Where can I meet a good Christian man?
Hi Pea
I am tired of being single. I have waited for too long for a man, am now hitting 28 years old and this email is just a sign of my desperation. I want to know where I can meet single Christian men, simple ways to connect with a man who is not soft like Christians of today but can stand firm in God and knows what he wants and can be the priest of his house. First I thought it was my looks but am now convinced I might just be looking in the wrong places, I hope you can provide some ideas for where I can meet a godly man.
Iva
Hi Iva,
I am sorry to hear that you’re tired of being single. At 28, this is probably a normal reaction; it must be very frustrating that you are still unmarried well into your twenties. It could simply be that you have been “looking in all the wrong places.” There are many ways to meet single Christian men.
Ever heard of the term “networking”? Well, it’s not just a business-related term. You can “network” on a personal level, too! It’s all about what you aspire to achieve from your networking efforts.
Before I go on, let’s remind ourselves that we should not expect from others what we are not willing to give. If you want to connect with a man who stands firm in God and can be the priest of his house, you have to be able to stand firm in God as well, and submit to a man’s priesthood.
Other “cliché” things you’ve probably heard so many times are: Smile! Dress decently, and always be prepared. There are several opportunities in a day to do God’s work. Always have a ready attitude. It’s better to be prepared and not have an opportunity come your way, than to have an opportunity that finds you unprepared. As you wait to meet that man, become someone he would be glad to meet as well. God is interested in your heart and any man who wants to please Him will seek His approval on its state (1 Samuel 16:7).
Here are a few places where you can meet new people.
Church.
A godly man spends his time with God. The most common place where people go to “meet” God and interact with His children is church. Get plugged in to a Bible-based church, but don’t do it with “finding a man” as your motive because that can lead to habitual church-hopping – deciding a church is wrong for you because you haven’t met the man you want to meet. At the same time, don’t be too distant. Make friends with people. Smile. Socialize. The benefits of belonging to a church far outweigh things like finding a man.
Christian Social Events
This is another place where you can meet wonderful, single, Christian men. The bonus is you might immediately find you have one thing in common – an interest in the topic of the event where you meet. Seminars, conferences, retreats, concerts, plays and celebrations are wonderful places to meet new people in a relaxed environment. Many people leave such events having made a bunch of new friends.
The Internet.
The internet is a blessing in this area as well. It is convenient and breaks barriers like time and distance. Even people with very hectic schedules can find a moment to sign in to their computers and interact with other people across the world. There are several dating sites out there; one I would recommend, having heard good reports from credible sources, is ChristianCafé.com. E-Harmony was once a great Christian matching site as well, but both it and its founder, Neil Clark Warren, have been shrouded in controversy due to compromise and apostasy. However, I personally know of two couples who met on this resource. People have met on Facebook groups and even by commenting on the status messages of mutual friends. If you must use the internet, do so wisely, and be sure to protect yourself accordingly as you get to know different people. There are wonderful stories of courtship and marriage, but we cannot ignore the serial killers and pedophiles who lurk in the world wide web. Prayer and wisdom can never be overemphasized in a Christian’s life.
Here are John Piper’s words on meeting on the internet:
Through Other People.
Your friends and family know you better than anyone else. There is nothing wrong with confiding in someone you can trust, and just letting them know that you are thinking of marriage. You never know; Mr. Right could be just an introduction away.
School/Work
Believe it or not, even though these are the last days, you are probably not the only Christian at your workplace or academic institution. Lol. Be open to meeting people here as well – within reason. Attend functions, making sure not to compromise your virtues. Make friends!
Iva, I pray that this is of some help to you. The right man will come at the appointed time. I would encourage you to enjoy your singlehood and make the most of it because when you get married, you will not be able to do many things the way you can do them now. I have heard many married people say they wish they had taken the opportunity to fellowship when they were single. They can now no longer go for overnight prayers without worrying about who will prepare dinner or watch the children. Singlehood is a time like no other, where you have the opportunity to please God and live for Him in ways that are unlike any other time in your life. Enjoy it, use this time to build yourself, and try not to think too much about your status as a single woman because it does not add to or take away from who you are in Christ. “The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.”—1 Corinthians 7:34.
Shalom,
P
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