Matchmaker, Matchmaker…
Is it wrong to matchmake or be matchmade? How do I do it – for example how do I ask someone to hook me up if I want it to happen?
Hi!
If a friend walked up to you with an offer to “hook you up” with some eligible, Christian man that you had never met, he or she would probably be met with hostility. For some reason, matchmaking has just never been the classy way to get into a relationship in our generation. It has been portrayed as something done by desperate women who have no lives.
The average young woman wants to be able to say, when she tells that glorious “how-we-met” story, that she walked into a room and felt that she was being watched, only to realize that a handsome man in the corner was staring intently at her. Never mind if the room is empty or full. It makes for a classic, romantic first meeting.
Some people say it’s wrong to be a matchmaker because it will be your fault if the couple ends up divorced somewhere 20 years down the line. Some say it is taking upon ourselves God’s work. But is this really the case? Many of my friends who are now married were introduced to each other by mutual friends. There has to be something about this thing that works. Women pray to God every day to send a husband their way, forgetting that sometimes God uses people and we should not put Him or His plans in a box.
Our friends and relatives know us probably better than anyone else. They know our temperament, our likes and dislikes and our spiritual stand. I would say it is not wrong, and in fact it is something that I was once against but after much thought would now encourage for young, single women.
How do you ask to be matched up with someone? Well, I’d say you just open your mouth and ask. You don’t have to say it explicitly if you’re shy, but you can vocalize your desire to be in a relationship. You can ask a close friend to pray about it with you. As you do, your friends may begin to open their eyes to people around them who might be wonderful matches for you. You know how girlfriends can be.
Realize, importantly, that things could go in any random direction. You may be introduced to a man with whom you see nothing ever working. Or one that you are attracted to, who just does not like you in that way. Or you may both just want to be friends. Be kind to the man and the matchmaker, however your situation turns out. Don’t take offense. And in all your ways, acknowledge God – He will direct your paths. With Him, all things are possible. Which means it is possible that He has ordained for that man He selected for you to be introduced to you by a friend.
Shalom.
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