How to Get Him To Propose

Posted by Yakuti in Archives, Guyspeak | | 7 comments

I am finally an accomplished Yakuti writer. I GOT MAIL! Not just mail, I get a lot of mail from you guys (thanks!) but this time it was….. drumroll….. A question! A young lady asking how she can get her boyfriend of a year and a half to propose. Now, now – some of you might think that a year and a half is too short a time period but I believe in proper time use and believe it or not within about three months a man can be sure if he wants to marry you or if he will waste your time and run for the hills when he finds a woman he wants to marry. Sadly this happens with Christian guys too, so all you ladies need to kaa macho and know what the deal is. Usually we hear this from women, and the men say “She is a woman, what does she know?” Well next time tell them Pastor Moses told you this and let them come and settle it with me.

NOTE: If you have been in a relationship for more than two years, you probably want to skip this article and go straight to point #4 at the very bottom.

NOTE 2: If you are looking for ways to manipulate a human being, please look elsewhere, this article will not help you.

I have to lay some ground work first.

Is he ready to marry ANYONE?

Some signs that the answer is No:

He is not born again.

It is impossible to love a human being who is not related to you, unconditionally for life without the grace of God. Some people cannot even love their own relatives. So if he does not have God, let him not have you. RUN for your life.

He cannot provide.

God first created Adam, then put him to tend the field, then got him to name the animals, THEN created Eve. At least back then, they could eat without working. But after the curse, we eat from the sweat of our brow. If Adam brings Eve into the picture and he has no work, what will poor Eve eat? RUN for your life, Eve.

He is immature in crisis-handling.

The basic crisis of paying for a date is one thing, ladies real men take the bill. If he cannot afford an expensive place, then he should pay for a cheaper option. The bottom line is he should pay up. But then there are other things that can show his maturity. Does he punch every man that says hello to you? If he does then he still has some growing up to do. You need someone who can be wise if you are attacked by thieves and if you encounter someone who needs kind speech and not blows, eg someone in a bigger position who has something you need. If he responds to everything with blows please RUN.

He is violent, verbally abusive, or addicted to alcohol or any drug.

RUN.

Just run, don’t even continue reading this article or wait for an explanation or try to defend him.

Is he interested in marrying YOU?

Ladies of the kingdom, men know what they want. I saved for three good years to be able to buy my dilapidated jalopy of a car. I went to the United States and worked three jobs and went to school at the same time so that I could come back home and support my family. You think I am not sure of the kind of person I want to marry, or if I know it’s not you?

If he wants to marry you, it won’t take him too long to figure it out, and it’s likely:

He makes an effort to provide.

One of the primary desires every man has is the desire to rescue a damsel in distress. When you go to court, to the hospital, to the bank, to the office, even if you are the president, you can be whoever you want to be but please follow this tip, when you get home as a wife, your man expects you to be his wife. Be a woman. A home is like a body, two heads and it is deformed.

It has come up in conversation.

Eg. “Oh! that’s the kind of house I would want us to live in!” or “Should we open an account with Barclays or Kenya Commercial Bank?” When you say “That’s  a cute elderly couple,” he might respond with, “I hope we are that close on our 80^th anniversary,” or he might even say something you might consider negative such as “When we get married that might have to change.” If marriage has not come up in CASUAL conversation, I hope it has at least come up and he does not avoid it like an incurable virus.

He is concerned about how you present yourself.

If you walk around like a slut and your boyfriend doesn’t care it means he does not tie his reputation to your behavior so he may not care as much about you as you imagine he does. Same goes for something like your status update. A young lady I know put something angry on her facebook and five minutes later took it down when I was about to comment. I asked why, and she said her boyfriend did not like it. She was complaining to me that she found it chauvinistic. I told her he would propose shortly. The first reason I said that, was he had shown concern. The second was she had respected him. Guess what? They are getting married this November. I’m not a prophet so that shows I am right.

He doesn’t rush or pressure you into sex.

There may be those occasions of temptation where it is a struggle but overall he will do his best to keep away from fornication. If you are having sex just sit down and ask yourself, who in their right mind would pay for something valuable if they could get it for free? You know you wouldn’t, so if you are sleeping with him, don’t fault him if he doesn’t think a ring on your finger is a priority.

You have met his parents and friends.

No point getting their hopes up if he knows he is wasting your time.

He has met your parents and friends.

If he has not met them in five years and does not care to meet them, something is wrong. Yes we can be slow but we are not that slow.

Everybody assumes you will get married – and they do not get into a panic when they think about it.

How then do you get him to propose…

…if he is showing all these signs and you believe he is the man for you?

I don’t know which should come first between this and the next point, so let us have two #1’s.

#1. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES PROPOSE TO HIM!

I don’t care what you have seen on TV. One good reason for this is if you propose to a man, you will have to take the leadership role in many other things. When things go wrong he will tell you he did not ask to marry you anyway.

#1. ASK YOURSELF – “WHY DO I WANT HIM TO PROPOSE?”

-Are you panicking? Are your friends getting married in large numbers and you think it is time for you to get married too? This is not a good reason. Calm down, be objective and pray to get your thoughts straight. Never get married because of pressure.

-Can you live without him? This might sound strange, but if you cannot live without him, you are not ready to be married. It means he is an idol and so is marriage. The only person you should not be able to live without is God.

-Do you think it is a way out of poverty, loneliness, boredom, etc? If so, you need to sit down and think about it again because there are many broke, lonely, bored, MARRIED people out there.

#2. Don’t nag.

Nagging is the #1 way to get him NOT to marry you.

#3. Let him see why he should marry you.

-Will his money be safe? Every man wants to know that should he leave things to you, they will be taken care of. If he thinks his property will be squandered the minute you enter into a union then he has a good reason for not wanting to marry you. This is because he is probably hoping to have children and would want them to be in safe hands.

-Will he be separated from his friends and family? A divisive woman is not attractive to any man. Overprotectiveness is immature and looks desperate. Let him have his space because he needs it as you do.

-Can he live without you? Now this is a little ironic but a man needs to be able to see that he cannot live without you, why? Because you are created specifically to help him. So show him that he cannot live without you. Some ways to do this are by first being yourself, but also in your own way adding such value to his life that if you were to walk away, he would have lost a precious treasure.

#4. Give him an ultimatum.

He is more interested in your actions than your words. Talk is cheap. Once he has seen that you are a valuable treasure, let him “show you the money” ie let him commit to having you as HIS treasure. If you know your worth, you will never let a man use you. If he knows your worth, he will not let you go but he might need a wake-up call. Tell him point blank but graciously, that he has no right to your time if he is not willing to commit to it. There is no difference between him and any other man if you are not married or headed towards marriage so why should he get special treatment? Remember to do it respectfully.

If after all this he lets you go, let him go – trust me it’s his loss.

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