My Boyfriend has Herpes…
Dear Toyin
My boyfriend told me he has herpes. Should I break off this relationship?
What is the scoop on herpes? How is it spread? I am really disgusted by
all this. Am I overreacting? How did he get it? Can we be married and I
don’t get it.
Rachel
Hey Rachel,
Thanks for your candidness and sending in this question. I think the best way is for me to answer your health questions and then send the question of whether you should stay with him to Pea at the Relationships section. I feel that this way, your question will be answered in depth.
In no way do I mean any disrespect but the first thing I will say is this: if you are sexually active (in ALL forms of the word be it kissing or oral/anal/vaginal sex) with this guy please STOP! NOW!
There are two types of the Herpes Simplex Virus; HSV-1 and HSV-2 and I will tell you about both. HSV-1 is the harmless version of the virus and appears as a cold sore or fever blister which appears at the corner of our lips; EVERYONE has had it at one point or another. I am assuming that since your boyfriend feels it important to tell you, it means he has been infected by the Herpes Simplex Virus-2 which is a Sexually Transmitted Disease and primarily affects the genitals (even though it can spread to the mouth through oral sex). HSV-2 manifests as a cluster of blisters/sores/ulcers on the surface of the genitals. In males, these sores are obvious on the penis, thighs, buttocks and anus. In the female the sores can spread from the vagina to the inner and outer labia, clitoris, buttocks and anus causing “genital symptoms” such intense itching, aching, burning and pain and “body symptoms” such as fever, muscles aches and headaches.
These are the less severe of the symptoms but for some reason, women tend to have additional symptoms; the more severe ones include cervical cancer, numbness and loss of sensations from different parts of the body, dysfunction of the bladder and sometimes the virus can cause problems with the spinal cord.
Can you get it? ABSOLUTELY! HSV is a virus and with any exposure to the sores, this STD can spread and infect you. There is no cure for herpes and once a person is infected, it is for life. Yes, there is treatment (acyclovir) but this drug is used to control and decrease the number of outbreaks a person has. A person with herpes will have what are called “outbreaks”; this is when the blisters are visible on their skin, but sometimes they are also in “remission” when they have no evident blisters but are still all the same infected. It is extremely easy to get infected with herpes and a pregnant woman with herpes is advised to have a C-section rather than a vaginal delivery in order not to infect her child. For a person who chooses to stay in a relationship with an infected partner, many precautions need to be taken in order to decrease the risk of getting infected but to be honest, the risks are still there. These precautions and more information can be found at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention website http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/STDFact-herpes.htm
I would also like to advise you to make an appointment with your OB/GYN for an STD panel to get tested in order to get more information and protect yourself.
Stay Blessed
T
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I have never heard or HSV2 causing cervical cancer that’s HPV. And all of that other stuff that you say HSV2 causes is news to me. If any of this is true it is very rare and probably happens to someone who already has a weakened immune system. And for the chick that is disgusted by her boyfriend having herpes. Just your luck you will leave the only man that will tell you the truth about this virus and go to a liar and he will give it to you, then will you be disgusted with yourself? And please don’t run back to your ex if it ever happens.