Of Boyfriends and Busts

Hey Toyin,

My boyfriend wants me to get breast implants because I have small breasts.

… I am confused please help me?

Sarah

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Hi Pea!

Advice for small-busted women? I recently broke up with a man who insisted that I get breast implants. I had no problem with my A-cup before I met this man but after that relationship, even though I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I constantly find myself questioning my beauty and wondering if anyone will ever want to be with me in spite of my small bust.

Thanks!

Cheryl.

Hi Sarah and Cheryl!!

Sarah, Toyin has answered the health part of your question and we felt that your first statement about your boyfriend should be taken care of here.

I am not sure if your boyfriend knows what he is asking for. And if he does, then he is not serious with life and love. Is he courting your breasts? Does he think that his desire is worth your enduring surgery, scarring, infection, possibly more surgery, and all the complications that come with breast implants? If he does, then that is selfish, to say the least. I think agreeing to do this for him is out of the question, but how can you be sure that if you do, he will not make another equally-outrageous request?

Breast-augmentation is not something you do because someone else wants you to or simply to follow the latest trend. Your boyfriend’s request defies all possible Biblical definitions of love which include patience, kindness, putting others first, and not being rash. He is supposed to be looking out for you, not enforcing or reinforcing insecurities.

You are not your own. You were bought with a price and your body is the temple of God (1 Corinthians 6:20). Don’t mess with it, don’t follow trends. I really would recommend ending this relationship for your own peace of mind.

Cheryl, advice for small-busted women can’t be too different from advice for big-busted or medium-busted women and I say the same to Sarah, too.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. God’s works are marvelous Know this (Psalm 139)!  I pray God puts this knowledge in your spirit. Regardless of your bust- or anything-size, you are a Masterpiece because you are a work of the Master. Every single feature and flaw you were born with was put or allowed deliberately. God never makes mistakes. A small bust is neither a disease nor a way to measure your worth.

As for whether anyone would want to be with either of you, all I can say is the devil is a liar. You are both beautiful women and can find men who will love you healthily because they truly love God first. There are actually men out there, Cheryl, who would want to be with you not in spite of, but BECAUSE OF your small bust. Thankfully, there are also men who will treasure and appreciate you for who you are – a child of God first. Because of what you went through in that previous relationship, there seem to be strongholds that have formed in your mind and I’d encourage you to just cast down imaginations and bring every thought captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 10:4). Jokes that people make should not be paid attention to or taken seriously. Dress up in modest ways that make you feel both comfortable and beautiful. Surround yourself with people who celebrate your inner beauty and encourage you to bring it out to bless others and further the kingdom. There is nobody who will celebrate you more than Jesus Christ and I’d recommend anchoring yourself deep in the shadow of His wings.

God bless you both… life is about more than boyfriends and busts and I know that as you begin and continue to focus permanently on the Lord, you will realize just how trivial some of these things are in comparison to His majesty and love. Seriously. May He open the eyes of your understanding and reveal to you the greatness of your inheritance in Him!

Shalom

P

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