Why He Dreads Valentine’s Day
Disclaimer: I have nothing against women or the expression of love. However, like most guys, I feel there is a problem when Christian women try so hard to fit into the trends of the world that they risk jeopardizing that which should be special, spontaneous, and fun.
If you hear a guy lamenting about Valentine’s Day, this could be why:
It’s a Rip-off
It amazes us that women cannot see that this is just another day for businessmen to make profits. It’s a conspiracy! And it seems like we’re the only ones who get it.
We have to perform all these great feats – in the cold.
Don’t get me wrong, chivalry is not dead (I would like to assure Semerian that I stand firmly by this statement). But what is with expecting us to buy you all these huge bouquets of flowers and walk around holding them, while trying to look happy and lovey-dovey when we are bored out of our minds? Valentine’s Day falls in the dead of winter in some parts of the world, and in the rainiest period in others. What happened to good old conversation in a heated building, or lengthy walks – in the summer?
It puts us under pressure.
We have to get you something. Any man who does not have a valentine is thought of as stingy and selfish. I guess there are some stingy, selfish guys out there who refuse to celebrate the day for this reason. They are probably a select few. Many of those who are married or in relationships are afraid to mention that they look at it as just another day because it will be seen as an avoidance tactic at best and stinginess at worst. Really, ladies, to many of us it’s just another day. We have nothing against it. We just don’t agree with going with the trends. We don’t have to do what the world dictates.
We don’t have a clue what to do.
Each Valentine’s has to be more creative than the last. That’s what it feels like. So we wonder, should I downplay it this year so that next year looks more amazing? Because if I outdo myself this year, I’ll have to outdo my outdo next year…
Even when we have a clue, it doesn’t count, because it’s “expected.”
A “thank you” will go a long way even if it’s what we’re supposedly supposed to do. Get your girlfriend a bouquet on, say, August 29th and she leaps with joy and her hands fly to her face with the adorable glee of a two-year-old. Get the same bouquet, even a better one, on Valentine’s, and you get a brief nod or hug and a recycled and halfhearted “Aaww… thank you my dear.”
We think these things should be spontaneous.
That’s why it’s chivalry. It’s not expected, it’s heroic, it’s voluntary. Putting dates and expectations to it takes away from the fun and (as above) puts us under pressure. Now, pressure may work wonders at the office, but it is not good for matters of the heart.
We daren’t forget.
That in itself could make some men so nervous that they actually forget. Woe betide the man who forgets Valentine’s Day. With all the commercials and hype, especially. He will not be held guiltless… unless he outdoes himself on the next Valentine’s.
We have to wear red and show off.
We would like to do whatever it takes to please you. But you don’t have to be hard to please. We don’t have to go around town in a public displays of affection – holding hands, laughing loudly, sitting on the streets in the cold in red. It’s fun the first time. Maybe the next time also. But after a while it becomes obligation and dreaded. The whole city does not have to know we are in love.
It fosters unhealthy competition.
Jane and Mary are friends. Jane’s boyfriend gets her red roses. Mary’s boyfriend gets her a red car. Enough said.
We rarely get anything on Valentine’s Day.
No, it’s not about us. But come on. Two words. Be Considerate.
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