Don’t tell people not to date unbelievers!
July, 2009 | 
Author: 
Dear Pea
I think it’s unreal for you to expect people to date only saved men, some of the most wonderful people I know may attend church once in a while but don’t make a habit of it and some of the ones who go to church everyday of theweek are the worst characters. . . remember it says God looks at the heart, right so how do we distinguish who is forreal and who is faking it to avoid ending up with the wrong person. My opinion is dont tell people not to date unbelievers but rather lets pray for the eyes of our understanding to be opened
Thanks,
Julia J
Hi Julia.
Thank you for sharing your concerns. Are you thinking of getting into a relationship with an unbeliever, by any chance? Please allow me to share my thoughts with you as well.
Julia, this is not about my expectations but rather about what God commands. The Bible says love for God is shown by obeying His commandments, which are not grievous (1 John 5:3); this means that He would not ask us to do anything if there was no grace available for us to be able to do it.
Secondly, being wonderful is not the same as having eternal life. I agree with you that there are many people who are nice to others and display wonderful qualities but the reality is that anyone who has not confessed with their mouth and believed in their heart that Jesus Christ is Lord, is not saved (Romans 10:9). Relationships are the first step toward marriage which is an institution created by God before even the church was formed. Marriage is a calling and a demonstration of God’s love for us which means that it is best carried out under His instruction, i.e. by people who are His followers.
Julia, we cannot base our decisions on the decisions of others. Those “worst characters” who go to church every day do not disqualify God’s commandments or the fact that we should obey Him and not forsake the assembly (Hebrews 10:25). The very heart you say God looks at is deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9) and desperately wicked – that is why we need Him to show us the truth. Our hearts are deceptive and desperately wicked and with all due respect Julia I have to point out that it is deception that is behind your mail.
We distinguish who is for real and who is faking not by doing a head count at church but rather by testing the spirits (1 John 4:1) and observing the fruits (Matthew 7:16-20). Fig trees do not bear thorns; my mother says you can never get milk by squeezing a lemon. Observe the person under the squeeze and the true character will come out, whether it is bitter lemon or white milk.
While we are each entitled to our own opinions and while I am thankful that God gave us minds with which to reason, your opinion cannot be the sole basis for my actions or decisions. Indeed, let us pray for the eyes of our understanding to be opened, and when our prayer is answered let us use these eyes to look and discern what God requires of us, in Jesus’ Name.
Shalom,
P
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Posted in Relationships
i don’t think people can be told what to do or feel, most of the time they will do what they like. We don’t like ferrari cause we are told to, we just do. well, you might not find the best characters in church but it is only God who knows how hard/or not they try to change. believer or not we have been blessed with very many characters whom we can only learn from. even the worst characters have been known to change.
I’ve come to the realization that when God tells us not to do something there are reasons behind it. He doesn’t just give us commands for the sake of giving us commands.
Marriage was ordained by God and it is a picture in the flesh of Christ’s love for the church. God’s love is higher and purer than the love of this world. Its unconditional, its not “I love you today and hate you tomorrow.” God’s love is sacrifical love, of how He loved us so much even whilst we were still in our trangressions He sent His only begotten Son to come and die for us. Christ gave up the pleasures of life to bear the cup of the Father’s wrath that was reserved for you and I (Ephesians 2:1-5, John 3:16-18). That is sacrifical love and that is how God wants us to love our spouse’s, to the point that we are willing to die for them. 1 Corinthains 13 tells us what love is. Unless a person is a believer they will never understand what true love is, for those who are unbelievers are said to be in darkness (2 corinthains 6:14)
As one person put it “The word unbeliver applies to all destitute of true faith. The fatal effects of neglecting scripture precepts as to marriages clearly appear. Instead of a help-meet, the union brings a snare.”
People who enter into such unions against the express warnings of God’s Word must expect much distress. No marriage is perfect because a marriage involves two imperfect human beings (but we strive to become perfect) but there are some problems that can be avoided.
Look at it this way, you go to chuch regulary and your partner attends church sometimes. You have children together. You want your children to attend church regulary with you but seeing that daddy doesn’t the children want to follow his example, are you going to be happy with this? Another example is that of decision making. Are you going to be happy to submit to a man who makes ungodly decisions? Afterall, the Bible says that wives are to submit to their husbands for he is the head of the wife, the leader of his home (Ephesians 5:22-33).
I agree with Paula that you are following deception. The belief that people can change is a lie from the pit of hell. Its Eve and the serpent all over again when the serpent told her that eating the forbidden fruit will not result in any fatal consquences only for her to bite into the fruit and for her eyes to be opened. Don’t get me wrong, yes some husbands and wives have been known to change for the better in marriage but not without many tears, heartache and countless nights on ones knees. Why put yourself through all that? What if he doesn’t change? Save yourself from distress by simply yeiding to God’s warning. Don’t be afraid to let go and let God.
Another question I would employ you to ask youself sis is, do you love this man more than God? (Matthew 10:37, John 14:15 and 23)