what she would like to tell African women, just to encourage those who might be undergoing the same trial she went through in her adolescence; feeling worthless, ugly and unloved. She says, “Read Psalm 139 again. I know that full well – because Christ says so. He made you unique. He made you different. We’re His creation. He loves you. You should know fully well that you’re fearfully and wonderfully made. No matter what anyone thinks. No matter what even you think.”

According to Grace, virtue is very possible. “We have it in us,” she says confidently. “But you have to connect with the Master to know how you are inside.”

Let’s keep Grace in our prayers, ladies!

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I love working for Yakuti. But I remember wanting to scream when I got a call this morning saying that the interview I had painstakingly conducted a few weeks ago, the one for which I woke up at some odd hour, the one I did when I had a cold, the one for which I had a wonderful story, the one for which I was working on a marvelous slide show, you get the picture, would not be featured in this issue! It is the most painful moment a journalist can go through, but the wonderful thing is that God always confirms what He tells us to do. Plus, I get the opportunity to vent, something I probably would not do in a conventional magazine. So I am thankful for Yakuti and its unconventional ways, and for the fact that actually, pain can be an avenue to true and valuable gain.

The woman of Africa is celebrated on Yakuti every month, but this month we celebrate the gift of our womanhood in a different way: by acknowledging and reminding ourselves that every woman of God is a virtuous woman. Yes, virtue is possible, and yes we do derive encouragement from women who are doing wonderful things in different professions, but does that mean the jobless woman, the single mother, the high-school dropout, and every woman who doesn’t feature on this page is not virtuous? Of course not! By virtue (lol, no pun intended) of the fact that Jesus died for us, we are all declared virtuous. Instead of looking for this quality in all the wrong places, we must instead begin to realize that it is within us. and instead of trying to shine in our own strength, we must instead rely on God to give us the ability to shine in the way that glorifies Him the most.

This year, I dare you to be a virtuous woman. And I’m going to classify this general dare into five specific “sub-dares”, if you will.

I Dare You To Be You.

If you are defined by your looks, your position at work, your degree, the amount of money in your bank account, the number of friends you have, the kind of family you come from, then you have it all wrong. Would you still say “God is good!” if you woke up one morning and found that you had no money and no friends? And if you come from a not-so-affluent family, do you consider yourself of less value or worth? Are you trying to be like the next singer, movie star, pastor, author, friend? Who are “YOU” – without all these external factors, who would “YOU” be? That’s the person I’m daring you to find this year. If you spend time trying to be someone else, then there will be nobody doing what you are supposed to be doing and being who you are supposed to be.

I Dare You To Get Over Your Issues.

Sisters, jealousy, insecurity, immaturity, inferiority complexes and low self-esteem plague many people and many relationships. But these things are only brought on by believing the lie that the world tells us and measuring ourselves according to the world’s standards. What nobody ever tells us is, no single person can accomplish all these standards no matter what we try. Something will always be wrong with us if we look at ourselves from a world’s eye view. We’ll be too tall or too short, too fat or too skinny, too idle or too busy, and many of us will have a combination of factors. One will be too short, too skinny and too busy, another will be too fat, too daft and too poor, and so on! If you spend time comparing yourself to other people you will lose time you could spend to better yourself. Instead of being jealous of your friend for her gift, why not be happy for her and happy for your own different gift which you can then maximize? Don’t be angry with the person who let you down, instead forgive them and become good friends with the Saviour who never will! If someone didn’t say hi to you it doesn’t always mean they hate you, have hard feelings or that you are less beautiful than when they said hi. It could simply mean they didn’t see you.

I Dare You To Love.

Love God. Love yourself. Love your neighbor. If your claim to fame is that you pay tithe and offering every Sunday, what do you do when a hungry street child asks you for a coin? After all that’s one form of offering. You say you are a Christian so why do you gossip in the hallways about your boss? Love begins with God my sisters. We love God first, that way we see our value, then we love ourselves. Then, we understand that other people are just as special as we are, so we love them too.

I Dare You To Stop Living A Lie.

We need to find out the truth and believe it. What we believe reflects itself in the life we live. If you truly believe God is real, you will live your life to honour Him. If you believe what He says about you, you will treat yourself like His child. If you understand that you are imperfect, you will stop trying to be perfect and work on being excellent. You are known, chosen and loved by God. Whose report shall you believe? His or the world’s?

I Dare You To Take Care Of Yourself.

Simple things like exercise, drinking water, eating healthy are forgotten in this “instant”, sedentary world of today. I dare you to try and get off junk food for a year, take a walk or jog everyday. To stay off the phone and read your Bible instead. What we do spiritually manifests itself physically.

Who knows, you just might be the next person we will call upon to share exactly how Virtue has been Possible in your life! If we don’t, here’s one more dare: tell everyone you meet your story, and let’s glorify God!!

A Virtuous and Prosperous 2009 to you!

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Our great God is not called Yahweh Yireh (God Who Sees) for nothing. When we are undermined and forced to do certain things just because they are the laws of the land that He allowed us to be born into, He sees. He is aware of all the sons and daughters who grow up and rebel, causing their parents great heartache. He knows about the disadvantages that come with being a minority. He sees what subtle colonialism people experience even in the so-called new millennium. He hears the cry of every fighting baby and sees their flailing arms and legs as their body parts are pulled out and heads are crushed and dragged out of a woman’s birth canal. God is concerned about discrimination, so if you are discriminated against, take courage – He sees.

Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah and Tirzah were the five daughters of a man named Zelophehad, who lived in the days of Moses and the exodus from Egypt to Canaan. During this period, when a man died, his inheritance was passed on to his sons. His daughters hardly got anything from his property; I figure that was because women were married off and became members of the new families into which they were married. If the man had no sons, his inheritance was given to his brethren. Zelophehad died having no sons. The story of his daughters is found in Numbers 27:1-7.

After their father’s death, these five young women approached Moses and said to him, “Our father died in the wilderness, and he was not in the company of them that gathered themselves against the LORD in the company of Korah [**Addendum: Note the result of rebellion**]; but died in his own sin, and had no sons. Why should the name of our father be done away… because he had no son? Give us therefore a possession among the brethren of our father.”

Moses, not knowing what to do, took their petition to the LORD, and God said, “The daughters of Zelophehad speak right: thou shalt surely give them a possession of the land among their father’s brethren.”

I love this story.

The first thing Moses did was take his problem to the LORD. I pray that I will learn to still my soul and seek our Father before I grab my cellphone or go over to a friend’s house to vent.

Although God expects us to respect the people that He has allowed to take up leadership (Rom 13:1), He does not will for us to blindly follow unacceptable laws and traditions just because they are laws and traditions. There is wisdom in many practices, but we must note, the fact that “they have done it for centuries” does not necessarily make it right. The laws of the land said that only men could gain an inheritance. These young women discerned that submission does not equal being a doormat. They also knew that the inheritance laws had a loophole.

We should be passionate for just causes. Action always accompanies passion. Do you want it to be said that you could have been a better and faithful servant of Christ, or that you actually were the best you could be? Faith without actions is dead. Jesus loved us, but if He had stayed in the majestic comforts of heaven and loved us from a distance, we would be lost and hopeless. He was passionate for us, and did something about it. What you are passionate for/about is what you will direct your energy toward. Passivity is just a passion for the continuation of evil. On realizing that there was a loophole in the law, the daughters of Zelophehad went straight to the leaders – Moses and Eleazar. They got out of their comfort zones and hit the turf that would cause a turnover. And they did it, not with a spirit of rebellion and hullabaloo, but with respect.

Do something about your earthly or spiritual situation. Manna from heaven ended in the wilderness. The only manna that exists today is the “hidden manna” in Rev 2:17, that will be given to saints after this life. We should not expect to see it in this life because we will not. No butler is going to bring our joy in a silver platter at the chime of a bell. In fact, even the manna in the wilderness had to be collected every morning and doubly on Fridays; God did not directly place it on anybody’s tongue and even if He had, they would have had to chew and swallow, to digest and excrete. We are not going to get anything if we get comfortable and sit on our behinds. Ye have not because ye ask not, James said in James 4:2. Ask, and it shall be given you (Matt 7:7). Don’t say God has refused to give you something if you have not asked for it. He will provide all our needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Phil 4:19), and if we know how to give good gifts to our children, we know that He who loves us more than we can love our children, will give us all good gifts if we ask Him (Matt 7:11, Luke 11:13). God will send the ravens to feed us, and give fish to the 5000, but He will not reward a lazy Christian. Stop that passivity right now. Life is a fight. The day you gave your life to Christ, things did not end, they began. His yoke is easy and His burden is light – so it is a joyful road that active Christians walk. The Bible says that the daughters of Zelophehad “stood before Moses… by the door of the tabernacle.” (Num 27:2) Hebrews says we should boldly approach the throne of grace (Heb 4:16). Go! And do not fear. We have boldness to enter the holy of holies by the blood of Jesus; we should draw near (Heb 10:19-25).

Christians discriminate against non-Christians, and vice versa. Tear down that label. Do they say God cannot love you because you sinned ten minutes, ten days, ten years ago? Do they say you should not come to Christ because you are a filthy rag? Do they say you cannot have fun except you be in the world? Tear it down; Jacob, your name is now Israel. Depressed, your name is now Joyful. Fill in the blanks as they apply to your situation: ____, your name is now ___. Be happy! You have an inheritance.

The names of Zelophehad’s daughters are arranged the same way each time they are mentioned in the Bible; but that is not the order in which they were born. It is a blessing when you realize what their names mean and why they were arranged that way. They remind me of a dear friend’s journey in this life.

Zelophehad: Possible meanings: Firstborn; Shadow (Shelter) from dread;
Mahlah – Hebrew: Machla – meaning fat, infirmity;
Noah – from Hebrew Noa – movement/wandering;
Hoglah – patridge, dancing (e.g. after mourning);
Milcah – from Hebrew Malka, meaning queen;
Tirzah – to please or be acceptable to.

We are born in infirmity, and we wander, seeking our purpose and peace. As we search for meaning and wholeness, we are beaten down by the pressures and pains of life. When we find peace and purpose, we cannot help but dance! And in knowing ourselves, we realize we are royalty – the Bride of Christ – Christ is the King, therefore as His bride, the church is royalty. We are acceptable in God’s sight because of the sacrifice that God made! God is our Father, like Zelophehad was a father. Zelophehad’s name possibly means firstborn. Jesus Christ, who is One with the Father, is the Firstborn of every creature (Col 1:15) and the Firstborn from the dead (Col 1:17). He is our Shelter and we dwell in peace in the shadow of His wings (Psalm 91). The Bible says that we are heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ (Romans 8:17).

Don’t let anybody deprive you of your God-given inheritance.

Blessings!

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Little did this young lady know, God had something else in store for her.

Born in Nigeria, Psalmist Lois moved to the United States at age 9. Of her childhood, she says fondly, “When I think about home, I remember not being worried about anything. I just remember spending time with my family and having a lot of fun and eating fufu.”

Her name, Psalmist Lois, is not one that many Christian artistes her age would choose. Today, many artistes would rather identify with some worldly title than with the greatest psalmist of all time (King David). As a matter of fact, Psalmist Lois candidly admits that given the option, she would not have chosen it as her stage name. It was given to her by a pastor and mentor whom she met at church and who, after he had observed her in worship, began to refer to her as “Psalmist Lois.”

She laughs heartily as she thinks about it. “I would get mad, I’m like, what is Psalmist? I don’t like titles, stop calling me that. I didn’t even know what it is to be a psalmist. I told him, stop calling me Psalmist. If you call me Psalmist, I’ll call you Bishop. We’d joke around with each other like that.”

This mentor of hers, Pastor Courage Igene of All Nations United Church in Dallas, paid no attention to Psalmist Lois’ resistance. In the crusades he led where she was present, she would be called upon to lead praise and worship. And he would unashamedly refer to her as Psalmist Lois. “He had the eye to see more in me than just some girl who likes to sing about God,” she says. It is evident that she has now embraced the name as well as the calling that comes with it. It has not been all smooth sailing, however. It took a lot of time and prayer and growth for her to get to the level of ministry that she has reached.

After falling in love with Whitney and Chaka Khan, Psalmist Lois discovered, at age sixteen, that Greater Love was calling her. She had been singing in the worship team at her church but doing her own thing at the same time. She gave her life to the Lord during a conference by a Nigerian pastor, and that was the beginning of her goodbye to the secular world. “I used to go to church all the time but my heart wasn’t in it. I was willing to just do my thing and all that, but I remember one service we had a guest preacher, he came from Nigeria, and he gave an altar call and right there, I just went. I can’t explain to you why that time, because I’ve heard that altar call many times but I was just moved and that was when I gave my life to God. Shortly I was baptized. I was sixteen at that time.”

So does she think she sings like Whitney Houston? “Oh!” She laughs. “Actually, I don’t! I don’t sing like Whitney Houston. I admire her vocals, you know, and I admire her as an artist. But I definitely don’t sing like her. And I don’t even look up to her in that way anymore.”

Psalmist Lois explains that there is a difference between singing in the choir just for the sake of it, and leading people in worship not of oneself, but of God. “Little by little the word of God became real to me and started changing me – changing my heart, changing my thought process. You know, when you get saved, it’s a supernatural experience and all that, but you’re still the same you, unless you renew your mind. Of course you’re not the same you like that, you have the Spirit. But your mind is still the same. I was still thinking the way I was thinking. It wasn’t like all of a sudden I got saved and had a new mind. No, it wasn’t like that for me. But when I started getting into the word of God, God started changing my heart. The Bible says the word of God is sharper than a two-edged sword. The word of God started piercing my heart and the Holy Spirit started changing my thought process. So when I began to sing, my desire wasn’t for me to show off myself and to just sing because I like it. My desire was, these people have to know how great God is. That was the time He was revealing to me how great He is. That was what really changed and my passion went from wanting to become a singer to wanting to become a worshipper and wanting to raise other worshippers. When you have an experience with God, you want to show other people.”

She wants to raise worshippers. Her words reminded me of Dr. Lil’s just a few short weeks ago. But what does it mean to worship? What is worship?

“Worship is total obedience to God. Total obedience and wanting to please God. Wanting to do anything to make God happy. To put a smile on His face. The Bible says God seeks those that worship Him in spirit and in truth. Live a lifestyle of obedience. Live a lifestyle of wanting to please Him in everything you do. To me that’s what worship is. We all make mistakes. But when you’re always trying to do things to please your Father, that’s what I call a true worshipper.”

As I thought about these wise words in the light of her CD, I wondered aloud, “What is liberty?” And she took the time to explain to me that “…liberty is freedom. In order for people to even come into His presence, they have to know that they can. You’d be surprised; a lot of people don’t even think that they can go into the presence of God. They feel like, ‘Oh, I’m not worthy,’ you know, lies from the devil. ‘God doesn’t listen to me, He listens to the pastor… I’m not holy enough,’ different things like that. You have to let them know that they have liberty first. If you know you have liberty then you can actually be bold enough to say ‘I can go, because I have liberty.’ Liberty is really Jesus. We can’t stand in the presence of God without Him.”

What is the story behind Liberty to Worship?

Psalmist Lois was going through a lot of condemnation, brought on by constantly remembering things that she had promised the Lord she would not do, that she found herself doing. She read Romans 8:1, which freed her mind and tied in to her vision to lead people to become worshippers. It also inspired her song, Liberty. “One of my visions is to raise other worshippers, to teach people how to go into the presence of God. In order for you to go into the presence of God, you have to feel like you have liberty.”

The song My Hope is Built, is just her expressing that Christ is her only Foundation. “Making Christ my Solid Rock; trusting Him.” All My Praise talks about praising God constantly – waking up in the morning ready to praise Him.

Psalmist Lois would describe Liberty to Worship as an introduction to her upcoming works. In order for people to be able to truly, freely worship, they must know that they CAN worship. “Worship has to come from a hunger. Going into that most holy place has to come with a hunger. From my experience, worship is denying yourself. You have to do what you have to do, it’s personal.”

After her experience overcoming condemnation, Psalmist Lois has this to say to anyone who might feel condemned: “1 John 1:9. The first thing you should do is to confess your sin. I don’t know how many times I confess my sin every day. I don’t need to go to church, I don’t need to go see a priest, I confess it. Once I know I’ve done something wrong, I say ‘Lord, I just did that, I know I was wrong, I’m sorry.’”
She continues: “The devil will do anything to keep you from the presence of God. One of those things that will keep you from the presence of God is condemnation. Confess your sin and remember God loves you. God loves us so much that He gave His own life. He loves us with an everlasting love, an unending love. Anytime something bad happens, it’s not from God. It’s either something we have caused ourselves through rebellion, making room for the devil, or due to not praying, or something… God doesn’t test us by letting bad things happen to us. He is love and love doesn’t do that. If you want to know about God, just study love – 1 Corinthians 13 and the book of 1 John. That tells you the attributes of God. And once you know that God is love, you know that God cannot do anything to harm you. God loves us so much that He sends even His angels to guide us. If we had to open our eyes and see how many things He protects us from that we don’t even know! He loves us so much, even if the hair on my head falls, He knows! Because He is so in touch with me; He is so in love with me – I am the apple of His eye. That’s one of those things that you have to know when you go into the presence of God. God is so much more in love with us than we can imagine. Study the love of God. If you can understand the love of God, you will not go through that. When you know the love of God and have the revelation of God you can stand up and use your mouth and speak to the devil and he will flee. That’s how Jesus even got rid of the devil, when the devil came to Him in the wilderness. He spoke the Word and the devil fled. The Bible says resist the devil and he will flee. We resist him by the word, by speaking the truth. The devil cannot stand truth – because that’s is the word of God.”

If you are struggling with some situation in your life: “One thing I like to do is, when I’m struggling with something, I like to open up the Bible and find the word of God on that subject. When you know the word of God, it’s hard for the devil to come and mess with you. Find a scripture and meditate on it all week. Meditate on it and confess it. You can know it but you have to speak it. it’s not enough to just know it. put it to work. You have to have faith, but you also have to release that faith. Faith is not only in your heart – it’s action. When you release it, the devil fears and he trembles because he knows that he is messing with the wrong person.”

Aside from Jesus, the Love of her life, where does she draw her inspiration? CeCe Winans, Natalie Grant, Martha Munizzi and Israel Houghton are probably her top four musical sources. What a change from the former Chaka Khan/Whitney Houston combination! And this time, Psalmist Lois’ intentions are not to be a star – not by any means. She leaves herself behind when she goes on stage, and from the time she begins to minister, it’s all about God.

Her pastor, Pastor Ijisesan of KingsWord International Church, as well as Pastor Igene, are non-musical sources of inspiration. “Creflo Dollar changed my mind when it comes to finances,” she says. She listens to Joyce Meyer a lot, too.

What kind of music should Christians listen to?

“I don’t want to put people under condemnation or bondage, but I would say that Christians should listen to only Christian music. There is so much junk out there. Why would you want to be all about Jesus, reading the Bible every day but then turn on TV or BET or whatever that is so contradictory to the word of God? The word of God is telling me to remain pure until I’m married, but the song is telling me let’s get down tonight. It’s contradictory to the Word of God. And I am not trying to get all deep but I believe some of [those songs] carry spirits. So what I would say is, a lot of secular music is very contradictory to the word of God. There is no room for lukewarmness. Faith cometh by hearing. If you keep on listening to this carnal music about this or that, sooner or later, in your mind it’s going to be okay to you.”

If she had no experience, we would have accused her of telling us things that are easier said than done. However, she too had to give up secular music. “It took the Holy Spirit speaking through me reading the word. The Holy Spirit will never condemn you, but He will convict you. It’s the work of the Holy Spirit. If they don’t understand why for themselves, they will go back, or they will just be put under bondage of religion. It’s a revelation they have to get.”

Now that she has been transformed, how does she want her music to transform her listeners? “I would like them to be encouraged. I would like them to get the word. They will have an experience of God, they will see God in a different way, they will feel good.”

And to those who might be in ministry: “Know about God. Be open to criticism. Surround yourself with mentors. Surround yourself with people you can talk to. Be humble.”

I was almost done, but as usual, I had to get her opinion on singles and courtship. Here you go, singles:
“I would say, seek ye first the kingdom of God and all the rest will be added to you. Let your husband find you worshiping God, looking at God, focusing on God. Love God like He is your husband. And He is. Love God and make Him the Love of your soul. If you focus on God, before you know it, your husband will find you. Don’t go to church looking for a guy or whatever. Focus on God and worship Him. Let God be your Number One. Enjoy that time you have with God.”

And for those of you who are in courtship: I would say almost the same thing, let God be Number One in your relationship. Don’t date somebody just because he comes to church. Date somebody that is grounded in God and in the word of God. That’s the only way you know. Men will be men. I can’t put my trust in a man. People make mistakes but when that person’s accountable to God, you know that they have Somebody they’re accountable to. They are accountable to the Holy Spirit. make sure that person also has a mentor – a pastor or someone that they are accountable to. It says a lot about a man when a person has a spiritual mentor.

This issue, mentorship captured my curiosity. What is a mentor? What’s the difference between someone who has a mentor and someone who doesn’t? “If you don’t have anybody to be accountable to, you are a dangerous man, that’s how I look at it. there is destruction if you don’t have counsel. A lot of people who fall don’t have soirutual mentors. They feel like there is nobody that can be accountable to. We all make mistakes. We all fall but if you don’t have anyone who can help you and say, ‘instead of going this way, go this way’… a mentor is someone that you can learn from spiritually. They will break it to you through the word and they are looking out for you through the word. Everybody should have a mentor. Aside from God and the Holy Spirit, you have to have a mentor – someone you can be accountable to.”

Be blessed by more quotes from Psalmist Lois:

On Virtue:
“It’s possible because the Word of God says so. A woman can be virtuous by just relying on and trusting in the Holy Spirit. A virtuous woman is someone that puts first the kingdom of God.”

On God:
“God is everything. God is my life. God is whatever I need Him to be, now – in this moment. That’s why I said He is my everything. He is my best friend, He’s my husband, He’s my Dad, He’s my Mom, He’s my Life-Giver, He’s my Hope – the only thing I have hope on… He’s just everything. God is whatever I need Him to be at every moment. He is everything to me. without water, there is no life. God is my Water.”

On Her Fave Verse:
“John 3:16. That is the reason I am here today. He gave Himself up for me, so that I can have life. that’s my testimony. That’s why I live, that’s why I sing, that’s why I have joy. That sums up the Bible for me.”
When she is not singing, Psalmist Lois spends time hanging out with her friends, eating in restaurants, shopping. “I love to hang out with family and friends. I go to concerts – I like to see other people minister,” she says.

Let’s keep Psalmist Lois in our prayers, ladies!

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Lilian, formerly just “Lil” to those who love her, is now “Dr. Lil,” and also “Mom” to many of those in her care, because she is a nurturer. Her life story provokes the kind of interest that will cause one to say, “Truly, there is a God in Israel.” She was plunged into ministry only a few days after she gave her life to Christ in high school, and just months later, she had older students under her care. She managed to do her Masters Degree and get her Doctorate simultaneously. She is a leader both in the church and in the field of Psychology. She is also a worshipper. This means that despite a hectic schedule, she manages to find time for God. How is this possible? What is her story?

Early Ministry – Psalm 119:133.

Dr. Lil was born and raised in Nakuru, the fourth-largest urban centre in Kenya and provincial capital of Kenya’s Rift Valley province. She grew up in a Christian home and assumed that this was a guarantee of eternal security. In primary school at St. Mary’s Girls’ Nakuru, she was a leader. St. Mary’s, famous for going to the national level at the Kenya music and drama festivals, was where she learnt many of the musical principles she applies to this day. She did not realize until she went to Kipsigis Girls’ High School that she needed to have a personal relationship with the Lord. “I thought I was doing great until I realized that my righteousness is filthy rags before God,” she says.

A week after she began her walk with the Lord, she jumped into her first position in ministry as the leader of the Form 1 (ninth grade) students’ Christian Union. Because she had had prior leadership experience in primary school, it was a natural position for her – but it was now something she realized was a godly responsibility. She had always had respect for godly leadership, and she knew it was crucial to do things right. The next year, when she was in Form 2, Dr. Lil found herself in the position of the Christian Union leader – she now had her seniors in Form 3 and 4 under her care. She had to grow up spiritually – fast. The Word of God was her guide. “I did not have much time to be a baby Christian because I needed to start nurturing other believers even though I was a young believer myself. I had to just be obedient, even without an understanding.”

Ministry did not stop there. In fact, it has not stopped since. After high school, Dr. Lil went into worship ministry at her church, and was also a part of the Nakuru praise team from 1995-1998. The Nakuru Praise Team consisted of worship leaders from different churches in the area. There were no denominational boundaries and Dr. Lil managed to interact with and learn from Kenyan spiritual greats such as Dr. Mark Kariuki. She also grew up spiritually under Evangelist Teresia Wairimu (left), whom she calls “Mom,” of Faith Evangelistic Ministries. Those years were crucial for her spiritual growth and prepared her for the things God was about to catapult her into.

KCFA Baltimore – 1 Thessalonians 5:24.

In 1998, Lilian had to leave Kenya for the United States to go to college. She was a little worried about leaving her ministry back home. Who would take over from her at church? “I like to leave a legacy,” she says. She hoped people would step up to the plate and continue where she left off – and thankfully, they did.

So off to the United States it was. She had to adapt. Both the secular and church culture were very different from what she was used to at home. She first lived in New Orleans, LA, with her sister, and then moved to Baltimore, MD, to begin her undergraduate studies. Together with a group of other Kenyans, she launched the Baltimore chapter of the Kenya Christian Fellowship in America. “I needed a place to fellowship. In 1998 there was no KCFA [in Baltimore]. We launched a fellowship.” The Kenya Christian Fellowship in America is 18 years old, but the Baltimore chapter is celebrating its 10th anniversary in two weeks. At KCFA Baltimore, Lilian again “fell into my most natural role of directing, so again the music was on my lap but we started really small. We were about ten or thirteen people, but by the time I left the fellowship when I was moving to Michigan, we were about three hundred people.”

Déjà vu, as she calls it, came into play when again, Lilian had to pack up and move to Michigan for her graduate studies, leaving a ministry behind. Who was going to lead? Determined to leave another legacy, she sought God and trained people for leadership, and they took over. Now, she can actually go to Baltimore and fellowship with KCFA as part of the congregation. “I can go to the fellowship and I can actually sit down and worship God without having to hold the microphone,” she says, and the motherly joy is evident in her voice.

Michigan – Deuteronomy 28:13.

Lilian moved to Michigan to pursue her Doctorate studies. The University of Michigan is the crème de la crème of Psychology graduate schools in the United States. The school receives about 300-500 applications, but only five students out of those are accepted. Lilian happened to be one of the five in her application batch.

“It is the epitome of God’s faithfulness,” she says passionately. In just four and a half years, she managed to finish both her masters and her Ph.D. Things were not the same as they had been in undergraduate school. “You can’t just get by on good grades. It takes the hand of God to give you favour with professors and God was so gracious that in four and a half years I was done.” And not just done, but she was the first person in her class of six to get her doctorate.

The greatest miracle in all this is the fact that from the day she stepped into college to the day she got her Ph.D., Lilian did not pay a dime. “If anything, they paid me.” Indeed, God has been faithful in her life.

Secret Place – Psalm 91:1.

How did she manage to maintain a life of worship despite her hectic schedule? “I learnt the hard way. I get invitations all the time to go and minister. When I lived in Baltimore, I didn’t have the discipline to say ‘no, I need to recoup, I need time to get my spiritual self centred [in God] again.’ When I moved to Michigan I learnt how to say no, which is the best thing any minister can learn how to say.” She decided she could not do it all, and would take no more than two invitations every five or six weeks.

“I made sure I found a wonderful church. My pastor was very understanding. He wanted me to be involved in the ministry in the church, but because of my travelling and the intensity of my doctoral program, I was not able to be involved in the church. I ministered in the church once a month – every fourth Sunday they would give me time to minister.”

She continues: “Michigan was significant to me in this regard: I was able to be quiet. I did not make a lot of friends; I did not have a lot of social activities going on, unlike when I lived in Baltimore where we had a big Kenyan community… I had a lot of quiet time. That five-year window was the time I heard God loudest because I was able to stop and just be quiet and have days on end when I was all by myself, and God would really speak to me. It gave me a lot of quality time with God. It’s in that time that I conceived the idea of the CD that I did.”

“The CD.”

Lilian’s Question: Exodus 3:14
God’s Response: Proverbs 18:16

To Lilian, it is simply, yet sweetly, known as “the CD.” To the rest of us, it is her debut album, Duto Mag Yesu (All to Jesus), which she jokingly calls “quite old,” but which has been a timeless source of calming spiritual refreshment and comfort to its listeners since 2005. Though she tries to contain herself, the emotion in her voice is evident as she talks about it.

“In 2003, in April, I lost a very dear friend of mine. We had been friends since fourth grade. We grew up together, went to the same primary school, we lived in the same neighbourhood. Eventually she made it to the U.S., and we were like best friends. We were prayer partners, we prayed together every Monday night. In 2003, she passed away in a very tragic car accident. It was a head-on, and she died right there… and it happened when I was in the middle of ministry, I was at a conference in Virginia. That was hard for me because I was at a conference where I was the only person leading worship. I did not have anybody to help me. She died on the morning that the conference started so it was very devastating. But I was able to minister the whole conference. Even though I don’t remember much about the conference, they sent me the DVD. Within less than a week I had to go back to Kenya to take her body back for burial. That was a very hard time for me, I did not have time to grieve and God just kept reminding me that He is faithful.”

Lilian had no idea how to grieve, and too much was going on in her life. She asked the Lord how to express her pain. “Put it in a CD,” He told her. Much like Moses, thousands of years ago, Lilian said, “But I can’t write songs.” God said she did not have to. “There were already songs in place that were ministering to me. Every time I listened to Great is Thy Faithfulness, I would cry.”

In 2004, she went back to Kenya and recorded the album with her very dear friend, gospel singer and producer Reuben Kigame . Kigame suggested that she do the album in Dholuo. “A Luo CD, how is that gonna happen?” she wondered, thinking about her base in the United States and the language barrier factor. “Reuben said, ‘name one Luo artiste who’s sung a Luo album – a woman of integrity, a woman of honour.’” Lilian could think of none. “Since he’s been in the business way longer than me, he told me, ‘I’m telling you, God wants you to do this.’ He was really being the voice of God in my life. I actually recorded the album in Kenya. I had very little time to do it; I did it in three, four days because I had to come back here. Reuben was very helpful to me. That time, his wife [Mercy Kigame ] was still alive. He did the master and I did the rest of the production here.”

Despite all the factors that seemed to stand against her, Lilian refused to be anxious. “I laid hands on the project. I said God, this is Your project. I am not doing the CD because people say I should do a CD. May it not have linguistic barriers. May there be an anointing on this project to bring peace and hope, comfort and celebration. The comfort that CD brought to myself was amazing. Listening to myself brought me to tears and I was able to grieve for my friend.”

Lilian, a self-professed lover of Uganda, decided she had to sing a song in Luganda, and ended up doing worship song Yesu Oliwakitibwa (Jesus, You are Glorious), which a dear friend wrote. “Ruoth Ting’a Malo is my grandmother’s heart and soul,” she explains. “And I had to celebrate, so all these other songs like E Polo kept coming together.”

God answered Lilian’s prayer in profound ways. She is now a “wedding singer” – her music is played at weddings from ethnic groups all over Kenya. It has also been received well internationally – from Holland, to London, to Australia. Indeed, what she calls her “hallmark scripture,” Proverbs 18:16, has had significant meaning and truth in her life.

She does not care about fame, recognition, or titles. She wants to please God.

Talanta.

Lilian has been nominated for the Talanta Awards in the category of Best Female Artiste, 2008. Click here to go to the page and vote for her.

“God in My Office” – Matthew 10:16.

According to Lilian, psychology is one of the most-godless fields one can ever work in. People believe in the power of the mind. Anything spiritual is seen as crazy. Lilian does not need to have huge pictures of Jesus all over her office walls to be able to minister. From her speech and demeanour, people pick up on the fact that she believes in God, and they ask if she is a Christian. They are then able to open up about their pain. Sometimes she can tell that the conditions are caused by demonic influence, but she exercises wisdom in all circumstances. She has never lost a patient to suicide, and nobody has injured themselves after seeing her. She has led people to Christ in her practice.

The Single Diva – 1 Corinthians 7:34.

Lilian is single and enjoying herself. She considers being single a gift, not a deficiency. She has no problem spoiling herself, and says it should not be mistaken for trying to be a worldly “independent superwoman.” Under Teresia Wairimu, she has learnt not to wait for a man to come into her life before she can be complete. She will not wait for someone to take her to the movies or buy her dinner – she is very comfortable going to the movies alone, or going to a restaurant and being seated at a table for one.
She loves sports – she regularly watches tennis, basketball, baseball. Her advice to singles? Enjoy life. “There will be no superbowl in heaven,” she says humorously. “Life is not a vacuum.”

Of the right man, she says, “Something has to leap in my spirit.” Call her “shao” or whatever you will – she refuses to buy into the “this is America” philosophy. As a leader, she is very careful not to jump carelessly into relationships. “I don’t believe in trying a shoe and then tossing it to the side,” she says metaphorically. “I don’t believe in just dating randomly.”

Because of her achievements and ministry, many find her intimidating and make assumptions about her. “At the end of the day, I’m just a girl,” she says. She will not pretend she does not desire to be married, but at the same time, she knows it will happen in God’s timing. And when it does, she will not try to take her ministry to the house, singing everyone to sleep “like King David did on his harp” or counseling her family day in, day out. “My first ministry is God,” she says, “then my husband, then the church.” She will not compromise that.

Lilian Odera is currently based in Miami, Florida, and is the president of SIFA, an ensemble of Kenyan gospel musicians in the United States. She also works with Faith Evangelistic Ministry’s U.S. chapter, known as Teresia Wairimu Evangelistic Ministry (TWEM). She continues to actively participate in KCFA.

Let’s all thank God for the mentor He has given us in Lilian, and let us continue to keep her in our prayers.

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Kambua – what a beautiful name. As I searched in my mind for a word to describe this young woman, a number of terms jumped out at me. Humble. Virtuous. Refreshing. Interesting. Candid. But I am quickly learning that it is impossible to describe an adopted child of God using just one word. I settled for a sentence: Kambua is a young woman who is well aware of the fact that her life’s path is orchestrated by the Almighty God. Speaking to her a few days ago, I picked up on the fact that like Mary Magdalene, she is a woman who has sat at the feet of Jesus while other people are “cumbered about with much serving”, and she has grasped that part which no man can take away from her. Only God can and must get the glory for the things He has done in her life. After all, the fact that she has such faith in Him is a compliment to Him, and not to her, for it is the great works He has done for and in her that have built and strengthened her faith thus far.
Born and raised in Nairobi, Kenya, Kambua began her musical journey under the watchful eyes of her parents, who are both ministers. This journey took her through Parklands Baptist Church, the Berklee College of Music and finally to where she is – pursuing a BA in Music at Ambrose University College in Calgary, Canada. “My biggest musical influence has been my parents,” she says passionately. “My father sings and plays the guitar; my mom sings. But mom’s involvement in the ministry is really what got me singing in the church.”

It is almost impossible to separate Kambua’s journey in music from her journey in God. The only girl in the family, she was led to Christ by her mother at a tender age, but for a long time, did not quite understand what salvation meant. “It was really just doing something that I have known all my life… until later on when I wanted to find meaning and find reasons why I believe in the things that I believe in.”

It was in high school that she truly encountered God – and there has been no looking back. Her entire life and passion for music are dedicated to her Creator. The biggest influence in her walk is a man named Wellington Oliech, a youth pastor at Parklands Baptist Church in Nairobi, but she cites Kenyan gospel artistes Jemimah Thiong’o and Mbuvi as sources of inspiration in music. Of Jemimah Thiong’o, Kambua says, “I love her music – but apart from that, she is a woman of God.” She explains that a person’s walk is the true factor that determines a person’s love for Him. Talking and doing are two different things.

Kambua’s latest album, Nishikilie, is the product of years of wrestling and searching for some form of understanding of the ways of God during what can be termed the toughest period of her life thus far. For seven years, her family underwent great trials. Because she is a “Daddy’s girl,” and because this period directly affected her father, Kambua struggled to find out what the point was, and where God was at this time when her family needed Him most.
“My father became very ill,” Kambua narrates, and the passion is evident in her voice. “My dad lost his eyesight. I’m the only girl at home. Dad is, like, the person in my life. I look up to him. He’s my hero. He was down, and I couldn’t grasp that.”

Because of her father’s illness, he could not work, and this forced the family to learn to depend on God and take things one day at a time.

“For a while I couldn’t go to school. There was no school fees. My brothers could not go to school. We basically lived a day at a time. We would wake up in the morning and [we were] not sure where lunch was going to come from – it was that bad.”

Kambua had just finished high school, and she watched her friends join university, some in Kenya and some abroad, one by one, until she seemed to be the only one who was not pursuing her dreams. “It was a period of wrestling and crying out to God. God, we’ve prayed and fasted and done all these things. Why are You not coming through?”

Yet even in this trial, God was with her. She says with confidence that He never left. And within the struggle, there were lessons that she learnt that keep her to this day. The biggest one: Be honest with the Lord. Be real; tell Him exactly what you feel. “A lot of times I think that we want to appear stronger than we are and we do need to go broken before the Lord.”

How did she find healing – how did she come out of this period, and how is it that it seems to have strengthened her faith rather than dampened it? She cried out to God, and studied His word, and in the process, began to write songs about how she felt, one of which was Nishikilie – literally, “hold on to me.”
“God, You have to hold me,” she told her Father. “I do not have the strength to go on by myself. There is no other way out of this.”

Yet even through the pain, there were miracles that showed Kambua and her family that God was with them.

“God never deserts us. He takes care of us every single step of the way. I remember this incident where it was Sunday and we went to church and came back home… and there was no food at home!”

That day, while they were sitting at home wondering what to do, a friend of her father’s dropped by out of the blue with a load of food, saying he was just passing by to say hello. The food he brought sustained the family for days

But there was more to come. Despite the fact that doctors had said that her father’s blindness was irreversible, Kambua’s mother, an evangelist, refused to give up on God. She was confident that if He opened eyes in the Bible, He could do it for them. The family continued to pray and believe God and one day, again out of the blue, while the family was at home, her father shouted, “I can see! I see something!”
It was the first step in his journey back to sight.

To the perplexed doctors, Kambua’s father simply said, “I met a bigger Doctor.”

It was healings such as these that saw her parents begin a ministry, Tabibu, meaning “Doctor,” or “Physician,” named after the Great Physician. Tabibu Ministry is described as “a mission of hope to all people.”

Hope for Kenya.

Kambua was in Kenya during the tough period that followed the 2007 General Elections. She watched while Kenya was plunged into chaos. She felt safe because she was with her family. But she, like all Kenyans, must have needed to know where the true Source of safety was as the nation bled.

“I think God was right in the middle of it. I don’t think God abandons His children, especially at times like those – times when things are really horrible. People really cried out to God. We cried out to God and I know that He heard us and just because things did not work out the way we wanted and the violence did not end as quickly as we wanted does not mean that God was not with us. Now, we are thankful that this far He has brought our country and there is going to be healing over time that is going to come.”

To those who lost relatives and property and suffered humiliation, Kambua says, “It would be very impractical for someone to tell me God loves me if my situation is saying something different. But the thing about God’s love is that… the things that happen to us at certain times in our lives do not show a wavering in the love of God. It is there – He is constantly reaching out to us – ‘Allow me to love you. Allow me to change your situation.’”

Of Fame and the Treble Clef Tattoo.

Kambua sports a tattoo on her left arm. It is a treble clef, a musical symbol. She does not seem aware of the fact that it has been a source of contention among her listeners. On being reminded that it is something the Bible speaks against (Leviticus 19:28 Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD) , Kambua says it was something very deliberate; something she thought about for a very long time and did not do under peer influence, and yes, she got it as a born-again Christian. “I decided that if and when I get a tattoo, it will have to be meaningful. I just put a treble clef because my passion is music.”

I try to push a little more. What would she say to those who ask who it’s about? Who exactly does the tattoo glorify?

With a few stutters here and there as she fumbles for words, Kambua explains that the tattoo is a symbol of music, and in her life, music is used to glorify God. Therefore, according to her, the tattoo glorifies God. “It does not prevent me from hearing from God,” she says.

She does not consider it a reason for contention and definitely does not want to spend too much time talking about it. The fact of the matter, after all, is that she has it – it cannot be undone, except through painful and expensive procedures – and she does not seem ready to do that, or to let anyone convince her that the tattoo is going to come between her and God.

Speaking of how she handles fame, Kambua says she considers herself just another ordinary woman. “Behind closed doors, that’s what I am. I pray and ask God to constantly humble me and remind me what I am doing – that it’s for Him.”

Of Contemporary Issues and a Message for All Women

There was no way I was going to let her go without seeking her take on contemporary issues women face: chastity versus premarital sex; jewelry; make-up; partying. She gently explained the Biblical view to me.
“Sex is a beautiful gift from God. But He has given it to us within the boundaries of marriage. And as soon as we break that, it’s not the same. When we break that, it comes with baggage, it comes with frustration, it comes with the feeling of insecurity, what if he leaves me, what if it doesn’t work out – what if he’s cheating on me, and all these things start coming out of nowhere.”

Within the correct context, sex is a good thing, Kambua says. She, like all people, encounters struggles in the quest for purity. “The need for sex is not something that we can just cast out because we’re single people. I know it’s hard. But I also know that there’s no temptation, not even one, that comes our way that is not common to man. All these other people who are married went through the same thing. If then they were able to overcome and we are serving the same God – if He gave them the strength, He can give me strength to wait until the right time. It comes down to respect for one another. Sex can be a temporal thing if it is used in a context that is not right. So it is important for us to look at the bigger picture and think, I can wait.”

As for women and jewelry and make up: “I love jewelry, I love make up, I love fashion. A woman is such a beautiful being and anything you do to glorify God – it all comes down to that – anything you do to glorify God, I would say, go right ahead. What is the intention behind me making myself up? Is it to draw attention to myself or is it because I will look better or feel better enhanced when I make myself up? I think that it is very okay for a woman to adorn herself and look beautiful.”

And on going to the club and living like the world? It is absolutely unnecessary in a life based on Christ. “When I am not in God I will want to look in a relationship or I will want to look in the club or I will want to look in different men. [With] God – you don’t need to keep looking. Have healthy friendships with people who believe in God. Iron sharpens iron. If I am trying to be a virtuous woman but my company is not right, the higher percentage is that I will be pulled in rather than pulling people in toward God.”

Kambua fervently believes that virtue is possible in this day and age. The recipe she recommends? Prayer, for starters. Next, study Scripture, for there is no question in life that the Bible will not answer. Finally, be sure to keep the right company. There are plenty of exciting things to do in God, and keeping company with virtuous people who love the Lord will decrease our longing for approval from the world.

So, should we expect a new album from Kambua? The answer is YES, and very soon – within the next five months, Lord-willing.

She has one message for the ladies:

“You are beautiful and you are LOVED. Every woman desires to be loved and you are LOVED. That’s from God to all women – He loves you.”

And how true! Let’s keep Kambua in our prayers, ladies!
Find Kambua online: http://www.myspace.com/kambuam

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