Tips for Newlyweds
Dear Pea,
I got engaged! Yeaaaaaaaaa!!!! Please see the attached picture of my fat ring and rejoice with me! Any tips for a soon-to-be newlywed? Neither Tony nor I have had sex before, should we be nervous about wedding night and any tips to make us less nervous? Should I prepare a special first meal or is it okay if we just do takeout, I mean I’ve cooked for him before and he knows I’m not that great….. we have gotten a house already and its bigger than the one I live in, should I get a maid, my friends think its unwise for the first few years of marriage to have another woman in the house? How can I be a Proverbs 31 fiancée? I am so excited I could screeeammmmmmm!
Tight hugs,
Akinyi.
Hi Akinyi!
Congratulations!!!! I can feel your excitement; I’m very happy for you.
Hmm, very interesting questions you have there… I’m not sure I can answer all of them, because as I’m sure you know, I’m not married, but I’ll give it a shot.
Tips for a soon-to-be newlywed? Give thanks. Many women dream of the day when they will be in your shoes. Enjoy the last moments of singlehood and use them to learn as much as you can about marriage from aunties, friends, pastors, the Bible.
Should you be nervous about wedding night? It’s normal to be, but from the accounts of my married friends, you shouldn’t worry about it at all!
Any tips to make you less nervous? Pray about it; talk about it with a pre-marital counsellor. Most churches have a ministry specifically for soon-to-be-married couples.
Should you prepare a special first meal? Why not! But it will probably be at least a week before you do, if you go on a honeymoon. If you’re “not all that” in the kitchen, you can always use this time to take cooking classes or get a few tips from friends who are good cooks. I personally believe anyone can cook. My mother says, “There are recipe books, and you know how to read; what could be so hard about cooking?”
Should you get a maid? If you don’t really need one, then I would say don’t do it. The first few months, even years of marriage are for just the two of you. I’d say try and wait until the gruelling years of motherhood when you might need a little help to take care of your first child. But first, let it just be you, Tony and God. Enjoy it – these times may be gone before you know it.
How can you be a Proverbs 31 fiancée? I’ll keep it simple and say, “With God all things are possible.” If you’ve watched the show Bridezillas, you know that you will need grace as the wedding day approaches. Pray for patience, a smooth flow of events, for the wine not to run out as Chichi would say. And watch out for temptation – it’s usually just before or just after a victory that the enemy strikes. You’ve overcome in chastity – keep that until you get married.
Beautiful ring, by the way!
Congratulations again.
Merry Christmas, and Shalom!
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