On the Sufferer’s Terms
The Word: Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves (Phil 2:3).
Prayerful Contemplation: Am I too preoccupied with my own welfare to notice it when something is wrong in another person’s life? Further, what do I do when people come to me with their problems? Do I listen to them, or am I constantly thinking of wise words to answer their questions – questions I will probably not hear if I am calculating answers instead of paying attention? Do I look blankly at the speaker(s) and wonder when they will finish what they are saying? Do I doodle on a paper, saying “uh-huh” and “Really?!” on the phone, praying that they hurry up and let me go?
Do the conversations I take part in always find ways to end up with me as the topic? Do I want to barrage people with my problems, concerns, information, without giving them a chance to get a word in? How often do I call people, just to say hello? Do I only get in touch when it is to my benefit; when I need something; when I am having a bad day?
Does true Christianity in any way involve good manners, and could it be that basic courtesy is a by-product of love?
On whose terms do I act (i.e., whom do I consider and put first) when another person is the sufferer? And on whose terms do I act (i.e., whom do I consider and put first) when I am the one going through something? Am I too proud to, in lowliness of mind, esteem another person above myself? Must I always be the only one who is first, best, more important, dominating the conversation, paid attention to, felt sorry for, prayed for, comforted?
What do my prayers sound like? How many lines consist of thanks and praise to God? How many consist of my needs, requirements, criteria, and even gossip to God about His children, pointing out motes when I have beams, being a tattle-tale – and should this be so? How many, quite importantly, consist of me calling out the names of people to God at times when I know it would be more fun to be in my bed, fast asleep?
Practical Application: Common courtesy is a by-product of love. If the love of Christ dwells richly in my heart, I will not rush to get past the zebra-crossing before the pedestrian begins to walk. I will not call people only when I need something. I will not expect all things to be on my terms. If there are no seats left, I will get up so that the old man or pregnant lady may have my seat – whether I am in Africa, where it counts for more, or in America, where nobody will notice.
A friend of mine said to me that love is time, meaning that if a person says he or she loves me, it should be evident in the amount of time they are willing to dedicate to me. Sometimes, I do not need to do anything to show love – all I need to do for others is be there, and perhaps let them knowI am praying for them. It means actually praying for other people as though their struggles were my own. It means showing, in my actions, that I care and am not simply concerned with how every situation will benefit me. It means stopping by or making that phone call just to say hello. It means asking, and genuinely wanting to know, how a person is when we say hello.
Today and always, may the Lord place in my heart a love for Him and may this be evidenced in my love for His children, because His word clearly tells me:
Memory Verse: If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? (1 John 4:20).
Prayer: Heavenly Father, help me to esteem other people above myself. You have said that greater love hath no man than this, that a man should lay down his life for his friends. Jesus, You laid down Your life for me, and called me Your friend. It is the least I can do, gracious Saviour, to reach out and give my time and effort to bless, in whatever small ways, the lives of Your children, my brothers and sisters. Grant me the grace to love as You want me to love, and teach me to be patient with others and with myself as You are patient with us. In Jesus’ Name I humbly ask it – Amen.
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