Preach, Convert, Marry (PCM) dating
Q: Why is PCM (Preach, Convert, Marry) so wrong? I know a guy who is not born again and we are so perfect for each other minus this annoying fact! But he seems to be changing his ways by being around me. So how is this wrong, if it will eventually lead to him getting saved?
Thanks for your question. It is clear that you know PCM is wrong. So you are just looking for a way to justify doing something God is against, and I cannot help with that. I am glad you asked this question, however, because I have had experience with it on two distinct occasions.
God is not sadistic. He does not derive some form of sick pleasure from human suffering. He loves us and when He tells us to do or refrain from doing something, He is doing it out of love and wisdom. While we tend to be spiritually short-sighted as human beings, God always sees the big picture and it’s wise to listen to what He has to say or else we will end up in misery. And I know, from experience!
We are commanded to refrain from unequal yokes. That means that believers should not unify with unbelievers in any relationship. Who is a believer? Someone who goes to church on Easter and Christmas, and for funerals? No. A believer is a person who is born again, who loves Jesus Christ and leads a daily life of worship to Him. Therefore, an atheistic man courting a “Christmas/Funeral Christian” woman is not in an unequal yoke. And a man in love with Jesus courting a woman who does not walk her talk is unequally yoked. I believe that needs to be made clear.
When you date someone who is not born again, first of all you it will affect your devotional life. The Holy Spirit will convict you. It is very likely that you will experience guilt, and if this eventually wears away, then you will begin to pray fervently for his salvation, yet your reasons will be biased. You will not be praying out of genuine concern for his soul. You will be praying so that you can have Biblical permission to remain in his life as more than a friend.
The irony with PCM is, if one is trying to tell a person about Jesus, then they are doing it wrong, because in trying to convince the person that God values obedience, this PCM-er will be disobeying! You can’t tell a person that Jesus is Number One, if you have let this person take the number one spot in your life. You are no longer credible as a result of your choice.
It is impossible for you, a human being, to convert another human being. A man may be wowed by your beauty and make it to church on a few Sundays. He may even get “saved”. Sometimes, it’s genuine. Many times, it’s not. even where it is genuine, the question will endlessly be, “Was it for real, or was it just for me? Would it have happened if it weren’t for me?” and such questions can cause problems.
This man cannot come to the Father through anyone BUT Jesus (John 14:6). So don’t try to put yourself in Christ’s place.
It all boils down to deciding who you love more – God, or your desires.
Check out these similar posts:
Recent Comments