10 Courtship Questions to Ask Yourself in 2010
Is he getting the milk without buying the cow?
In other words, are you acting married before you are? Are you guarding your heart or do you wear everything on a sleeve? Do you cook for him and do his laundry? Are you having sex? Do you live together? As the months go on and people become emotionally close, it is very easy for two people in love to begin to behave like a married couple, even if they do not live in the same house. Do not fall for that temptation, as it is dangerous and will ruin your relationship. A man is wired to be a leader, but pop culture makes Christian men today shy away from that responsibility. For the most part, no man will treat a woman irresponsibly unless he is allowed to do it. You are not yet his wife and until you exchange your vows, you should not play house. Let him take the risk and ask you to become his wife first.
What do my girlfriends think?
This question assumes that you have godly, likeminded friends who have your interests at heart. Those close to us can objectively point out things we may not notice. If your very close friend constantly complains about not trusting your boyfriend, take note. Our close friends know us better than most people, sometimes even better than family. Take your friends’ counsel seriously and take it before God. He will open your eyes and reveal the truth.
How do I feel after spending time with him?
If you feel worn out, guilty, unsettled, silly, sad, or find yourself questioning your worth every time you hang out with your boyfriend, something is wrong.
How does he feel about church?
Does he love being in the house of the Lord, or is he a holiday Christian? If he does not love God wholly, he will never love you healthily.
Who takes the tab?
A man should be willing to provide for you. There should be a big question mark in your mind if you have paid for all your dates. It is better for him to take you to Kenchic and pay for the soda, than to go to the Intercontinental and ask you to foot the bill. Offering his coat when you’re shivering, opening doors, walking on the side of traffic, these are all signs of a man who wants to protect. African culture is different from the west and some men may claim they do not believe in opening doors, but you should take note if he walks right in front of you, blocks the doorway and allows the door to swing towards you, threatening to hit your forehead, without so much as a glance behind him. Allow yourself to be protected.
Who is taking tablets?
By this I simply mean, discuss health. Genotypes, chronic conditions, medications should all be known in good time so that any decisions on the direction of the relationship can be made with open eyes.
Who’s keeping tabs on us?
Accountability is something we really shy away from as adults, because we are old enough to know what we want and we don’t need anybody keeping tabs on us. Right? Wrong. Accountability is very important in every relationship. As a couple you should be accountable to parents, friends and spiritual leaders. You should be accountable to God and in fact you are, knowingly or unknowingly. Accountability is not the same as being unreserved or imprudent.
Who is keeping skeletons in the closet?
Some things do not need to be confessed in detail, but if they should be known, let them be known – at the right time, of course. God will guide you and let you know when it is time. Sexual pasts, children out of wedlock, huge debts, etc are issues that should come out before marriage. Do it at the right time; sit down in a private, comfortable place and tell each other your stories… and forgive each other. Be careful – you should not bare your heart to every single man who comes your way.
Are we having fun?
A marriage with a person with whom you never have fun can be a very difficult thing. Marriage is a challenging calling and light moments are a great balm for the tough times. Enjoying your time together is an important ingredient in every relationship.
Is there any compromise?
Where does God feature in your relationship? Behold, He stands at the door and knocks – have you allowed Him to come in and dine in your relationship? Compromise, like someone said, means that when things are right between you and him, they are not right between you and God.
- Compiled by Jacqui and Pastor Moses
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totally on point !!!
thanks guys