Engaged but Nervous

Posted by Yakuti in Archives, Relationships | | 1 comment

i am getting married in December this year. i have been so anxious…asking myself if this is God’s will. My fiancee is such a loving man, he is born again and very supportive. he is everything a girl would ever want in a man. i just wonder if God approves of us. i wish there was a way to take away all these anxieties and know or sure that God is leading us all the way.

please help.

‘Maua’

Dear Maua,

First of all, congratulations on your engagement! Many women write to me asking me to pray for them to get married, or asking me to hook them up with men. You are engaged, and to a man every woman would want. Trust me, you are blessed.

I took some time to pray about your question, as always, but I also spoke to a few of my married friends and reflected on some of the discussions we had when they were engaged.

The first thing I can tell you is that what you are going through IS NORMAL. All the friends I spoke to are born again, all of them are married to godly men, but to my surprise, they all said they felt nervous – and sometimes downright terrified – during the time between engagement and marriage. A friend of mine who is married to a worship leader that nobody would ever doubt was meant for her, told me that she was very, very nervous during her engagement.

I’ll say it like one friend told me: it’s a good thing. It gives you another chance to evaluate your relationship and get to know if this is the man for you. It can help you look out for signs from God and ask yourself some serious questions. Have you covered all bases, for example? Is there anything God is saying that you might be missing? It is also a chance to have that clarification from God, that very clear sign that you can then journal and look back on during your marriage if the devil tries to sow seeds of discord. Sometimes, even on her wedding day, a bride is still nervous and has not heard or does not think she has heard anything from the Lord. If this is the case, then just go for it by faith, just like my friends did.

You say, “I wonder if God approves of us.” God approves of all His children. Perhaps you mean to say you wonder if He approves of the fact that you are getting married to each other. If you have obeyed Him, then He approves. It is the Lord who created the institution and covenant of marriage and He has commanded us to get married. He Himself promised that He would never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). He will be with us always until the end of the age (Matthew 28:20). He orders our steps (Psalm 37). He has commissioned His angels concerning us (Psalm 91). I personally believe that if you are not unequally yoked, and if you have been praying throughout your relationship, then you should not worry. God holds tomorrow; worrying cannot delay it or bring it closer or make us taller or shorter. Stand on His Word to you. “Pour out your heart before Him.” Psalm 62:8.

Another thing that you should remember is that the devil is against the institution of marriage, especially between two believers. Marriage is warfare and a representation of Christ’s relationship with the church so the enemy will do whatever he can to try and sabotage it. When he brings doubts and discouragement, remember 2 Corinthians chapter 10 and cast down all those imaginations. Count your blessings and remember God’s benefits to you (Psalm 103) because sometimes it is forgetfulness that foils our faith. There are many women who would want to be in your shoes right now.

Hang in there. Relax. Trust God. Your engagement did not take Him by surprise; in fact, He ordained it. He will not mislead you, ashame you, or let you fall. Ask Him to make it very clear to You that He approves of your marriage. He honors our requests.

Be blessed,

Paula.

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