ASK Nkatha: A Woman of Paradise
Nkatha on Fashion.
Nkatha believes in the importance of internal beauty over external appearances. Quoting 1 Timothy 2, she says that inner beauty means being “at rest in all areas of my life.” Unforgiveness and worry are things she advises against while love, compassion and peace make a person beautiful within. She has been brought up to dress modestly and depends on God for guidance. “I cover my body. There is a scripture which says that the men of God met with a woman dressed like a harlot. If there is a type of dressing that the Bible says is that of a harlot then I don’t want that. I have to cover myself. I don’t want to have any seductiveness around my body. I don’t believe I should look sexy to the whole world. I believe I should look sexy to my husband only in Jesus’ Name.”
Nkatha on Music.
Nkatha will not touch insulting, profane or sexual music with a million-foot pole. She also advises against “good” songs that are sung by profane musicians, stating that despite the message, it is still possible to pick up the individual’s spirit. “I listen to worship music only. Once in a while I’ll listen to classical music and instrumentals but that is for academic purposes because I’m a studious person and I study music. The Bible says faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God so I listen to scripture.”
Nkatha on Relationships and Marriage.
She is very passionate about maintaining purity in relationships. She begins by saying sex is a no-no, and kissing should be avoided. She says sex biases people and interferes with judgment and she advises any wman who has had sex before marriage to prayerfully end that relationship and stay far away from sex when God provides another man. Every good thing has a price and purity is the price that we pay for marriage. “When you’re married and you have kids and your child today is sick, what price will you say you paid in your relationship before you got married? You can stand before God and say we denied ourselves the passion of sex before we got married. You have o heal my child in Jesus name.” Nkatha is adamant about the importance of marriage and the seriousness with which it should be entered into.
She continues, sharing insights on what kind of man to marry. The first thing to look for? “I ask myself, am I able to submit to this guy? Or is it that somebody who is a yes-man? I need somebody who has brains that will challenge my decisions. Number two I look at the way the man handles his finances. Is he a guy who every time I go for a date I pay? I need a man who is a provider because of the way he behaves around me with his finances. He has to be man enough to know that he is here to provide for me and the way he behaves with his money shows me that we will have some financial security. Do not marry a guy who just spends his money n things that don’t make sense.” She has made up her mind that she will teach her children financial principles.
Nkatha has plenty to say to us ladies on preparing ourselves for marriage. “President Obama is one of the most handsome men in the world,” she begins. “When I look at his wife, she is very pretty but I find that she’s got brains. I say this because most of us have pretty faces but we have not taken time to build our intelligence levels. Women need to develop life skills. They need to learn how to invest their money and be business entrepreneurs, buy property, and be wise. A good man wants a woman who deals well with her finances because in case something happens to him you will not waste his money until his kids become beggars because he is no longer alive.”
She continues: “Women have to prepare themselves in birthing and identifying dreams. They carry the womb in the family. This means that the man’s dreams also can be birthed through his woman’s initiative, ability and support.”
Nkatha reiterates compassion one more time. “Women have to be merciful and kind to other people. There is no man that wants to marry a woman with a nasty attitude or one who thinks she is better than other women. A good man wants a woman that will build a home out of a house. A home is a place where everybody feels welcome. If people are coming to visit a man of God in his house and this woman is very aloof, not humble, not warm, she will throw out people from the village who came so innocently with five chickens and a paper bag and bicycles and placed them on her floor with love. That is not a good woman. It does not mean we will not meet weird people. Even if I had a gold chair, let them sit on that gold chair. If it’s dirty, God provided it, He will give me a clean one or I’ll clean it up for the sake of love. Your husband will be so pleased if he comes and finds you have entertained his guests, fed them – that’s what making a home is all about. You must be as graceful as if the queen came to your house. In my generation, such women are becoming extinct. These are the things that God tests in us. Even that beautiful house is not yours. Maybe God is testing you on how you will welcome people in that house so that he can give you the million dollar house that you’re praying for.”
Evidently, she is not done. She explains that in order to participate in decision-making in the home, women have to exercise discernment. Just like no good woman wants a yes-man, no good man will do well with a woman whose every response is “Yes, sir.”
Discipline and organization are also important, and lastly, Nkatha says that women should never take sides in-law family disputes. “The best way to deal with in-laws is to understand that blood is always thicker than water,” she says, advising women to support their husbands but at the same time discourage bitterness and take on the role of a peacemaker and reconciler between her husband and his relatives. “” Be the reconciler. That’s when you will live in harmony with your in-laws. Even your husband will love you more.” Every man, she explains, longs for his wife to get along with his relatives.
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Find Nkatha online:
www.nkatha.com
www.womanofparadise.org
www.myspace.com/nkathagreatday
www.womanofparadise.blogspot.com
all photos courtesy of Nkatha Gatuma
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Beautiful story and very inspiring. Keep it coming siz….don’t let nothing stop you! You are a blessing to this generation. love ya!