Meeting the Parents
Hey Yakuti – all of you wonderful peoples
I love the logo-icon-trademark thingie at the top of the website. Thanks for the article on nagging, that really made me examine myself and was hillarious that it took a man to talk about cactus for me to think about it seriously. Thanks. My question is for you and all the ladies out there. I am meeting boyfi’s parents in a bout a month and am really freaking out. Any tips on how to act, behave what to say wear do think…………anything to calm the nerves and is it okay if I need to use their bathroom because I get really pressed when I’m nervous so hope it wont look strange me going five times?
Syombua Supuu
Hey, Syombua Supuu.
Thank you so much for your question and your compliment on the “logo-icon-trademark thingie at the top”. Yes, the cactus statement did get us all thinking, didn’t it? 
So you are meeting the parents! Congratulations! This is an important milestone in your relationship and I am really happy for you. I am assuming that you know this man well enough; meeting the parents means you guys have decided this is “it”.
Well, without any further ado:
How to act/behave: Please be yourself. Human beings cannot fake things for too long and if you try to change your character, you will get caught.
What to say: The truth (Colossians 3:9). Everything comes out eventually so some things are better said early. It is likely that you will be asked a few questions. Don’t give out Too Much Information (TMI) that will make everyone uncomfortable. This is not the forum to intimately discuss your emotional problems or family drama. It is unlikely anyone will want to know that the maid who kept burning the onions was fired last week, or that your auntie’s boyfriend recently quit smoking weed. Don’t brag about your achievements; if they must be mentioned, let them not come from you. You don’t want to be a “beauty without brains” so seek God about wisdom on what to say.
What to wear: What you would normally wear for the same type of event (1 Timothy 2:9). If you are not meeting at the parents’ home, dress appropriately for the occasion not so much because they will mind but rather because things are usually easier when we are comfortable. Don’t overdo it. Be yourself.
What to do: If you have agreed on a time, be punctual. Take a simple gift if you can afford one. This does not have to be something humongous or expensive. If you are from different countries or cultures you can take something from your country/culture and explain what it is or what it is used for. Do your research; you don’t want to give chocolates if the parents are diabetic, for example, or exotic coffee if they are allergic to caffeine, or wine if alcohol is an abomination for them. If you can’t afford a gift, don’t beat yourself up about it. Don’t hang around too long after the main event (lunch, dinner, etc).
What to think: Keep your mind stayed on God (Isaiah 26:3). Cast down all imaginations that creep in to convince you that you are not good enough, or you do not look beautiful, or all those thoughts that usually come when we don’t need them.
To calm your nerves: Pray, pray, pray, pray! (Phil 4:6-8.) Most people say they are very nervous at first but as soon as they meet the parents, they find they had no reason to be nervous at all.
On using the bathroom: Please remember to go before you visit! But if you get there and need to go, politely and discreetly ask your boyfriend or his mother where it is. Pray about the being pressed as well (Phil 4:6-7), although I don’t think it will be a big deal to anyone.
Please write and let me know how it goes! I wish you all the best and I am certain you will have a lovely time. I’ll be praying for you, too!
Shalom,
P
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