We’re Incompatible!

Posted by Yakuti in Archives, Relationships | | 0 comments

Dear Pea,

I’ve been in a relationship with a man for ten months but I don’t think we are compatible. My friends are also concerned about this. I love him very much. I am working on my patience and I like to look beautiful. But he doesn’t like it when I spend money on myself! I’m a laid back chatterbox but he is too quiet. I did petroleum engineering and am about to finish my Ph.D but he only has a masters. Is this okay or should I look for someone else? After all, they say opposites attract.

You can call me Adrina.

Dear Adrina,

Please don’t buy into the E-Harmony and what-have-you hype. Everybody is incompatible with everybody else. The only people who are incompatible beyond repair and therefore must stay away from each other are a believer and an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14). Everyone else has issues they have to work on, and God has designed and allowed it to be that way so that we can grow. You might break up your current relationship and find a laid back chatterbox who has two Ph.Ds and loves to spend money on you but believe me, it will still not be perfect.

On the other hand, “opposites attract” only as far as sexuality, in that in God’s design, a man will be attracted to a woman and vice versa. It is important to have shared general interests and expectations in life. This is why we are supposed to be equally yoked! God as the Foundation will be the Bottom Line to all interests and expectations. It is better for you to be with an “incompatible” man who is in love with God, than with a “compatible” one who is in the world.

The issues you talk about are very trivial, in my opinion. If despite your achievements and desires you are willing to submit to this man if marriage becomes your lot, then that is all that matters. God can work anything out. But speak to Him first and see if this is His will. He will never lead you astray. As with all things, take your time.

As for your friends, do not despise what they say, but remember that they are not the ones who will have to spend the rest of their lives with this man. Pay attention to them, but let God have the last word. Let our Father be your Bottom Line.

Finally: Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways, acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).

.