Look. I many times want to come and wow you with some deep theological information that will get you seeing rainbows. But with all that I see around me, I cannot do this. Life, now that I think about it, is about relationships and so I have not really been veering off-topic by talking about some of the things I discuss on here. Sometimes I think I will come and talk about worship or praise, only to encounter something that gets me off on what I think is a different path, but is it a different path? We can’t worship or praise if our heart motives are mixed up.

Ladies, you get to say this to us men a whole lot so it feels great to be the one saying it this time: We need to talk. I read the article on “Ugly Boyfriend” and it stayed with me for a while. I kept asking msyelf, who cares if your friends think your fiancé does not look like your latest movie star? This is not the kind of thing that should cause one to lose sleep at night. But because it’s an issue I guess it had to be addressed.

It has been brought to my attention that many of you are walking around with a List of qualities you expect from the man that you hope to marry. This list includes things like, “Tall, cute, funny,” and even crazier versions like “Doesn’t eat eggs” or “If he has a pot it should be flabby and not smoothly round.”

I can’t help but point out that most of you who have these lists would not qualify to be in relationships with most guys if they had the same kind of list!

Honestly speaking, salvation is the only sensible thing that you can find on these lists – if it’s there. Funny enough most of the women who walk around with these lists end up marrying short, “not-so-cute”, large-bellied guys with bald heads and a different sense of humor.

So let’s talk about this. Who is this relationship thing about? Because from the looks of things, it appears to be all about you! Every single item on this list is based on your own selfish needs. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very wise to have a set of ideals that you’re not willing to compromise. Love and obedience to God can count as non-negotiables. But beyond that?

You’ve got to understand that what you want is not always what you need. When I was a boy I wanted candy all the time. If I’d had candy all the time, I can’t say where I would be today. Get it?

By the way, for those who don’t already know, that tall man is going to begin to shrink in old age. He might not be that cute once the wrinkles set in, and his sense of humor could well become a source of irritation. What do you do then?

Also by the way, how many men that fit that set of qualities have you met? I am not saying miracles don’t happen; in fact I have heard of cases where women have met the exact man they prayed for, but reality is that God knows us better than we know ourselves and provides us with our needs.

Don’t try so hard to get that mysterious List Guy that you miss out on the Right Guy for you. Seriously, life is about so much more than your list entails and when it gets down to it, you need someone who is level-headed enough to lead you even in the trials of life, connected enough to walk with you into your destiny rather than lead you away from it, someone with a big enough heart so that he loves you for who you are because he loves God more than anything, and someone who you are going to be able to spend every hour of 365 days a year for many, many years.

Marriage is forever and height, looks and humor may contribute but are the least of what we need to get us through this life. God sends us imperfect people to love and be loved by us just so we can grasp, to whatever extent is possible, the vast love that He has for us – imperfect you and me.

The Bible is enough of a guide and has all the recommendations you should be looking for in a spouse. Trust God and watch Him bless you profoundly. Know what you want, but be realistic and open to God’s guidance.

Here’s a scripture to drive the point home: 1 Samuel 16:7. But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.

I’d be glad to hear your thoughts.

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